Regular readers of Popdose will know that we’re kind of obsessed with Al Jarreau. Who could possibly forget Al Jarreau Week back in March? So when we heard that good ol’ Al was releasing a Christmas album, how could we resist?  And yet, all we wish is that we resisted.

Al Jarreau — White Christmas (download)

From Christmas Amazon iTunes

Jeff: Where the hell is the scatting?

Jason: I just did a little over here. Actually, that opening is kind of nice.

Jeff: It’s beautiful, but I want scatting.

Jason: I bet the groove is going to happen any minute now. Hang on…

Jeff: Oh no.

Jason: Oh shit! What the fuck!

Jeff: Never mind scatting — where the hell is the melody? Al, what have you done with the melody?

Jason: How did he just pronounce the words “I’m” and “white”?

Jeff: I think Winamp is broken. This is much too slow.

Jason: No, it’s on my end too. Let me throw my laptop across the room. Maybe that’ll fix the problem.  Actually, that would TOTALLY fix the problem.

Jeff: I also think he sampled some Bob James keyboards from 1986.

Jason: He just ad-libbed a little.

Jeff: “A-white.”

Jason: “A white, a white Christmas!” Yup!

Jeff: Does he sound drunk to you? He sounds a little drunk to me.

Falsetto!

Jason: I’m listening to the bass now. I’m betting the bass player is getting a hummer.

Jeff: Doo doo doo doo be white…

Jason: There’s your scatting!

Jeff: YES! This is the mellowest fucking scatting I have ever heard.

Jason: SCAT AWAY, MUTHAFUCKA!

Jeff: SYNTHMONICA!!!

Jason: KEYTAR!!! That’s DEFINITELY a keytar!

Jeff: Oh, this is dreadful.

Jason: That sound is almost on loan from “What’s Love Got to Do With It”!

Jeff: Glissando!

Jason: I’m dreaming of a world where Al Jarreau stops singing.

Jeff: Dude, he didn’t even pronounce the “wh” in “white” in that last line. I swear to God he’s drunk. Or stoned.

Jason: When my wife heard this, she said “Al Jarreau surrounds himself with too many ‘yes’ men.”

Jeff: Having interviewed him, I believe this was probably Al’s idea.

Jason: Big finish. Oh wait! No! There are two minutes left!

Jeff: What? Two minutes? No. Can’t be.

Jason: Jesus, he sounds like the Cryptkeeper. Synthmonica returns!

Jeff: I love how he looks like he’s freezing to death on the cover.

Jason: Does Al ever pose for anything without his mouth open? I’m just curious.

Jeff: Maybe his nose doesn’t work.

Jason: He wants your Christmases to be JINGLE BELLS, CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

Jeff: Jingle bells, Christmas carols, children wishing…he’s just throwing the holiday phone book now.

Jason: I wonder if Wexford Carol will be mentioned next!

Jeff: I’m not sure we’d be able to tell that’s what he was saying. It’d probably sound something like ix-faaaaaaaah…

Jason: This groove definitely needs to be disturbed.

Jeff: Al’s just fucking around…and now he goes wandering out the studio door.

Jason: Looking for change. And I don’t mean, like, Obama change. I mean, like nickels.

Jeff: Or more Ambien. He really does look like he might be begging for change on that cover.

Jason: Who buys this stuff? Am I just too white?

Jeff: That’s an excellent question.

Jason: Because I can’t imagine listening to this, and being like, “…and NOW we’re groovin’.”

Jeff: Maybe with enough white wine…

…Nah.

Jason: Maybe if you slipped a roofie in it.

Jeff: I was hoping Al would give us something funky for Christmas.

Jason: I’d love to see some footage of him recording this stuff. I bet he makes some great faces.

Jeff: I’m looking right now.

Jason: Yeah, so am I. No luck so far.

Jeff: This is bullshit. Well, at least there’s the official Al Jarreau Christmas e-card. We can send it to everyone reading this.

Jason: Let’s do that. Let’s share it with everyone. Why should we suffer through this god-awful holiday alone?

Jeff: Merry Jarreaumas, fuckers!

Jason: Ha! Jarreaumas! That sounds like an inflammation. I have Jarreaumas in my throat.

Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha! I had an upset stomach, and I went to the bathroom and pooped a Jarreaumas.

Jason: Oh man! That sounds PAINFUL!

Jeff: It was. There was scatting, too.

Well, look at you! You’ve returned for Day Two of Mellowmas, even though you woke up at 3 AM with “Mellowmas, Mellowmas, have a very Mellowmas” running through your head! Color us impressed. But seriously, folks: now it’s time to get to the true crap of the season. In terms of bad music, Mellowmas really begins today!

Barry Manilow - Because It’s Christmas (For All The Children) (Excerpt from Händel’s Messiah (”For Unto Us A Child Is Born…”)) (download)

From Because It’s Christmas Amazon iTunes

Jeff: Plaintive!

Jason: Clarinet-y!

Jeff: You can really see Barry sitting by the fire. In the Turkish bath.

Jason: Ornaments hanging from his nose. Oh shit! Strings, muthafucka!

Jeff: Wow, this is classy.

Jason: I’m nervous that he hasn’t started singing yet, though.

Jeff: I wasn’t expecting all this class from Barry.

Jason: Oh, here he is!

Jeff: Unto us! A son is given!

Jason: Uh, is that a lot of echo or is it just on my end? “Unto us! A son is given!” again? I GET IT!

Jeff: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooorn

Jason: Piano interlude!

Jeff: I have to say, again, this sounds nothing like what I was expecting.

Jason: What were you expecting?

Jeff: Schmaltz, of course.

Jason: Well, good news: here it is!

Jeff: Oh boy.

Jason: “Tonight the stars shine for the children!” It’s what you were waiting for! Dreams are flying!

Jeff: Tonight our love comes wrapped in ribbons? What?

Jason: Hopes are high. Don’t be cynical. Barry is telling it like it is. A child appears at the window?

Jeff: A child has appeared, and he’s searching the sky.

Jason: Let him in! He’s fucking freezing!

Jeff: I’m not sure Barry knows what Christmas is. He sure does know how to set a synth for “tinkly piano-type sound,” though.

Jason: I’m just picturing Barry singing this inside, by the fire, and a bunch of kids are outside with frostbite. It’s Christmas, for now and forever!

Jeff: I’m picturing Barry praying to a young alien baby who scans the night sky for used Bette Midler LPs.

Jason: I don’t think Barry understands: Christmas is December 25th.

Jeff: Gear shift! Our first gear shift of the season!

Jason: Uh oh…I have a bad feeling that kids are going to start singing soon. And there they are! Singing in the background!

Jeff: Behind Barry’s tender blessings!

Jason: In the bathhouse!

Jeff: Oh BOY is this over the top.

Jason: Seriously. Barry’s standing on the rooftop now. Still not letting the kids in.

Jeff: Christmas, now and FOREVER, for all the CHILDREN, and the CHILDREN IN US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Jason: Cue the synth horns! Meanwhile, the kids are STILL freezing outside.

Jeff: I’m imagining Barry standing with his arms out wide.

Jason: Let ‘em in, Barry!

Jeff: And he’s wearing the blue unitard from his Barry Manilow Live album.

Jason: Ha ha ha! He’s probably freezing too!

Jeff: You can tell?

Jason: I never thought I’d feel sorry for Barry Manilow’s nipples. But here we are.

Wow, that song was really…

really…

…big.

Jeff: Really.

Jason: Hey, did you know Barry has another Christmas album?

Jeff: I did, but this one was released in the ’80s, so I thought it would be a better place to start. And it looks like I was right!

Jason: And by “better,” you mean “unbelievably awful.”

Jeff: I’m still kind of disappointed. I mean, I’d like to hear, you know, “Copacabana” with words about Hanukkah. Speaking of which, what the fuck is Barry Manilow doing singing about Christmas anyway?

Jason: Y’know, I was wondering about that. I mean, he couldn’t do ONE Hanukkah song? Just one?

Jeff: Why do we have to suffer through crappy holiday music from a sellout Jew every year?

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha!

Jeff: I think Barry could totally rock “The Dreidel Song.”

Jason: I was hoping he’d sing “Blitzen” to the tune of “Mandy.”

Jeff: It’s a DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIDEL…I made it out of CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY…

Jason: FOR THE CHIIIIIILDRENNNNN

Jeff: Yes!

Jason: Dreidel for the Children! Barry’s inside, by the fireplace, spinning a dreidel. Lighting the menorah. And the kids? Still outside freezing. Let us into the bathhouse, Barry!

Jeff: I think the kids have busted into his liquor cabinet and are getting shvitzed on Manieschevitz.

Jason: I think shvitz means sweaty.

Jeff: Hmm. Plotzed? It has to end in -zed.

Jason: You know who should know the answer to this? Me. I’m a Jew. But barely.

Jeff: A lonely Jew. On Mellowmas.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha! I walked right into that one!

I can’t be merry!
Barry’s song blew!
On Mellllooowmassssss!

Welcome, one and all!  The day you’ve been dreading waiting for all year has finally arrived!  It’s time to begin The 25 Days of Mellowmas!

If you’re new to this time-honored tradition, or if you’ve just psychologically blocked it out of your head from last year (smart move), here’s how it works: every day, from now until Christmas, swing on by to listen to some of the lamest Christmas music ever released.  The two of us will gift you with a track per day (sometimes two, you lucky people!), along with brilliant commentary about the crap we’re presenting.  We invite you to listen along with us, and join us for further “analysis” in the comments section!  You can read past Mellowmas entries over at Jason’s site.

So this year, we thought: what can we do to make Mellowmas even better (worse) and brighter (darker) than the past two years?

How about a Mellowmas Theme?

And how about we ask one of our favorite Mellow Gold artists to get involved?

And how about if said Mellow Gold artist actually takes our stupid idea seriously and writes and records the most awesome Mellowmas song in the entire world?

Jeff had the fantastic idea of contacting none other than the brilliant Alan O’Day.  Remember Alan?  Alan is the man behind the #1 hit “Undercover Angel.”  He’s also the man behind “Angie Baby,” a hit for Helen Reddy, and “Rock and Roll Heaven,” made famous by the Righteous Brothers.  He also wrote the Muppet Babies theme, which is now in your head (but not for long, as you’ll soon see).  But perhaps the most important thing to happen in his career — and we’re sure he would agree — was when he became the subject of Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold 17, where Jason wrote the following phrase:

Oh my God, this is the most horrible thing I’ve heard since Mellowmas.

Mr. O’Day stumbled upon the Mellow Gold post and actually found it amusing, which is not surprising when you check out his website and hear some of the songs he’s recorded.  In fact, he’s got a brand new album out, entitled I Hear Voices, which has it all — bluesy rock (”Rock and Roll Shoes”), inspirational pop ballads (”Guide Me”), and songs that are indicative of his finely-tuned (read: sick) sense of humor, like “Your Song Sucks.”  You can buy the CD here, or purchase it digitally here, and find out for yourself exactly what kind of great music what we’re talking about.  One thing is certain: the man doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Jason, with a certain amount of trepidation, contacted Alan via e-mail with the idea.  Alan, shocking the hell out of us all, responded nearly instantly with great interest.  A few phone calls and e-mails later, and Alan was off.  Lyrics, demo and finished track, all within a few days.  What a guy!  And this, everyone, is the story of why we didn’t call Benny Mardones.

Enough with all this talk.  You want to hear the Mellowmas Theme, don’t you?  It’s time.  Enjoy it, download it, share it with your friends.  But one thing is certain: it’s going to be in your head today.  And perhaps tomorrow.  You’ll be singing this chorus all season long.  Yes, by Christmas, you’ll be dreaming of the three of us driving off a cliff together, but you can’t deny that it’s one of the catchiest holiday tunes in recent years — and that it’s perfect for this terrible holiday we’ve invented.  Without further ado, the world premiere of:

Alan O’Day — Have a Very Mellowmas (Theme From Mellowmas) (download)

You love it, right?  You should.  Because it’s frickin’ awesome.

But that’s not all.

We weren’t content with just featuring this song for download.  As usual, we just have to push things one step further.  And so, thanks to Popdose writers Terje Fjelde and Ted Asregadoo, we present:

Happy Mellowmas, everybody!  See you tomorrow!

Hey everybody!  Just think: one week from now, you’ll probably be feeling full and somewhat nauseous from all the food you’ve ingested.  I say, why wait a week?  Get that nauseous feeling right now as we tackle the Billboard Top 10 from November 24, 1984!

10.  I Just Called to Say I Love You  — Stevie Wonder Amazon iTunes
9.  Penny Lover — Lionel Richie Amazon iTunes
8.  All Through the Night — Cyndi Lauper Amazon iTunes
7.  Strut — Sheena Easton Amazon iTunes
6.  Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run) — Billy Ocean Amazon iTunes
5.  Better Be Good to Me — Tina Turner Amazon iTunes
4.  Out of Touch — Daryl Hall and John Oates Amazon iTunes
3.  I Feel For You — Chaka Khan Amazon iTunes
2.  Purple Rain — Prince and the Revolution Amazon iTunes
1.  Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go — Wham! Amazon iTunes

10. I Just Called to Say I Love You — Stevie Wonder

I’m sorry. I know it’s cliché, but I have to.

It’s funny ’cause it’s true! There are, sadly, a lot of people out there who think of this song when they think of Stevie Wonder, and seriously, that pains me. You know who I’m talking about. You probably work with them.

Barry asks another important question here: “Is it, in fact, unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins?” No, it’s not. Stevie Wonder may be a musical genius, but it doesn’t mean I have to love everything he’s ever released. “I Just Called to Say I Love You” is actually a well-written song. It’s poppy, it’s catchy, and the sentiment is simple, yet original. However, none of this changes the fact that this is song comes nowhere near the caliber of his work from the ’70s. And I’m still on the fence as to whether I give him credit or points off for the cha-cha-cha ending.

When I hear this song today (and I try not to), this is what I usually think about:

9. Penny Lover — Lionel Richie (download)

When you’re on fire like Lionel Richie in 1984, you can do whatever the hell you want.  You can write a song called “Penny Lover,” which is not actually about somebody who loves pennies, or even about someone who loves girls named Penny.  And you can sit back and watch your song reach the Top 10, without batting an eye.  That being said, “Penny Lover” peaked at #8 and thus became Richie’s lowest-charting solo single to date.  This doesn’t seem so bad until you realize that he co-wrote the song with his wife, Brenda, and you just know that Lionel got the shit kicked out of him for that one.  “You write a song with ‘Tam bo li de say de moi ya” and it goes to #1, but my song stalls at #8?  Go outside and find me a switch!”

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The press materials for The Who at Kilburn 1977 describe this DVD as “a holy grail for fans after decades of anticipation,” and that’s no piece of bull dreamed up by somebody in marketing. Die-hard Who fans (a group of which I proudly include myself as a member) have long since obsessed over obtaining audio and/or video from a handful of legendary shows, including, but not limited to:

• London, 5/2/69: the premiere of Tommy to the press at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club;

• Newcastle, 11/5/73: the sixth night of the Quadrophenia tour, when the band’s backing tapes failed, resulting in Townshend pulling longtime soundman Bobby Pridden across the soundboard, ripping out backing tapes and smashing equipment, all to the disbelief of the rest of the band … and the entire crowd;

• Kilburn, 12/15/77: aka the second-to-last Who concert to feature Keith Moon, filmed for inclusion in Jeff Stein’s masterpiece rockumentary The Kids Are Alright but shelved because of a subpar performance by an out-of-practice band (save for the inclusion of “My Wife” on the TKAA soundtrack and a few 15-30 second clips over the years).

Audio from the Kilburn show surfaced on a bootleg in the early part of this decade (oddly enough, most likely from one of my cassette tapes, but that’s another story) and last week, the full concert, warts and all, was finally released in all its six-camera, 35mm glory, along with a second disc featuring footage from a Tommy show at the London Coliseum.

So now, the questions can be answered: were the ‘oo truly ‘orrible? Is the Kilburn show nothing but a display of mediocrity? Were the Who justified in shelving it for all these years?

Hardly.

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DOWNLOAD THE FULL MIX HERE

It’s been said that actors wish they could be rock stars and rock stars wish they were actors.  But what if you’re a writer and you also have a music career?  Well, if you’re Jeff Giles, Jason Hare, Darren Robbins, Dw. Dunphy, Terje Fjelde and Ben Wiser, it means you work for Popdose.  Yes folks, this week, yours truly is mixing six songs featuring members of the Popdose staff.  The rules for this mix were simple:  I asked these all-stars to send me their favorite song and tell me why they liked it.  Some answered the question, and others … well, you’ll see.  On with the show! (more…)

Howdy, everybody!  Happy Halloween!  Between Tina Turner’s hair and Eddie Money’s face, it’s quite a scary week here at CHART ATTACK!  Take a look back at what singles were topping the Billboard Hot 100 on November 1, 1986!

10.  All Cried Out — Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force Amazon iTunes
9.  Take Me Home Tonight — Eddie Money Amazon iTunes
8.  Sweet Love — Anita Baker Amazon iTunes
7.  When I Think of You — Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
6.  True Blue — Madonna Amazon iTunes
5.  Human — Human League Amazon iTunes
4.  Amanda — Boston Amazon iTunes
3.  I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On — Robert Palmer Amazon iTunes
2.  Typical Male — Tina Turner Amazon iTunes
1.  True Colors — Cyndi Lauper Amazon iTunes

10. All Cried Out — Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force

I have the weirdest memory of this song. I remember watching America’s Funniest Home Videos very early on in its run (I was 12, okay?), and they had a video of a guy who had done his makeup half as a bride, half as a groom.  And his shtick was that he sang “All Cried Out” in profile to the camera, half as the woman and half as the man.  That’s all I remember about this song; it wasn’t until I listened to it just now that I realized it was even a duet. Who’s the guy, anyway?  I’m guessing he was in Full Force.  According to Wikipedia, Full Force had two vocalists — Paul Anthony or Bowlegged Lou — so I guess it was one of those two.  Please let it be Bowlegged Lou.  I like the idea of someone named Lisa Lisa having a passionate lover’s quarrel with Bowlegged Lou.  “You listen here, Lisa Lisa!”  “Don’t talk to me like that, Bowlegged Lou!”  And then, of course, later, they reconcile, and before you know it, the priest is going, “Do you, Lisa Lisa, take Bowlegged Lou…”

Why did Lisa Lisa need Full Force, anyway?  Wasn’t having Cult Jam enough?  Both sound like formidable teams, but a Full Force Cult Jam sounds like overkill.

Holy cow, here’s a “live” performance from 1986, and guess what? Paul Anthony and Bowlegged Lou sing to Lisa Lisa! It’s a Full Force threesome!  Fast forward to 1:40 for the good stuff, and by “good stuff,” I mean “some seriously awful fashion decisions.”

I personally find this song to be just another lame ballad, but apparently, I’m in the minority: listen to this crowd do all the singing at this performance from earlier this year. They’re loving this one, even without good ol’ Bowlegged Lou. By the way, I’m not saying that people can’t get older and maybe put on a few pounds, now she’s more like Lisa Lisa Lisa.

9. Take Me Home Tonight — Eddie Money

Is it just me, or does Eddie Money kind of look like Benny Mardones?

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In my eyes, the trick to delivering a compelling solo performance is to make each audience member feel as if they’re the only one in the room, and that with each song, an intimate secret is being shared between the two of you. I’ve seen too many performers that lack this awareness, but thankfully, Jonatha Brooke is not one of them.

Initially a double-bill of Brooke and Glen Phillips, the show at The Concert Hall at the NY Society for Ethical Culture became “An Evening With Jonatha Brooke” after Phillips sliced his arm open falling through a glass table a few weeks ago. (Details and photos at his blog, and interesting side note: Sean Watkins of Nickel Creek essentially saved the day.) Although I was disappointed that Phillips wouldn’t be performing, Brooke more than made up for it by performing two beautiful sets, a thoughtful blend of new and old music from her catalogue.

Gliding on stage with some of the dance moves inspired by her previous ballet training, Brooke opened with a number of songs from her past, including “Full-Fledged Strangers” from her first solo record and “Better After All” (one of my favorites from Back in the Circus), which marked the first time I’ve seen an artist use the three-string capo, altering the third, fourth and fifth strings so that it’s actually possible to play below the capo as well. “Keep the River on Your Right” (from Careful What You Wish For) presented itself much differently in a solo setting; although still a song about focus and determination, the mood behind it became much more quiet and reflective. Moments like these could too easily be lost on a less nuanced performer. (more…)

Howdy, everybody! It’s CHART ATTACK! time once again!, What can I tell you about this week? Well, at least three of our artists owe their chart success to MTV. Four of our artists are from Europe, and strangely enough, three are from Michigan. And I’d say that just over 50% of today’s songs still hold up today, but I’ll leave you to make that decision for yourself. Let’s jump into October 5, 1985!

10. Part-Time Lover — Stevie Wonder Amazon iTunes
9. Dancing in the Street — Mick Jagger and David Bowie Amazon iTunes
8. Lonely Ol’ Night — John Cougar Mellencamp Amazon iTunes
7. Freedom — Wham! Amazon iTunes
6. Saving All My Love for You — Whitney Houston Amazon iTunes
5. Dress You Up — Madonna Amazon iTunes
4. Take On Me — a-ha Amazon iTunes
3. Oh Sheila — Ready for the World Amazon iTunes
2. Cherish — Kool & the Gang Amazon iTunes
1. Money for Nothing — Dire Straits Amazon iTunes

10. Part-Time Lover — Stevie Wonder

I am slowly working my way through the entirety of Stevie’s discography. I’m extremely familiar with everything he released from 1971 through 1976, which doesn’t sound like a lot until you remember that Stevie Wonder’s a prolific, musical genius and released six albums (including a double album) within that period. Anyway, so far, I’ve made it as far as 1980’s Hotter Than July, which is actually a phenomenal record. This means I have another record or two until I get to In Square Circle, which is where you’ll find “Part-Time Lover.” Any thoughts on the album, readers? If it’s no good, let me know; I ignored all the people who said Journey Through the Secret Life of Plants was a piece o’ crap and boy, do I regret it now.

But I digress. I like this song. No, it’s not going to hold a candle to anything Stevie released in the ’70s, but to hold any of these songs to that standard is completely pointless, and besides, this is a catchy pop song. “Undercover passion on the run” is a great phrase. Also, I love the story: he’s cheating on her, but (gasp!) she’s cheating on him too! SNAP! “Part-Time Lover” reached #1 on the Pop, R&B, Dance and Adult Contemporary charts, making Stevie the first artist to accomplish such a feat.

Here’s the music video, featuring Stevie groovin’ in a club meant for people who can’t really dance. Also, for the first part of the video, he’s in a triangle for some reason.

I saw Stevie live three times this past year. He played “I Just Called to Say I Love You” at two of the shows, and at all three, he let “Ribbon in the Sky” drag on for 20 minutes. Not once did he play “Part-Time Lover.” I feel slightly jilted, but still, if Stevie comes to your town, run, don’t walk.

9. Dancing in the Street — Mick Jagger and David Bowie

Remember in early 1990, when Angela Bowie made the rounds on the talk show circuit and dished details about finding Mick and David in bed together, naked? And remember how it was this big, salacious bombshell? Anybody who found that news shocking obviously never saw the “Dancing in the Street” video.

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One of the questions I am occasionally asked by readers, other than “Are you sure you’re straight?,” is “Why don’t you write more?” (This is also the question I am asked most often by our Editor-in-Chief.) Without giving you the long lame-ass explanation about the various balls I’m juggling on a daily basis (yes, I’m sure), I’ll just say that I happen to be a very slow writer. CHART ATTACK! and other posts, like last week’s Earmageddon entries, take me days and days to write. I imagine they’d take even longer if I was actually funny.

And this is just one of the reasons why Jeff is my personal hero, folks. Not only does the man write articles of substance, but he churns ‘em out like babies on a polygamist compound. This week’s guest writer punked out with less than two days to spare; Sir Jefito came to my rescue and turned in this entire post in just over two hours. Yes, his kids went hungry, but that’s just the kind of guy he is — anything for Popdose.

So those of you who have been clamoring for another oldie chart, I’m happy to present this one to you. Enjoy, because we’ll be hovering around the ’80s until November. Give thanks to Jeff as he presents us with September 20, 1969! -JH

10. I Can’t Get Next to You — The Temptations Amazon iTunes
9. Little Woman — Bobby Sherman Amazon iTunes
8. Jean — Oliver Amazon iTunes
7. Get Together — The Youngbloods Amazon iTunes
6. (It Looks Like) I’ll Never Fall in Love Again — Tom Jones Amazon iTunes
5. Easy to Be Hard — Three Dog Night Amazon iTunes
4. A Boy Named Sue — Johnny Cash Amazon iTunes
3. Green River — Creedence Clearwater Revival Amazon iTunes
2. Honky Tonk Woman — The Rolling Stones Amazon iTunes
1. Sugar, Sugar — The Archies Amazon iTunes

Howdy, gang! Good to see all of you hungry Chart Attackers again — it’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I didn’t mean to be away for so long, but Jason’s got the CA! schedule booked pretty solid, and whenever I volunteer to take over for one of his weeks, he waves me away for some reason. I can’t figure it out. (It’s usually because you’ve just farted. -JH)

But this week? This week, Jason had no choice. Our old buddy Kurt — who you might remember from his on-again/off-again blog, Kurt’s Krap, and his appearances at Chartburn — was scheduled to lead you through this chart, but he slipped and sprained his vagina, forcing him to punk out cancel at the last minute. Never one to pass up an opportunity to attack a chart, I quickly agreed to take over, at which point I realized I was -5 years old when these songs were popular. Shit! (more…)