Posts Tagged ‘Hall & Oates’

Unsolicited Career Advice for … John Oates

It’s interesting to note that, regardless of what he did in the music industry (and what he did is still lost on me) or how much power he was able to wield, Uncle Donnie never got jaded, never lost his enthusiasm as a fan.  Flipping through his correspondence, I am reminded constantly of his deep and abiding love for certain artists, among them Root Boy Slim, the Shaggs, and Billy Squier.  Add to this distinguished list a certain Philly native, as evidenced by the following memo, dated October, 1982. -RS

TO: Oates
FROM: Don Skwatzenschitz
RE: Career advice

This afternoon, I heard the future of blue-eyed soul music, and its name was, simply, Oates. Now, I recall seeing you and the blonde guy on stages in various clubs, soup kitchens, and department store openings back eight, ten, twelve years ago. Even then, I listened to you and thought I was hearing the second coming of the Righteous Brothers (this was years before you actually covered  “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling, ” which blew away the original, particularly the  “Baby, baby, I’d get down on my knees for you ” breakdown). In you, my wee friend, I found the new Bill Medley. Of course, Bill was a tall, clean-shaven guy with straight hair and you’re a short, mustachioed fella with curly hair. That’s where the differences end, little buddy.

So what piqued my interest this afternoon? Well, I put on that brand-spankin’-new album H2O and heard my hairy-lipped paisano (that would be you) sing the next Number One record in the country— “Italian Girls. “ Amazing. I don’t know how you do it. Yes, you had me hooked with  “I’m Just A Kid (Don’t Make Me Feel Like A Man). “ You made me cry—weep, just like a little girl—with  “Crazy Eyes. “ I practically melted when you sang  “The Emptyness “ in ‘77 (even though you spelled it wrong). But  “Italian Girls “—with that  “Faccia bella cara mia ” refrain? I am your servant, Oates. Now and always.  Use me to do thy bidding. (more…)

How Bad Can It Be?: “Live from Daryl’s House”

Let it be said, for starters, that Daryl Hall has a really nice house. It’s a rambling old place, somewhere in rural Pennsylvania. He needs to do something with the landscaping — the place is set way back from the road, on a hill, surrounded by a huge, bare open lot, and like a lot of mini-mansions it looks like it fell out of the sky — but the interior is beautiful; lots of exposed brick and beam, warm, dark wood tones, comfortably cluttered and tastefully appointed. In the web show “Live from Daryl’s House,” we don’t see much more of the place than the rec room-slash-home studio (of which more later) and the massive eat-in kitchen, but it looks like a gorgeous blend of traditional and modern. In one, Hall mentions that the basic structure dates back to the 18th Century; the entire house has been extensively remodeled and relocated.

Not unlike Daryl Hall’s face, actually. If you haven’t paid much attention to Hall & Oates lately — and let’s face it, why should you? — you may be surprised to note that Daryl has… well, he’s had some work done. The eye job is the most obvious change, but a side-by-side comparison shows an odd lengthening of the chin, as if all his facial features have migrated slightly northward. It might be a face-lift gone awry, or a bone-distorting disease like acromegaly; in any case, if this keeps up, Daryl Hall will eventually resemble Rondo Hatton.

My first concert was a Hall and Oates show, back in the ’80s, before Daryl began his slow metamorphosis into the Creeper. I hitched a ride with my friend Stu to a hockey rink in the desolate ass-end of Massachusetts for one of the shows on the Big Bam Boom tour. I only went because I wanted to see the opening act (I was a music snob even then), but the show was a perfectly satisfying pop product; the band was tight and solid and consistent, bopping along like a pizza-parlor jukebox. What struck me about Daryl Hall that night, though — as in all the H&O concert footage of the period — is the disproportionate effort he was putting in. He was in constant nervous motion, bouncing and mugging and shimmying beneath his extravagant mullet, oversinging and overselling every song, trying to inject a streetwise jive into the material — which was pretty shopworn, even then. Occasionally, he even succeeded; but man, was he over the top.
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Lists You Didn’t Ask For: Consumer Safety Edition

Earlier this month New York attorney general Andrew Cuomo reported that he had sent his staff to 1,000 pharmacies across the state in March, April, and May and found more than 250 that were selling expired milk, eggs, baby formula, and over-the-counter medication. The two biggest culprits were the CVS and Rite Aid chains. So what else have these drugstores not been telling consumers?

1. CVS-brand sparkling water gets its sparkle from Darfurian children’s tears. (White Lion, “When the Children Cry” [download])

2. That lawn chair you bought in the “seasonal” aisle? Someone had sex on it. (The Band, “Rockin’ Chair” [download])

3. Whenever you bought an impulse item at the front counter in 2000 and 2004, your name was added to a GOP database of potential swing voters most likely to vote for George W. Bush. (Everything But the Girl, “Politics Aside” [download])

4. Expired baby formula mixed with expired teeth whitener will totally get you high. (Glen Phillips, “I Want a New Drug” [download])

5. The security camera adds 25 pounds. (Joe Henry, “Fat” [download])

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