Jon: Well, so much for the “civic duty” I believed would guilt the Popdose community into following the political conventions: Even my heretofore partner in blogging crime, Ted Asredagoo, abandoned our noble cause to catch a Waifs concert last night! (You know, Ted, Hootie & the Blowfish played a gig not five miles from my house on Tuesday night, but did I skip out on Hillary’s orange “traveling pantsuit” to catch them? Noooooooo! I thought to myself, Hill, I only wanna be with you…)
Before I introduce our guest analyst for the Bill & Biden show, allow me to note that, after two evenings dominated by women, the Democrats finally let the testosterone flow last night. As a result, there are no women to objectify – except MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell, about whom I always have just one thing to say (even when she’s eight months pregnant): Hubba hubba. So, without further ado, our surprise curmudgeon: Dw. Dunphy!
Dw.: These Democrats sure can talk! Don’t they know I gotta work in the morning? Anyway, it’s my turn to hang out with Jon and the ‘Bots on the Satellite of Love. Dr. Forrester’s evil show for the evening: Bill Clinton and Joe Biden. I’ll make sure I have extra hamdingers at the ready.
Jon: WTF is a hamdinger?
(Editor’s note: Jon, betraying a lack of pop-culture understanding that should get him banned from Popdose forever, apparently is unaware that hamdingers are deviled-ham patties that were sold by the block and often used for fish bait – a fact that is common knowledge to fans of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, as hamdingers played a key role in episode 512 and made a brief appearance in episode 513.)
Jon: What a bunch of dweebs I’m working with here! (Hey! I just figured out what that pretentious “Dw.” thing is all about.) Last night Ted blew 200 words on Vulcans, and now I have to deal with MST3K? (more…)
Ted: I gotta say, he looks like a Vulcan … who’s also a motivational speaker (if that’s possible). (Pause) He is a Vulcan! His speech is called “The Race for the Future,” and we all know that in the future Zefram Cochrane develops the first Warp engine and the Vulcans are there after the first launch. I think Mark has been sent back in time by the Vulcans to push humanity toward the Star Trek future.
Jon: Well, I dunno … Warner’s got rounded ears. It’s been a looooong time since I could make a Star Trek reference, so I’m just gonna stick with “space alien.” You can get as specific as you like. I still think Warner will be president in 2016. Did you see those daughters of his? They look like future first-daughter material.