Posts Tagged ‘Jack Blades’

Bootleg City: Night Ranger in Los Angeles, September ‘85

This holiday season will offer you 7 Wishes. But what will you wish for first?

Will it be the Jack Blades posable action figure? Dressed in authentic Midnight Madness-era stage attire, this incredibly lifelike replica of Night Ranger®’s bassist-vocalist comes preloaded with seven Jack Blades catchphrases. Pull his string and you’ll hear these unforgettable classics:

“You can stiiiiiilllll ROCK in Amer-i-caaaaaa!”

“DON’T tell me you love meeeeeee!”

“Looks like what you need right now is a TOUCH of mad-ness!”

“You still got some more RAWK left in you to-night?”

Plus three more exciting Blade-isms, all delivered by the unstoppable Jack Blades! (Requires two AA batteries to start. Batteries not included.)

But wait — there’s more!

New for the holidays, Dawn Patrol Toys is pleased to unveil the first-ever Alan “Fitz” Fitzgerald action figure. Modeled after Night Ranger®’s legendary keyboard player, often referred to as ”the original Silent Bob,” Fitz comes with his own miniature synthesizer, shades, and beret.

And you’ll be lookin’ extra cool wearing the bonus pair of signature Alan “Fitz” Fitzgerald aviator sunglasses. These super boss blockers are a replica reproduction of the snazzy specs Fitz wore onstage at every single Night Ranger® gig as well as when he played keyboards behind the curtain for Sammy Hagar-era Van Halen. Finally, your chance to look mysteriously cool without having to say a single word!

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The Steel Horse Archives: Damn Yankees, “Where You Goin’ Now?” (1992)

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631b828fd7a08c190e430110.L[1]Damn Yankees
Title: “Where You Goin’ Now?”
Album: Don’t Tread
Release Date: 1992

Why You Remember Them: For a guy who expends so much effort trying to sustain an image as such a carnivorous, twitchy Amurcan, Ted Nugent is responsible for an unusually high amount of sissypants cotton-candy girl songs, many of which delivered by a band inexplicably named after a vivacious Broadway musical. To call Damn Yankees a “supergroup” would imply a world where that word could include someone from Night Ranger, yet here we are: Aside from Nugent, the group included Styx’s Tommy Shaw, looking like the Eurythmics dude that wasn’t Annie Lennox (what? too soon?), Night Ranger’s Jack Blades and Michael Cartellone, one of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s 400 drummers but a guy who had the sense to forge a second career in painting. “Where You Goin’ Now” isn’t even the Damn Yankees song most often played as the soundtrack to trembling hands fumbling their way around bra straps in the early ’90s — that would be the execrable “High Enough” — but thinking that the last two songs anyone gave a damn about were these would probably turn me into a goofball hunter/reality-show cartoon too.

Album Sales To Date: The band’s self-titled debut went double-platinum in 1990; Don’t Tread went platinum? Really? Jesus wept. (more…)

Death by Power Ballad: Tommy Shaw, “Lonely School”

Maybe eight or ten years ago, if you’d wanted to make some pretty decent money on a minimal investment, all you had to do was find a CD copy of Styx guitarist Tommy Shaw’s 1984 solo debut, Girls with Guns, at a yard sale or in the used bins at your local strip mall record store (you remember them, don’t you?), then turn around and put the copy on eBay.  I once saw a one go for upwards of $200, and it made me longingly recall the time I saw a $10 used GwG at the Keystone Music Exchange and didn’t pull the trigger on the purchase.  And my fists shake with rage at the memory once again.

“Lonely School” was the second single off the record, a follow-up to the album’s more raucous title track, and it’s notable for containing just about every element that Shaw hated in Dennis DeYoung’s music, the primary reason he left Styx.  It’s a keyboard-heavy tune, for one thing; the guitars (Shaw’s stock in trade) mainly provide bits of color here and there, until the solo break after the second chorus.  There are key changes aplenty — into and out of every chorus, to be exact — which serve to adhere the verses to the chorus with a kind of musical Elmer’s or Scotch tape.  The background vocals —”ooh’s” and “ah’s,” mostly, give the overall track a kind of Mr. Mister-ish feel (a full year or two before any of us had heard of Mr. Mister.  Then again, I’ve never seen Tommy Shaw and Richard Page in the same room.  Hmmm …).

(Oh, and ignore the tom-tom percussion that opens the song; no one in rock should be allowed to use the things, with the exception of Neil Peart, who makes them sound like a hailstorm, a headhunter block party, and the march of an advancing army, because he’s Neil-fucking-Peart.)

In truth, “Lonely School” lacks any obvious full-on rawk bombast, the kind Shaw was exposed to daily in Styx and would absolutely master with Damn Yankees (”High Enough,” anyone?  Huh?  No takers?  Bummer).  Indeed, one might be tempted to wonder what’s so powerful about this particular ballad.

In one word: potential.

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