Here’s another missive from the Skwatzenschitz archives, which I explained a bit last time. I’m not sure how Jimmy Buffett reacted to Uncle Donnie’s advice, but, to the best of my knowledge, he hasn’t taken action on any of it. —RS

TO: Jimmy Buffett
FROM: Don Skwatzenschitz
RE: Career advice

Jim, babe, hope your winter is going well, and that you’re staying out of the cold and getting plenty of light, even on these overcast days. We’ve had a bunch of them lately. Mitzi gets that seasonal affective disorder, goes all lethargic and depressed on me. She has a special lamp she sits in front of for a couple hours every day, and we have to keep the house temps at 78 degrees, or she won’t get out of bed. Hope you’re dealing with winter a little better than Mitzi.

Anyway, Jim, the music business sucks. I don’t need to tell you that. Downloading rules, but it simultaneously sucks, because the artists can’t make any money off it. Not that they made any money off their records anyway, but you get the point. It all sucks.

You, however, have a career as a live performer to fall back on, and that’s great, man. Just great. But you’re blowing it. You’re really blowing it, like the record companies are blowing it. You’ll be out on the street in a year, you’re blowing it so big. I don’t want you to start sucking too, Jimbo, like the whole music industry. So I’m going to give you some advice: (more…)