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Opening day today. Baseball. College baseball.

Purists might turn up their nose at the game, with schools using cost-cutting measures like metal bats and pretty much only playing teams in the same region until tournament time. However, these people have to realize that baseball is the only sport in which colleges compete directly with the professional leagues in obtaining players.

Here in Bootleg City, our community college has a pretty good team. (Go, Fighting Acetates!) Like any self-respecting school, it pays for its players — but only through scholarships, of course (wink wink) — and over the years we’ve had some pretty good athletes who’ve gone on to greater glory in the pros.

(Recognize the guy on the left? He pitched for Bootleg City Community College for a few years. Cost a fortune, but totally worth it.)

To add to the magic, today will be the first game in the Acetates’ new stadium, a 100,000-seat monster with hundreds of luxury boxes, and each seat comes equipped with its own Internet-connected monitor so fans can watch replays at their convenience and even check their Twitter feeds.

Jerry Jones, you’re an amateur. (I thought this city was broke. Nobody tells me anything! —Mayor Cass, via prison)

For us baseball fans, opening day is a special time. Green grass, red-brick clay, hot dogs, and adult beverages. Peace on earth seems possible, and for a few hours all is right with the world.

And baseball ties into this week’s concert how, you ask? Simple — only on opening day can miraculous events occur, such as the one witnessed by myself, a semi-recognizable ’80s glam-metal guitarist, and Megadeth.

In Bootleg City we have several thousand ROIOs, or recordings of independent origin (wink wink again), stored in the archives, an underground climate-controlled vault with reinforced concrete. It’s a good system: any citizen can bring their MP3 player to the library and “check out” what they want.

And so, last Monday, seeing as how I was in the mood to get the blood flowing for the festivities to come, I put Megadeth’s May 29, 1995, gig from Kanagawa Kenmin Hall in Yokohama, Japan, on my iPod. Little did I know that the universe was about to bestow something special on me: a companion piece to my boot-listening pleasure appeared out of nowhere, a testament to this week’s serenity.