Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
“All By Myself” – Celine Dion. Produced by David Foster. Written by Eric Carmen.
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
Have I used that header before? I probably have. Well, it’s true. Before we delve into the specifics of the three songs I lined out in my entry two weeks ago (heh…), I’m presenting my Quite Comprehensive Guide of David Foster Productions, previously published, but never actually read by anyone, on my very own website a couple of years ago. It’s too bad to let all this work go to waste, so, my dear hordes, here it is in all its glory. Enjoy it if you can:
David Foster has been my musical hero for 25 years. It’s been a turbulent relationship, I’ll admit that much, but in one way or another he’s always been an important influence on my musical taste and on my own development as a musician. I’m self-taught on the piano, and for all practical reasons I’m like a Casio-Foster-preset on the keys.
My relationship with Foster has waggered to and fro, from blind worship and pure fandom through frustrations and disappointments to rediscoveries of pure delight and restored faith, only to be disappointed all over again.
Today I’ve come to terms with the fact that me and Foster have gone separate ways musically, and that we’ll probably never meet on the same note again.
But there was a time when David Foster was a different man; a young, hungry and immensely talented musician who turned to producing other artists by the time he was 25. He had the chops and he used them. He was energetic, had great rhythm and last but not least, he showed an early talent for those romantic ballads. And that’s the kind of Foster I still love.
David Foster has produced hundreds, if not thousands of songs. Here’s a chronological selection from that body of work with a few comments, mainly focused on those projects where he produced an entire album, or at least vital parts of it. Hope you enjoy the overview. (more…)
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
I’m sorry, but my mind is a total blank this week, and I don’t know what else to do than to continue the bashing from last time. Please forgive me, I’m no doubt a talentless and bitter dick for wasting my time writing crap about this guy, this genius, who has so much more talent in his left thumb than I have in my entire body that he’s laughing himself all the way to the bank on a yellow-brick road covered by red carpets (red-brick road?), champagne and cheap blondes while I’m sitting here in my ramshackled camp trailer on the edge of the world, watching Swedish Dansband on television to try to laugh off the pain and drinking methanol to stay warm. Did I mention that Foster was in an artistic and commercial slum last weep? Oops, sorry — Freudian slip time — that’s “slump last week.”
Before we delve into the specifics of the three songs I lined out in last week’s entry, we will take a look at David Foster’s career in the late ’80s, and today we’re moving on to 1988. At this point he wasn’t as productive as he used to be, and he certainly didn’t dominate the charts like he used to. He was going through a divorce at the time and, as a freak experiment, he decided to take Sundays off for the first time since his pre-teens, apparently to catastrophic effect. So, a lot of bad things were happening to our hero. Case in point:
“Carmelita’s Eyes” by Neil Diamond, from The Best Years of Our Lives (1988). Produced by David Foster. Written by Neil Diamond and David Foster. (more…)
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
I’ve been on a break for a couple of weeks, but you probably haven’t noticed — David Foster is everywhere these days. In a sense, I feel I’ve reached the point where I can say: Good job, Terje. Mission Accomplished and all that. Jason and Jeff couldn’t keep their big, fat hands off him during their grim ride throughout the frothbolous wonders of Mellowmas, could they? They even managed to insult me and my rare, exotic name. Fuckers. I have to say, guys, you really outdid yourselves during Mellowmas this year. I have blocked my RSS reader from displaying any content with the word “mellowmas” in it, and I will never, ever listen to a Christmas song again, at least as long as I’m legally competent and the undisputed master of my faculties. (We intend to make sure Terje’s legal competence is called into question well before Week 52. –Ed.)
PBS wasted a whole week on Foster’s Vegas concert, the one I reviewed back in November. I’m located elsewhere, but I have my sources, and I’m under the distinct impression that most Americans gathered around their TV sets that week to enjoy the company of Foster and Friends. Don’t deny it, I know you watched it, too. It’s something in your food, isn’t it? I’m so over that concert, by the way. Thank you.
In fact, I wasn’t at all that sure I wanted to keep doing this series for yet another 180 days. We’ve reached the glorious year of 1986 in the course of my loose chronological order, true, but it also means that the best years of David Foster’s career, at least as far as I’m concerned, are behind him and I will spend the next 20 posts writing about music that I basically don’t give a damn about — at all. I spent my Christmas vacation concocting all kinds of elaborate plans to opt out of my deal: Sorry guys — just got this new gig, really demanding job, too busy to continue writing… Serious health issues, marital distress, moving into a tent with no Internet connection — all options were explored.
But in the end I was too proud. A promise is a promise, and I need to keep my part of the deal to fuel the notion of the man I aspire to be. I can’t wait until June, though, when Jeff, the evil mastermind who gave birth to this painful series in the first place, has to keep his part of the deal. You know, he agreed to do anything I asked of him. Really. Anything. Use your imagination, guys and gals — be as mean as you can be and hit me — no, sorry — hit Jeff with your evil schemes in the comment section. (more…)
Jason: So today’s track is from a David Foster Christmas album.
Jeff: Isn’t that perfect?
Jason: Anybody want to take a guess who suggested it?
Jeff: Ken! Ken Shane!
Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No, you fucknut! Terje! Terje Fjelde! The man behind Into the Ear of Madness, the weekly Foster-obessive series on Popdose!
Jeff: Oh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! That dude!
Jason: I have no idea what to do with the “j’ in his last name, do you?
Jeff: You mean how to pronounce it?
Jason: I guess it’s a “y” sound?
Jeff: When I say it out loud, I pronounce it “Curtis Armstrong.”
Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Okay, so Terje sends us an e-mail, and he says: “It’s an All-Star rendition of ‘White Christmas’ from David Foster’s 1993 Christmas album, with what no doubt is the most soulful delivery of the line ’sleighbells in the snow’ in the history of recorded music.
“With: Natalie Cole, Roberta Flack, Peabo Bryson, BeBe and CeCe Winans, Celine Dion (in French), Tom Jones, Vanessa Williams, Michael Crawford, Tammy Wynette, Johnny Mathis and Wynonna.”
Jeff: Nice!
Jason: And I looked on my hard drive, and it was already there. But what I can’t figure out is: how did I miss it before?
Jeff: Willpower? Luck? All of the above? What an incredible lineup.
Jason: Define “incredible.”
Jeff: “With tons of miserable potential.”
Jason: That’s what I thought you meant. Let’s go!
David Foster — White Christmas (download)
From The Christmas Album Amazon
Jason: Oh, those keyboards. That’s David Foster, all right.
Jeff: I’m in middle school all over again.
Jason: So I guess this is Natalie Cole. Sounds like Natalie Cole.
Jeff: Have I ever told you how much I fucking loathe Natalie Cole?
Jason: You have. I believe we attempted to do a Mellowmas track of hers last year, but it didn’t make the cut.
Jeff: Oh boy. Is that Peabo?
Jason: It ain’t Roberta Flack! I’m not going to recognize another voice until Tom Jones, I know it.
Jeff: Do you feel seasick?
Jason: I feel like David Foster is sucking the soul out of all the artists, and us as well.
Jeff: Oh, there’s Celine. Singing in FRENCH, the bitch.
Jason: I wish she sang in German.
Jeff: Go back to your own country!
Jason: Hey, don’t be a dick! Terje is foreign!
Jeff: This song is synthtastic!
Jason: Hey, there’s Tom Jones! How did he get involved? Wait, I bet the answer is in an “Into the Ear of Madness” post somewhere.
Jeff: There are SO MANY SYNTHS.
Jason: Which “sleighbells in the snow” line was the most soulful one? I think I was busy shoving cotton into my ears the first time around.
Jeff: I don’t know, I can’t think straight.
Jason: It’s like a “Voices That Care” Christmas carol.
Jeff: There’s too much going on here, and all of it sucks.
Jason: I hate it.
Jeff: BOLTON!
Jason: That was Bolton?
Jeff: Was it?
Jason: Shit! Two Bolton appearances this year?
Jeff: Wasn’t it? I don’t know.
Jason: I don’t know either. I don’t know anything anymore. Oh man, now they’re all riffing and shit. Rein ‘em in, Foster! These bitches work for YOU!
Jeff: I do know that David Foster thinks that 64 synth tracks plus some overdubbing equals holiday spirit.
Jason: Hey, fuck you, buddy! Do you have hits like David Foster? I didn’t THINK so!
Jeff: Diane Warren? Is that you?
Jason: It’s called “pop music” because it’s “popular”! Isn’t that what he’s been talking about this month while promoting his new book?
Jeff: I also know that if I’m ever hosting a holiday party and I want everyone to go home, I’m playing this.
I wonder if this song turns into “After the Love Is Gone” when you play it backwards.
Jason: Hey! Where the hell is Cetera? How did he get out of this? Doesn’t Foster own his soul?
Jeff: I think he was probably busy writing a check for half his assets to his ex-wife at the time.
Jason: Do you think Jason Scheff was knocking on the studio door?
Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Jason: “Peter, uh, can’t make it. Can I come in?” This is great. Now I’m picturing Jason Scheff suffocating Peter Cetera. This is actually the nicest thing I’ve thought about all Mellowmas.
Jeff: That’s a nice metaphor for Jason Scheff’s career, actually. “Peter isn’t here. Mind if I, uh, sing?”
Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha ha h!
Jeff: “You may know me from such hits as ‘Sounds Like That Other Chicago Song’ and ‘Same Damn Ballad All Over Again’.”
Jason: Well, that song’s over.
Jeff: wipes hands, hard drive
Jason: That was pretty terrible. Syrupy, schmaltzy, exactly what I expected, yet I’m still upset by it. Thanks a lot, Ken.
Jeff: There’s a Mellowmas continuum, you know? At one end is “Oh my God, that was actually pleasant.” In the middle is Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. At the other end is “That hurt to listen to.”
Jason: Where does this fall for you? I’m somewhere between the middle and end.
Jeff: I think this track was closer to the “hurts to listen to” end.
Jason: Before or after Singing Saw?
Jeff: Ugh.
Jason: I’m just asking.
Jeff: I don’t want to think about it.
Jason: Fair enough.
Jeff: Which I guess means that I like this song better than the Singing Saw.
Jason: Well, thanks, Terje, you’ve infected us all with Foster yet again.
Jeff: The Ear of Madness claims two more victims.
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
I received the new David Foster CD/DVD in the mail yesterday along with his autobiography, Hitman! Forty Years of Making Music, Topping Charts & Winning Grammys.
I wasn’t ecstatic in any way – I jumped up and down a couple of times and did a pirouette in front of my bewildered wife – nothing major. The CD concept was a bit of a disappointment — no studio recordings, merely a selection of audio files from the PBS Special Tribute Concert featured on the DVD. I didn’t expect this Vegas extravaganza to affect me in any way, and a small part of me didn’t even want to see it. After all, what could Eric Benet, Michael Johns, or Katharine McPhee bring to the table? Sure, I used to adore David Foster, but I’m not that guy anymore – I haven’t been for the past 15 years. David Foster’s syrupy ballads doesn’t move my heart these days; John Coltrane and Bill Evans do.
And even though I always tell people I’m so uncool, it’s really just a way to downplay people’s expectations. I’m secretly convinced that I’m about the coolest person on this side of the North Pole. I have a giant ego and no doubt a seriously disturbed positive self-image. And most importantly, David Foster, Peter Cetera or “I Swear” have no place whatsoever in this delusion. So, when I sat down to watch the DVD, I was prepared to laugh at Peter Cetera’s spasmodic performance jerks. I was prepared to tsk and groan in despair as this poperatic catastrophe evolved before my eyes and ears.
Then something funny happened. I was about to turn away as Kenny G entered the picture two minutes into the concert, but once again the seductive tones of “Love Theme from St. Elmo’s Fire” had me transfixed. I suddenly took in the beautiful autumn leaves flowing over the background screen, I found myself smiling at Foster’s playful glances at his audience. And good, old Kenny G — he looked pretty great for a 52-year-old, didn’t he? NO! I did not think that thought! But I did. (more…)
Today marks the final post of 2008 for Bottom Feeders. So instead of starting the letter G and then going on break, let’s take a look back at the first 33 weeks of the series, with what I believe are the ten best, the ten worst, and the ten rarest songs in the series up to this point.
The Best
10. Jimmy Buffett, “It’s My Job” (download)
9. Bee Gees, “You Win Again” (download)
8. Crosby, Stills & Nash, “War Games” (download)
7. The Time, “The Oak Tree” (download)
6. The Cult, “Fire Woman” (download)
5. Dragon, “Rain” (download)
4. Devo, “Theme From Doctor Detroit” (download)
3. Jon Astley, “Jane’s Getting Serious” (download)
2. Joan Armatrading, “Drop the Pilot” (download)
1. The Cure, “Lullaby” (download)
I’ve listened to every song I own in my collection — every track to hit the Hot 100, thousands of tracks on the R&B and dance charts, and album after album, but listening to all of these songs pretty thoroughly while writing them up for Bottom Feeders has opened my ears to some tunes I didn’t realize were so good. Two of those are “You Win Again” by the Bee Gees, which I couldn’t stop listening to weeks after I posted it, and “War Games” by Crosby, Stills & Nash, which I listened to repeatedly only after reading your comments on it.
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
Book a seat. David Foster is set to score a new musical about Betty Boop, and the show aims to debut on Broadway in the 2010-2011 season. David Foster has worked on Broadway musicals before – he won a Grammy for his production work on Dreamgirls starring Jennifer Holliday in 1982 – but this will be his debut as a composer. And I may be some sort of Foster expert, but never in a million years would I have predicted that his next career move included Betty Boop. David Foster continues to surprise and amaze us.
This is an appropriate time to bring out some of the weirdest and most unlikely collaborations throughout the recorded history of David Foster, wouldn’t you agree? I’ve been waiting for the right moment and this seems to be it.
Foster has been so eclectic and productive in his career that it’s tempting to assume that nothing he has ever done can come as a surprise at this point. Yet he has specialized in music so firmly planted in the “middle-of-the-road” that it’s hard to convince people he’s actually done anything in his career besides overproducing piano-driven ballads with high-pitched male vocalists and divas.
Of course, faithful readers of this series know better. The Rocky Horror Show and Jaye P. Morgan hardly fit the bill of your average Foster gig. He played on the Wheel of Fortune theme and he co-wrote a song called “Thicke of the Night” with Alan Thicke. Here are a couple of sessions which may make your jaw drop even further. Then again, maybe not — Betty Boop probably did the trick. (more…)
This week you get another extended post so we can finish up the letter F nice and clean. Without further ado, I give you the final batch of artists whose names begin with the sixth letter of the alphabet and who reached the ass end of the Billboard Hot 100 in the ’80s.
Fortune
“Stacy” — 1985, #80 (download)
Fortune is an AOR band formed in Los Angeles in 1977. They released their debut self-titled record in ‘78, had a track called “Airwaves” on the Last American Virgin soundtrack in ‘82, then finally got around to their second album (also self-titled) in ‘85. “Stacy” comes from the second album, which includes a whole mess of generic light-rock tunes.
David Foster
“The Best of Me” — 1986, #80 (download)
“Winter Games” — 1988, #85 (download)
There’s just no way I have it in me to discuss the shittiness of Foster’s duet with Olivia Newton-John, “The Best of Me,” or Foster in general, when Terje Fjelde lives and breathes the guy — read Into the Ear of Madness while listening to these tracks.
4 by Four
“Want You for My Girlfriend” — 1987, #79 (download)
My first thought was 4 by Four simply wanted to be the next New Edition: good-looking kids with slick pop-filled R&B hooks. But I listen to this song and hear a lot of Prince in it as well. Zero in on the 2:20 mark and I swear you’ll hear the first bar of Prince’s “Controversy.”
Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by the man. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.
Jeff, Popdose’s editor-in-chief, has a crush on Jack Wagner. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that (actually, there is, but it’s generally not a good idea to throw rocks from a glass house). But I do fear that my future here at Popdose would be in danger if I failed to mention David Foster’s collaborations with Wagner, so here we go. For those of you who don’t know the man, Jack Wagner is an American singer and television actor who’s graced such classic soap operas as General Hospital and The Bold and the Beautiful as well as the prime-time soap Melrose Place. On occasion he’s even managed to combine his two careers, sculpting magical moments like this, and if that doesn’t bring tears to your eyes I honestly don’t know what will. Wagner is also respected amongst his Hollywood peers for his golfing ability.
“All I Need,” released in 1984, is his only Top 40 hit. It was written and produced by Clif Magness and Glen Ballard, a prolific songwriting team in the ’80s. This post, however, isn’t dedicated to “All I Need” at all, but rather to the follow-up single, “Lady of My Heart,” a blank ballad written by Foster, Ballard, and Jay Graydon that, to my surprise, actually managed to climb all the way up to #76 on the Billboard chart in the spring of ‘85.
“Lady of My Heart,” by Jack Wagner, from All I Need (1984)
It’s incredibly bland — I can’t listen to it without conjuring an image of a snotty high school senior with a Clark Kent hairdo singing his heartfelt rendition in front of his teachers and fellow students toward the end of an episode of Fame after learning a lesson or two about the hard realities of showbiz. Cut to Bruno and Coco smiling knowingly at each other as the end credits appear over the lame freeze-frame.
