Researchers suggested that homosexuality in men may be an evolutionary advantage if it is caused by a set of “feminizing” genes and if men who carry sub-critical numbers of those genes are rendered more sensitive and therefore less likely to kill their own offspring. Gays and lesbians were found to have the most masculine and feminine voices among men and women, respectively, and people with sexy voices were found to have more symmetrical, attractive features. Devo, “Jocko Homo”

Biologists dated the emergence of vocal sounds to 400 million years ago by studying the gruntings of male toadfish and midshipmanfish, both of which hum deeply to attract females and growl threateningly to ward off rivals. The Band, “We Can Talk”

Scientists discovered a sexually deceptive orchid so convincing that male wasps will mate with it to the point of ejaculation. Because unfertilized female wasps can produce sons but not daughters, the orchids on which the wasps waste their sperm will eventually create a larger population of male wasps to pollinate them. Joe Henry, “Mean Flower”

It was determined that male bees prefer sex with Ophrys orchids to sex with female bees, that straight men with attractive partners have more sex not because the partners are attractive but to discourage infidelity, and that men who are deceitful, narcissistic thrill-seekers also have more sex. Pat Benatar, “Sex As a Weapon”

Scientists discovered that watermelon rinds possess a Viagra-like chemical and were hoping to breed a race of aphrodisiac super-melons wherein the flesh, too, will possess the chemical. Brazilian researchers may have created human sperm cells by injecting pulp from the teeth of human babies into the testicles of mice, and sensory analysts created the perfect cheese sandwich. Computers are now better than people at air hockey. U2, “Even Better Than the Real Thing”

Light-carbon isotopes uncovered in Australia’s Jack Hills suggest that life may have existed on Earth in the Hadean eon, predating the Late Heavy Bombardment — after which life is commonly thought to have arisen — by several hundred million years. Underwater volcanism was blamed for the Late Cretaceous Anoxic Event that wiped out most marine life; a team of paleontologists found that there have been only three major mass extinctions in the past 540 million years, not five; and geologists correlated every mass extinction in that period with rising sea levels. Juliana Hatfield, “Dying Proof”

The world was about to run out of the elements gallium, hafnium, and indium. Zinc will not disappear until 2037. Boogie Down Productions, “Elementary”

Toxic clouds from Africa were threatening Caribbean coral reefs, the North Pole was forecast to have its first ice-free summer in recorded history, the Wilkins Ice Shelf was splitting off from Antarctica, and the world’s penguins were dying out. Scott Miller and the Commonwealth, “Goddamn the Sun” (live)

In space, the Earth’s shrieking could be heard; Mars’s soil, said chemists, will support asparagus. Yes, “Universal Garden”

Scientists discovered that eating blueberries and having friends are good for the memory and that pregnancy and smoking are bad for it. Nautiluses can remember useful things, but only for a day, whereas cuttlefish, which are much more sophisticated cephalopods, observe and form preferences for their future prey when they are still embryos. (Robert Plant, “Memory Song” [download])

Swiss biologists determined that stupid flies live longer than smart flies because intelligence wears out flies’ brains, and Canadian researchers said that straining to recall information on the tip of the tongue makes us learn our mistaken guesses rather than the correct answers we eventually remember. (Paul Carrack, “Tip of My Tongue” [download])

Strokes were found to generate depolarization waves that spread outward from the affected area and damage other parts of the brain. Geologists reported that large earthquakes often trigger other seismic events in distant parts of the world; a Franco-Turkish team of seismologists found that the hypersonic energy pulses unleashed by supershear earthquakes may awaken dormant faults nearby; and massive-slow-motion ice-quakes were shaking the West Antarctic Ice Sheet twice a day. (The Grateful Dead, “Ripple” [download]) (more…)

A selection of “Findings” from the back page of Harper’s Magazine, June 2008.

A genetic variation affecting two thirds of East Asian men might allow them to take performance-enhancing testosterone undetected, a study found. As yet there exists only anecdotal evidence that Chinese, Japanese, and Korean athletes are more successful at cheating. (Randy Newman, “Yellow Man” [download])

Biologists warned that woody plants were poised to invade China, and phytologists in Europe confirmed that invasive Chinese black truffles threaten Perigord black truffles with extinction through interbreeding. (Woody Guthrie, “This Land Is Your Land” [download])

Scientists found that the DNA of platypuses comprises bird, mammal, and reptile genes, and that the Amazon molly fish has been reproducing asexually for 70,000 years but has avoided the rapid genetic deterioration associated with asexual vertebrates by stealing the DNA of its sister species. (Tears for Fears, “God’s Mistake” [download])

Australian biologists discovered that subordinate gobie fish restrict their eating so as not to grow large enough to threaten dominant fish, and primatologists found that subordinate female macaques, stressed from constant harassment by dominant females, tend to eat too much calorie-rich food. An overweight English hedgehog was reported to have lost weight on the Atkins diet. (The Staple Singers, “The Weight” [download])

Women who consume bananas before conception are more likely to bear boys. (Sparks, “Dick Around” [download])

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A selection of “Findings” from the back page of Harper’s Magazine, June 2008.

Scottish scientists found that women are instinctively attracted to the faces of men who want long-term relationships, whereas men are instinctively attracted to the faces of women who want one-night stands; French bio-statisticians declared Caucasian women to be more attractive than Caucasian men; a computer learned to identify beauty in Caucasian women; and a team of European sexologists reported that 40 percent of Italian couples were not having sex, due in part to Italian men’s declining sex drive and growing predilection for prostitutes and cybersex. (The Bar-Kays, “Sexomatic [12" Mix]” [download])

Students exposed to subliminal Apple logos were found to answer questions more creatively than subjects exposed to subliminal IBM logos.

Marine biologists revealed that male Abdopus aculeatus octopuses may strangle to death rivals in defending the females whom they have seduced by swimming in a feminine manner, and paleontologists discovered that sexual reproduction first appeared about 600 million years ago among tube-shaped creatures living in spats on the seafloor. The gonorrhea bacterium was determined to be the strongest organism in existence. (Yeasayer, “Germs” [download]) (more…)