SHE’S A MODERN GIRL (na na na na na)

Back in the neon-colored days of the ’80s, Sheena Easton ruled the Adult Contemporary charts with a well-manicured fist. Sheena first began her ascension to fame on the BBC television show The Big Time, a documentary-style program chronicling an unknown singer’s attempt to achieve success in the music industry. Sheena was selected as the program’s subject based on her talent and her potential to become a singing star. EMI Records believed in her enough to give her a recording contract and a producer. Sheena spent the next several months being followed by cameras as she set out to create her very first single, “Modern Girl.”

Despite the television exposure, it wasn’t until “9 to 5,” Sheena’s second UK single, that her career finally started to take off. The song went to #3 on the UK charts, prompting its release in other countries. “9 to 5″ was renamed “Morning Train” in the U.S. to avoid confusion with Dolly Parton’s song of the same name. Regardless of its name, “Morning Train” went all the way to #1 in the U.S. “Modern Girl” was re-released in the UK after an initially disappointing debut and eventually climbed into the Top 10. “Modern Girl” was released as her second U.S. single and topped out at #18. Within months the Scottish newcomer had two huge hits on the charts in multiple countries. These accomplishments were followed by the Academy Award-nominated James Bond theme “For Your Eyes Only” which peaked at #4 in the U.S. and #8 in the UK. All of this led to a well-deserved Grammy for Best New Artist of 1981.

SHE’S GOT THE LOOK

Unlike many other Grammy winners, the supposed “Best New Artist jinx” didn’t seem to apply to Sheena. She continued to deliver numerous hits throughout the rest of the ’80s and into the ’90s. In 1983 she landed several huge hits, including the dance track “Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair),” the #1 country/pop duet with Kenny Rogers, “We’ve Got Tonight” (a Bob Seger cover) and “Almost Over You,” which rose to the top of the Adult Contemporary charts.

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LOCATION: Anytown, USA
TIME: The Early ’80’s

A young, burgeoning music fan has got to start somewhere. This is the brief, snappily-written story of how a young man with a quick wit and a smart answer for everything began his slow, steady evolution into a full-fledged music obsessive.

MAGNIFICENT OBSESSIONS

The time was 1981 and the popular music scene was having its own personal identity crisis. Disco was now officially “dead,” much to the delight of so many mullet-sporting, air guitar-playing music elitists. The reality is that disco was not actually dead, but was certainly on life support. After being embraced (and then abruptly abandoned) by the mainstream, it had boogied its way back underground to the black and gay clubs from whence it came. However, to anyone listening to Top 40 radio, it certainly seemed like the roof was no longer on fire. The newest British invasion had yet to come into full swing and New Wave was still a few minutes from its global takeover of radio stations and video channels.

None of this was apparent to an 11-year-old boy living in a small town next door to nowhere. He was also having his own identity crisis, at least musically. Not knowing or caring what was hip, cool or contemporary, he began to devour anything and everything that was spinning on the radio. He spent countless hours watching badly-dressed artists flash across his television screen every week on American Bandstand, Soul Train and Solid Gold. They were filling up his life with music, putting rhythm in his soul. He was informed by a schoolmate and fellow music junkie that a small independent record store was located in the mall just one town over. After gathering together a list of songs that he just had to have, he made that first fateful trip to his future home away from home.

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TWO TONS O’ TALENT

San Francisco’s Martha Wash and Izora Rhodes first rose to fame in 1977 as Two Tons O’ Fun, background singers of choice for drag-tastic disco diva and ’70’s icon Sylvester. The plus-size gospel shouters — paired with the eccentric, electric Sylvester — were one of the most distinctive acts of the disco era. The ladies were hot and Sylvester was flaming. Sylvester is quoted in his album liner notes as saying “These girls can sing, y’all,” and indeed they could.

Martha and Izora appeared on numerous Sylvester albums including Living Proof, Do You Wanna Funk and Too Hot To Sleep. They can be heard wailing on many of Sylvester’s ’70s dance classics, including the infamous “(You Make Me Feel) Mighty Real” and “Dance (Disco Heat).” Everything about them was big: their voices, their determination, their hairdos, and most of all, their talent. This made for a thrilling dance/soul combination. When the ’70’s came to a rousing close, the girls were busting out to go solo.

TWO TONS O’ FUN

As the ’80’s emerged, so did Two Tons O’ Fun’s solo career. In 1980 the group released their self-titled debut album for the Fantasy label. They were smart enough to bring Sylvester’s producer Harvey Fuqua along for the ride. Now a much sought-after fan favorite, the album contains several underrated dance/soul confections.

There was a heavy dose of gospel wrapped up in their powerful sound. Martha could raise her voice to the heavens and beyond, while Izora could make the earth rumble with her deep, gritty growl. The album spun off two huge club hits, including “Earth Can Be Just Like Heaven” which promptly went to #2 on the dance charts. Martha and Izora had established themselves as a vocal force like no other.

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WHAM! BAM!

Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou seemed an unlikely choice to become a pop music superstar. However, after meeting schoolmate Andrew Ridgeley and forming a group called Wham!, a pop star is exactly what the rechristened George Michael became. They were young guns and they were going for it. Beginning in 1982, Wham! spun off massive hits in a variety of genres, including shimmering pop, uptempo dance, slow, sensual ballads, and even rap. Serving as charismatic lead singer and cunning songwriter, George quickly eclipsed the group itself. After achieving massive success around the world, Wham! went Bam! and chose to disband so that George could be free of what he felt were the group’s musical limitations.

YA GOTTA HAVE . . .

Expectations were running high for George’s inevitable solo career. However, nobody could have predicted just how supersonic his career was about to become. As a precursor to his debut album, the controversial single “I Want Your Sex” was released in 1987 and immediately garnered huge acclaim, as well as widespread criticism for its overt themes. With one song, it became clear that this was the new George Michael. No more feathered hair or day-glo casual wear, kids.

The album Faith followed and quickly took George’s career into the stratosphere. A seemingly endless series of hit singles and smoke-filled videos followed while the album bulldozed its way to mega-platinum status. George Michael was now officially a pop music God. Arguably, his only real rivals in that arena were the guy with the one glove and that girl who rolled around on the floor in a wedding dress. Esteemed company, indeed.

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A TENNESSEE GODDESS

Dolly Rebecca Parton has had one of the most enduring and multi-faceted careers in music history. She is beloved for her iconic status as a pop culture legend as well as for her unmatched singing and songwriting abilities.

Dolly has moved effortlessly from country music to pop music and back again. Her forays into television with The Porter Wagoner Show as well as hit films such as 9 To 5 and Steel Magnolias, established her ability to sail across not only musical genres but also separate and distinct forms of entertainment. She seemed to reveal even more of her outsize talents with every endeavor.

COMING HOME

After nearly 60 albums, Dolly found herself in the same precarious situation as many other veteran country artists. She had been pushed aside and dropped from youth-obsessed country radio stations and their generic computer-generated playlists. Deciding that she was better off being true to herself rather than chasing after hits, she returned fully to her mountain roots and embraced the sound and history of bluegrass music. Critics and fans alike heralded a trio of releases on Sugar Hill Records in conjunction with Dolly’s own imprint, Blue Eye Records.

THE GRASS IS BLUE

Released in October of 1999, The Grass Is Blue is the first of three glorious bluegrass excursions. Dolly’s vocal performances are among the most energetic and soulful of her career and prove that this genre of music truly brings out the best in her considerable talents. Her choice of material is eclectic to say the least but that only serves to make the album that much more involving. You never quite know how she’ll interpret each song. Producer Steve Buckingham has stockpiled the band with world-class musicians including Stuart Duncan on fiddle and Bryan Sutton on guitar. Vocal harmonies are handled by none other than the divine Alison Krauss & Patty Loveless. To say that Dolly and her producer knew who to recruit for this record is a vast understatement. Despite, or perhaps because of, this illustrious company, Dolly still manages to shine brighter than anyone else. (more…)

“IS THAT GIRL SINGING AT THE MALL?”
Yes, she was. In 1987, Tiffany Darwish unleashed her self-titled debut album upon a world of dazed and confused teenagers swathed in stone-washed jeans, Day-Glo colors, and teased hair. Searching for unique publicity, she promoted her album by singing at shopping malls across America. Thousands of new fans fell in love with Tiffany at the food court.

Her first single, a peppy remake of Tommy James & the Shondells’ “I Think We’re Alone Now,” became a surprise number one hit. Tiffany was soon launched into stardom along with fellow teen titans like Debbie Gibson and Tracie Spencer.

A second single quickly followed: the earnest but cheese-tastic ballad “Could’ve Been.” Then another cover appeared, this time a gender-flipped take on the Beatles with “I Saw Him Standing There.” It was Tiffany’s perceived blasphemy toward the Fab Four that earned her blistering scorn from so-called “true” rock fans. She was never given proper credit for having a good voice or for working a denim jacket like nobody’s business.

THERE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE ANYONE AROUND
Just when it seemed that the hits would keep coming, Tiffany’s career took a wrong turn. Her second album, 1988’s Hold an Old Friend’s Hand, produced only one real hit, “All This Time.” During a subsequent concert tour her popularity quickly began to fade. She was informed that her opening act, New Kids on the Block, would be replacing her as the headliner and that she would be opening for them instead. Ouch! It seemed to be the beginning of the end of a brief career.

In 1990 Tiffany attempted to recover, and released the ill-advised “New Jill Swing” album New Inside. The general consensus of critics and even devoted fans was that it was contrived and robotic. New Inside bombed quickly and loudly. It was all but over for a singer who’d never truly been taken seriously; having her young fan base grow older and abandon her didn’t help. Tiffany’s radio romance had officially ended.

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The early musical output of popular artists is the stuff of semi-legend and fan obsession — Aretha Franklin’s Columbia recordings, Little Richard the blues singer, Madonna’s New York demos, and … Cyndi Lauper, retro chick?

BLUE ANGEL GETS ITS WINGS
Formed in 1977, Blue Angel featured John Turi on keyboards and saxophone, Arthur Neilson on guitar, Lee Brovitz on bass guitar, Johnny Morelli on drums and a certain Cynthia Ann Lauper throwing down major lead vocals. Bringing a full-on retro-rockabilly/girl-group vibe, Blue Angel were wrapped in a rapturous love for well-crafted early ’60s pop and rock. Groups with a similar aesthetic, such as some early B-52’s, also come to mind. Blue Angel, however, were much more easily appreciated than many other groups of their kind — making it all the more baffling that they were not nearly as successful as their counterparts. Where were the pop, new wave, and rock fans of the time who were screaming for something new and fresh?

Cyndi and bandmate John Turi wrote much of the group’s material. True to their roots, they also covered pop standards both on record and during their local New York club concerts. Cyndi and company would regularly deliver raw, rocking renditions of Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog,” Little Richard’s “Keep On Knocking,” and the Connie Francis confection “Lipstick on Your Collar.” It was a testament to their emerging talent that they could equal and sometimes surpass the fun of the originals. They were wildly popular in the clubs, where they even had one of their local concerts broadcast on the radio. It was looking like nothing but blue skies for Blue Angel. (more…)

I’m DJ D from Retro Remixes, and this is my shiny new column, fresh out of the bubble wrap. Pop! Pop! Pop!

This feature, a spin-off of my blog, will appear once in a great while, much like a Stevie Wonder album, then flame out as quickly as Michael Jackson’s hair during a Pepsi commercial. It’s called “Future Retro” because it’ll deal mainly with lesser-known releases from your favorite and your most-hated old-school artists. I’ll keep you posted on what they’ve been up to since they faded from the spotlight or what level they’ve sunk to in order to bolster a sagging career. Many of these artists were actually still sober at the time they recorded their more recent records, but some, sadly, were not. I’ll also focus on classic albums that have been reissued for the enjoyment of devoted fans and not — repeat, not — to line the pockets of greedy record executives.

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