We’re moving on to the 11th letter of the alphabet this week on Bottom Feeders, a look at all the great and miserable songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.
Johnny Average Band
“Ch Ch Cherie” — 1981, #53 (download)
Yeah, I know I just said we were beginning the 11th letter, K, but thanks to a snafu — I thought I wrote about the Johnny Average band last year when this series kicked off — we have to deal with the one J entry that I missed.
Frankly, I’m hoping you can provide some kind of insight into this one. I’ve read quite a few different things about the Johnny Average Band: One, I’ve heard this is really a group called the Falcons that was formed by producer and onetime David Bowie guitarist Mick Ronson. But I’ve also read that Ronson doesn’t play on this particular track. I do know that Johnny Average was the stage name of the keyboard player, and “Ch Ch Cherie” features singer Nicole Wills on vocals.
Kajagoogoo
“Hang On Now” — 1983, #78 (download)
I don’t believe Kajagoogoo has ever come up as a topic in this series before so I don’t know what the reaction will be when I claim these guys are total crap. I truly believe that Kajagoogoo are one of the luckiest bands of the decade. I can’t sit here and even remotely tell you that “Too Shy” despite its stupid lyrics isn’t catchy as hell, but the rest of their debut album White Feathers, including “Hang On Now” is slop. These guys were poised to rise like Duran Duran would soon do (the album was even produced by Nick Rhodes and Colin Thurston who was the Duran Duran producer at the time) but they forgot to actually write some songs. White Feathers is straight by-the-book new-wave, taking very few chances at all. And dumb titles like “Ooh To Be Ah” and “This Car is Fast” cemented their place as poor songwriters in my book. Singer Limahl was fired after this album and the ensuing two records without him (both by Kaja — no “googoo” suffix — in the U.S.) sucked even worse. Good for them that they are still making money off “Too Shy” but damn if that wasn’t just good luck rather than talent.
Y’know, if you name your kid Herbert or Poindexter, you’re just setting that child up for a lifetime of teasing and ridicule. And if you name your band Kajagoogoo, well, you can expect a certain amount of critical derision.