Donny Osmond »
Unsolicited Career Advice for … Rush
This is a memo written in 1977 to the Canadian management of Rush. If pictures from this period are any indication, Uncle Donnie had taken to sporting a green Mohawk for at least several
Read More »Death by Power Ballad: Bonnie Tyler, “Lovers Again”
Back in her late-70s, “It’s a Heartache” period, gravelly voiced Bonnie Tyler was viewed chiefly as Rod Stewart with a vagina (a designation many have claimed simply describes Stewart himself). When that dubious crown
Read More »Unsolicited Career Advice for … Rick James
Just because you extol the virtues of super freaky girls...and you're dead...doesn't mean Uncle Donnie can't give you a little advice, does it
Read More »You Again?: Michael Bolton, “One World, One Love”
Some albums defy the usual judgments of good or bad—they’re just wrong. I’m thinking of Liz Phair’s major label records (with the exception of the chorus of “Extraordinary”); or Sonny Bono’s post-divorce nervous breakdown
Read More »Death by Power Ballad: Bon Jovi, “Silent Night”
Had Bon Jovi been killed in a horrific, fiery airplane crash in 1985, we would remember them much differently than we do today. Had they experienced a painful, flesh-melting demise prior to recording 1986’s
Read More »Unsolicited Career Advice for … Courtney Love
Yeah, sure, Courtney Love might seem like she has it all together -- but Rob Smith's Uncle Donnie Skwatzenschitz sees through that put-together facade, and he's reaching out with a plan
Read More »CD Review: Built to Spill, “There Is No Enemy”
Built to Spill, There is No Enemy (2009, Warner Bros.) Purchase this album (Amazon) If Doug Martsch sang like Dave Grohl, Rivers Cuomo, or even Thom Yorke, Built to Spill would be huge, arena-packin’
Read More »Unsolicited Career Advice for … Donny Osmond
It's time for more unsolicited career advice from Don Skwatzenschitz, and this week, he's trying to help a furloughed Soldier of Love
Read More »Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 65
In this week's Bottom Feeders, Dave Steed takes us through a decade's worth of chart-scraping tracks from acts whose names start with the letter O -- and learns the hard way that no one
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