Yesterday was a special day in Bootleg City. Every September 10 — or “One After 909,” as some folks call it — we celebrate Beatle Day, which kicks off early in the morning with one of the fabled creatures emerging from beneath a stack of old records to poke his head into the sunlight. (”Good day, sunshine,” the Beatle always says. It’s so freakin’ adorable.) If he doesn’t see his shadow, his group’s music will finally be made available online. The problem is, he always sees his shadow. Bootleg City could really use some overcast days this time of the year.
The loss of that online income has to be taking its toll on the two surviving Beatles, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, especially in this economy, which is why I extended an invitation to both of them to stay on my couch until the global recession is over. Each one responded by sending me a $10,000 couch. Spending money you don’t have — it’s a real sickness. And where the hell am I going to put these gigantic couches in my one-bedroom apartment?
The following tracks come from the bootleg “Rarer Than Rare,” with information about recording dates, concert locations, and other assorted Beatlemania minutiae included in the comments section of each MP3 file. Audio quality varies from track to track, but it’s the Beatles — what have you ever done for them?
More to the point, what have you ever done for me? Oh, by the way, I’ve got a couple of couches I need to unload. Each one costs $20,000. (You heard me …) And don’t say you can’t afford it, because those credit-card companies wouldn’t send you all those offers if they didn’t want you to use their money. Think about it. I haven’t.
