Hello again, folks! Last time we met, we reviewed a pretty awesome chart from June of 1975. Well, since I choose these charts pretty much at random, you had to know it was inevitable that our luck might not hold out. Or did it? I’ll be interested in hearing what you think — let’s take a look at the pop-filled chart for the week ending July 19, 1986!
10. Love Touch — Rod Stewart Amazon iTunes
9. Your Wildest Dreams — The Moody Blues Amazon iTunes
8. There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) — Billy Ocean Amazon iTunes
7. Glory of Love — Peter Cetera Amazon iTunes
6. Who’s Johnny — El DeBarge Amazon iTunes
5. Holding Back the Years — Simply Red Amazon iTunes
4. Danger Zone — Kenny Loggins Amazon iTunes
3. Nasty — Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
2. Sledgehammer — Peter Gabriel Amazon iTunes
1. Invisible Touch — Genesis Amazon iTunes
10. Love Touch — Rod Stewart
Even in 1986, how did Rod Stewart keep a straight face when singing the line “I’m gonna give you my love touch”? No, even worse, let’s look at the middle of the song, where Rod actually sings “Oooh, you’re gonna get a/oooh, you’re gonna get a big love touch.” That’s the worst of the bunch. “A big love touch”? Shame on you, Rod. I’d even take you making love to the camera a la “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” over this dreck. And who had the idea for steel drums? What a terrible idea! Although I think it’d be fun to go to the Bahamas and ask a traditional steel drum band if they know “Love Touch.” (C’mon, do we really need to hear them play Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” yet again?)
All this being said…for some inexplicable reason, I like the chorus of this song. (Well, up until he says the words “love” and “touch,” anyway.) I specifically love the line “Just gimme a chance!” because of the way he pronounces “chance.” It sounds like Harry Caray.
This is the first of four songs on this week’s chart taken from a movie soundtrack. This one in particular is from Legal Eagles, and some brilliant director decided to set the (awful) video in a courtroom, inserting scenes from the movie featuring Robert Redford, Debra Winger and Daryl Hannah. Fortunately, all three actors had the good sense to not make themselves available for the video, unlike another certain movie star…well, you’ll see.
(1975)
(2001)
(2006)
(1999)
(1980)
(1986)
(1970)
(1989)
(1991)
(1984)
(2008)
(2005)
(1974)
Collins, of course, was a hugely successful solo artist in the ’80s as well as the lead singer and drummer for Genesis, which made its name with progressive rock in the ’70s but shifted its focus to radio-friendly pop the following decade, scoring five top-ten hits alone with its 1986 album Invisible Touch. Collins has taken his fair share of abuse over the years for the earworms he’s created, with “Sussudio” showing up on many “worst songs of the ’80s” lists.
(2005)
(2003)
(2000)
(1990)
(2005)
(1971)
(2005)
(1965)
(1985)
(2005)
(2006)
(2001)
(2005)
(1998)
(2002)
A funny thing happened in the middle of the 1990s: Record labels looked into their vaults and found that most of their best selling titles had been in circulation for awhile on CD and, as one would expect, weren’t as exciting to the buying public anymore. Remember that in the initial run of the compact disc labels were suddenly flush with cash, old assets were getting new sales life and all was right with the world. Once they had reached the tipping point where most consumers had CDs of Rumours, Dark Side of the Moon, Sgt. Pepper’s, etc., they had a crucial decision to make. Shall we now go out into the great, wide world of new music acts and fill our rosters with exciting, up and coming talent?
