Posts Tagged ‘Kenny Rogers’

  
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 75

by Dave Steed

feeders52

Hi, this is Popdose senior editor Robert Cass, and you’re listening to Bottom Feeders, a countdown of every song that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the 1980s! And now, back to text jockey Dave Steed and the countdown … which isn’t really a countdown … but I’m not sure what else to call it except “a really long list” … and that’s not sexy at all, now is it? So let’s just stick with “countdown” and get right into the featured songs by artists whose names begin with the letter R.

Li’l bit o’ trivia for you: “My Computer’s Getting Personal,” the minor regional hit I recorded with my old funk group, Robertic Rhythm, juuuust missed the Hot 100 in ‘87, and therefore missed out on being mentioned in last week’s installment of Bottom Feeders. (Remind me not to ask Robert to write an intro in my absence ever again. —DS)

Rodway
“Don’t Stop Trying” — 1982, #83 (download)

I’ve seen this labeled both disco and new wave. I’m not sure I hear the disco, but the new wave is in full force. “Don’t Stop Trying” is from Steve Rodway’s only record, Horizontal Hold. After this, he did very little for the next decade, at which point he really got into producing music under the moniker Motiv8. Apparently his claim to fame is cowriting and producing Gina G.’s “Ooh Ahh … Just a Little Bit” in 1996. Whatever works, I guess.

RogerRoger
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine” — 1981, #79 (download)

Ranking at a whopping #2 on my Bottom 80 Songs of the ’80s list, this fucker is mind-numbing. I know Roger Troutman made his living using the talk box, both on his solo work and with Zapp, but there’s only so much of this the human ear can take. I can’t listen to “Grapevine” at any volume, as my ears literally hurt from the piercing effects of the box. This version is only, like, seven minutes long — the album version tacks on five more repetitive minutes.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Bottom Feeders, Music | Comments

Monday, September 7th, 2009

Unsolicited Career Advice for … Barry Gibb

by Rob Smith

For all the correspondence from Uncle Donnie that we have on record (or in piles in Lev’s basement), it’s worth noting that he could, on occasion, fall out of touch with people.  The trick was to reconnect with those folks before they died.  Barry Gibb was one of the fortunate ones. -RS

TO: Barry Gibb
FROM: Don Skwatzenschitz
RE: Career Advice

Barry, old pal, how have you been?  It’s been so long since we last saw you at your brother Robin’s birthday party in Miami—what was it, five years ago?  Nine?  I don’t remember much about that night, but I do recall thinking the nude caterers were a bit much.  The spinach balls were lovely, though; Mitzi’s been trying to recreate them in our kitchen ever since.  I tell her the nudity had nothing to do with the quality of the food, but she never listens.

Speaking of my beloved, the other night, she was watching repeats of French television (this satellite TV gets damn near everything), and came upon a performance of “To Love Somebody” by a couple singer/songwriter types, and we got into a discussion about you.  You did such a good job on American Idol a couple years back (though I didn’t quite get the Dr. Zaius costume—was that supposed to be ironic?), yet never capitalized on it.  That’s a shame, particularly if you want to have a place at the table in pop culture these days.  With such an enormous back catalog of hits, you should be out there reminding people of your greatness, and getting new fans to bask in that greatness.  I think I can help you, if you take my advice in several key areas: (more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Featured - Frontpage, Music, Unsolicited Career Advice | Comments

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 67

by Dave Steed

feeders52

Well, here’s another week of the letter P. And while I hate to say it up front, I think this might be the weakest post of the series.

I know that’s not the best way to promote something, but since it’s alphabetical here at Bottom Feeders, it’s all just luck of the draw, and we all know bad weeks are going to come along now and again. I’m curious to see what you’ll think of it. Let’s get started with more of the songs that charted at #41 or lower on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.

dolly-partonDolly Parton
“But You Know I Love You” — 1981, #41 (download)
“The House of the Rising Sun” — 1981, #77 (download)
“I Will Always Love You” — 1982, #53 (download)
“Save the Last Dance for Me” — 1983, #45 (download)
“Downtown” — 1984, #80 (download)

Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers
“The Greatest Gift of All” — 1984, #81 (download)
“Real Love” — 1985, #91 (download)

How could you not love Double-D, as I like to call her? Okay, so there are plenty of other ways to look at breasts that might be more interesting than these, but as a kid growing up in the ‘80s, I knew nothing of Dolly Parton’s except for “9 to 5” and ginormous cans. But I have to give respect to Miss Dolly as she’s had a great career and despite making traditional country (something I have no interest in) she made it quite tolerable.

If I’m not mistaken, “The Greatest Gift of All” might be the first Christmas song in this series.

The Pasadenas
“Tribute (Right On)” — 1989, #52 (download)

It’s not a shocker that the Pasadenas never blew up. Their music is more ‘60s and ‘70s soul than ‘80s. And while this song (thankfully not a mash-up of hits) is actually damn good, it was about 9 years too late to be a major hit for them. If this had been released in ’80 or ’81, I have no doubt this would have gone top 10.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Bottom Feeders, Featured, Featured - Frontpage, Music | Comments

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Motion Picture Soundtrack: “Just Checked In”

by Zack Dennis

The first time I realized I was driving by one of the locations used in The Big Lebowski (1998)- Johnie’s Coffee Shop – I thought it would be great fun to host a Big Lebowski Tour. You’d rent a big, comfortable bus with video players, and show the film as you drove to the spots where pieces of the movie were filmed – Johnie’s, the “Big” Lebowski’s palatial residence, Jackie Treehorn’s home in Malibu, the bridge where the kidnapping exchange was to have taken place, Donny’s final resting place, etc. You’d serve white russians (or as The Dude refers to them, Caucasians) and maybe provide a smoke break for those suitably inclined. Finally, you’d end the evening in a starry bowling alley, knocking down pins.

It would never work, of course. To begin with, the locations are too far apart – The Dude’s home is in Venice, The Big Lebowski’s house is in Beverly Hills, Donny’s final resting place is down in San Pedro, Johnie’s is in the Miracle Mile, and the bridge is somewhere up north beyond the far side of the San Fernando Valley. To make matters worse, the bowling alley Hollywood Star Lanes no longer exists – it was closed and torn down in 2002. Apparently some of its decorations have been preserved at the Lucky Strike Lanes nearby, but it just doesn’t seem like it would be the same.  It’s a shame.  It would have been a brilliant tourist trap.

The Film: The Big Lebowski

The Artist: Kenny Rogers

The Song: “Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)”

(more…)

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Motion Picture Soundtrack | Comments

Monday, December 15th, 2008

The Fifteenth Day of Mellowmas: Dollytoe!

by Jeff Giles and Jason Hare

Last year, on the Fifteenth Day of Mellowmas, we tortured ourselves by listening to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” So what better way to celebrate the anniversary of that horrible day by listening to another track from the same album?

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton — A Christmas to Remember (download)

From Once Upon a Christmas Amazon iTunes

Jason: Oh man

Jeff: Now THIS is Mellowmas.

Jason: I can’t believe we’re dipping in the Kenny and Dolly well again. After last year’s torturous “I Believe in Santa Claus.”

Jeff: It’s a deep well, Jason.

Jason: Oooh! Opening with the chorus! Nice choice!

Jeff: Here come those harmonies! What a Christmas to remember! I wonder what made it so memorable? Let’s find out.

Jason: Oh, so synthesized. So very, very synthesized.

Jeff: Dolly was fantasizing about a fast-talking lover, but…Kenny made it a Christmas to…oh, God.

Jason: I have no idea what happened in the first verse. I wasn’t listening. But apparently whatever happened made it a Christmas to remember.

Jeff: They’re humping.

Jason: Really?

Jeff: Strangers as we met, lovers as we leave.

Jason: Don’t get lost, Kenny!

You make this a Christmas to remember! Springtime feelings in the middle of December! They kissed each other warm and tender!

Jeff: My stomach feels like it has a bucket full of Kenny’s chicken in it.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! They loved and laughed and played and choked!
I mean, joked!

Jeff: Maybe Dolly just choked? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Jason: “Can we do this next winter?”

Jeff: “Though the fire is hot, we’ll just have to let it simmer!” Oh, this is so skeevy.

Jason: What, the thought of Kenny and Dolly making love? Hm. Yeah, they’re definitely talking about making love throughout Christmas.

Jeff: Not only that, but it’s a random hookup.

Oh, sweet, sweet fadeout… I thought you’d never come…

Jason: Oh, you think this is over, Jeff? You think you’re ready to forget this song?

Jeff: I was ready three minutes ago!

Jason: You’re mistaken. After all, this is a Christmas to remember.

Jeff: Don’t tell me you found a video. PLEASE.

Jason: HO HO HO HO HO HO!

Jeff: Do NOT tell me…

Jason: “‘A Christmas to Remember’ is from a classic CBS TV special titled Kenny & Dolly: A Christmas to Remember that originally aired on December 2, 1984.”

Jeff: I have a bad, bad feeling about this.

Jason: Mannequins!

Jeff: Mannequins?

Jason: What the fuck is going on?

Jeff: Why?

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha!

Jeff: Dollytoe!

Jason: Dolly is jerking Kenny’s boots off! Holy shit, he’s getting naked in the lodge!

Jeff: So much hair…

Jason: This is AWESOME!!!!

Jeff: I’m stunned, Jason.

Jason: He’s playing peek-a-boo with the mannequins!

Jeff: This encapsulates everything Mellowmas is about so perfectly that I want to die.

Jason: I’m so happy I found this. I have made this a Christmas to remember.

Jeff: The sequined vest, the snow pants, Kenny’s beard…

Jason: The snow pants! Oh, the snow pants! Mannequins everywhere! For some unknown fucking reason! Oh god, I hope they start having sex with a mannequin.

Jeff: Maybe it’s a metaphor for something. Like for the fact that everyone associated with this must have been stoned out of their entire bodies.

Jason: Man, Kenny and Dolly really got a lot of mileage out of this fake relationship, didn’t they? Wait, did he just knock a fucking mannequin off the piano bench?

Jeff: I guess that was a real person.

Jason: They ended with rubbing noses!??! Where’s the mannequin sex?

Jeff: “Yeah the Mannequins are a little odd in the video but I liked how they put the real one in there to try and fool yah at the piano.”

Jason: That was a real person?

Jeff: That’s from YouTube commenter “HolidayFavs4Me.”

Jason: I actually went back and watched again. It WAS a real person.

Jeff: Jason, this is the grossest Mellowmas song ever.

Jason: Hmm. I wonder who picked this song for Mellowmas? Who could it have been?

Jeff: Andy Williams.

Jason: Was it…Terje? No. Was it…Will? No. Was it…wait, who else is on our staff?

Jeff: Yes! Yes it was! It was Will Harris!

Jason: No, it wasn’t. We both know who it was.

It was KEN.

Jeff: Oh, that’s right. Ken Shane picked it. He loves this stuff.

Jason: Let’s give out his e-mail address. And his home phone number.

Jeff: I think he’s out of town for a few weeks. Sitting in a chalet filled with mannequins.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, let’s come clean. Be honest. YOU picked this track. YOU made this a Christmas to remember.

Jeff: It’s true, I did. I was doing something else while it played the first time, and I nearly got whiplash when I realized what was going on in the lyrics. I think I may have broken a dish.

Jason: Kenny and Dolly, knockin’ winter boots.

Jeff: Rubbin’ snow pants. shudder

Jason: I don’t think it’s as good as last year’s track, because last year’s track had a video of Kenny dressed as Santa Claus. Although there’s something pretty awesome about his ski pants.

Jeff: He looks like a My Buddy doll. My Kenny! My Kenny! Wherever I go, he’s gonna go!

Jason: Kenny’s Roasters and Me!

Say what you want, this was kind of awesome, Jeff.

Jeff: It was 100% Mellowmas.

Jason: Exactly.

Jeff: John Denver dueting with Fogelberg couldn’t have nailed it any harder.

Jason: We can end here, but I’m going to go back and watch the part where Dolly takes off his boots again.

Jeff: You need help, my friend. I love Mellowmas, but I’m never watching that again.

Jason: By the way, “Dollytoe” is one of the funniest things I’ve heard all year.

Jeff: Thank you, thank you.

Jason: Now it’s time for us to go, Jeff, as our hearts melt like chimney snow. There’s just one thing I want to know: can we do this next winter?

Jeff: Though the fire is hot, we’ll just have to let it simmer!

Jason: Actually, fuck next winter. Can we do this again tomorrow?

Jeff: What the hell. I’ve got nothing going on.

Jason: We do have, like, ten days left or something!

Jeff: Really? Isn’t it Mellowmas Eve yet?

Jason: Wishful thinking on your part. Wishful thinking on everyone’s part.

Jeff: Don’t I hear sleigh bells jingling?

Jason: Oh, that’s your mom. She’s over here jumping on my bed.

Jeff: Why, that’s even grosser than Kenny and Dolly sharing sequins in the chalet!

Jason: I asked her to wear the sleigh bells, but it was her idea to wear the harness. She made this a Christmas to remember. And it’s going to last until I finish these antibiotics.

Jeff: Oh, it’ll last well past that. She’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Jason: Oh ooooh woah! What a Christmas!

Jeff: Hey, that reminds me — your mom left her teeth here last time she came over. Can I send them to you? I don’t want your dad to know.

Jason: Oh, you can just throw them in the fire. They’re made of wood.

Jeff: I figure you can just tell him she took them out at the Firefall concert.

Jason: I have no response. You’ve taken a Mellow Gold artist’s name in vain. NOW you’ve crossed the line.

Jeff: Now I have this damn song stuck in my head. Out! Out! Out! I need to listen to “Tom’s Diner” or something…

Jason: Hooray! Hopefully our readers have the same problem. If they do, I suggest they go back to Day One and listen to “Mellowmas, Mellowmas, have a merry Mellowmas…” And don’t worry, folks, only 24 hours before another shitty song is in your head. Don’t say we never gave you anything for Mellowmas!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Mellowmas, Music | Comments

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Into the Ear of Madness: Week 19 — I Have a Style, But It’s Very Subtle

by Terje Fjelde

Logo

Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by the man. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.

“I have a style, but it’s very subtle.”
David Foster, March 1985

“What About Me,” by Kenny Rogers, Kim Carnes & James Ingram, from Kenny Rogers’s “What About Me,” 1984

It may be a little-known fact that David Foster is one of the dominant forces in the history of the modern duet pop ballad, but throughout the last 25 years he has peppered the charts with duets in all flavors, in addition to trios, quadruples, quintripets and whatnots. Oh, yes. It started in the early ’80s, when he played a couple of duet sessions, like, “Baby, Come to Me” and “How Do You Keep the Music Playing?” with Patti Austin and James Ingram and “Love All the Hurt Away” with Aretha Franklin and George Benson.

In 1983, after he produced the Bob Seger tune “We’ve Got Tonight” for Kenny Rogers and Sheena Easton, all hell broke loose in terms of power duets. “We’ve Got Tonight” was a monster hit and ever since that, Foster has written and produced up to several duets every single year: John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John, David Foster/Newton-John, Paul Anka/Peter Cetera, Julio Iglesias/Stevie Wonder, Lou Rawls/Tata Vega… and let’s not forget Chicago’s Grammy-winning “Hard Habit to Break,” which is a duet between Peter Cetera and Bill Champlin.

There’s no point carrying on, really — I could continue for days.

Then there’s “What About Me,” Foster and Rogers’ follow-up single to the insanely successful “We’ve Got Tonight.” They topped it in all possible ways. Written by Foster, Rogers and Richard Marx, there’s pretty much a modulation for every verse, chorus and bridge. There are strings, horns, splashing cymbals and toms and a plethora of keyboards. There are not two, but three lead vocalists, all of them had enjoyed substantial chart success in the preceding years and all of them, amusingly, are wondering “what about me?”

So what about “What About Me?” (more…)

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Into the Ear of Madness, Music | Comments

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

Future Retro: Sheena Easton, “Fabulous”

by DJ D

SHE’S A MODERN GIRL (na na na na na)

Back in the neon-colored days of the ’80s, Sheena Easton ruled the Adult Contemporary charts with a well-manicured fist. Sheena first began her ascension to fame on the BBC television show The Big Time, a documentary-style program chronicling an unknown singer’s attempt to achieve success in the music industry. Sheena was selected as the program’s subject based on her talent and her potential to become a singing star. EMI Records believed in her enough to give her a recording contract and a producer. Sheena spent the next several months being followed by cameras as she set out to create her very first single, “Modern Girl.”

Despite the television exposure, it wasn’t until “9 to 5,” Sheena’s second UK single, that her career finally started to take off. The song went to #3 on the UK charts, prompting its release in other countries. “9 to 5″ was renamed “Morning Train” in the U.S. to avoid confusion with Dolly Parton’s song of the same name. Regardless of its name, “Morning Train” went all the way to #1 in the U.S. “Modern Girl” was re-released in the UK after an initially disappointing debut and eventually climbed into the Top 10. “Modern Girl” was released as her second U.S. single and topped out at #18. Within months the Scottish newcomer had two huge hits on the charts in multiple countries. These accomplishments were followed by the Academy Award-nominated James Bond theme “For Your Eyes Only” which peaked at #4 in the U.S. and #8 in the UK. All of this led to a well-deserved Grammy for Best New Artist of 1981.

SHE’S GOT THE LOOK

Unlike many other Grammy winners, the supposed “Best New Artist jinx” didn’t seem to apply to Sheena. She continued to deliver numerous hits throughout the rest of the ’80s and into the ’90s. In 1983 she landed several huge hits, including the dance track “Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair),” the #1 country/pop duet with Kenny Rogers, “We’ve Got Tonight” (a Bob Seger cover) and “Almost Over You,” which rose to the top of the Adult Contemporary charts.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Future Retro, Music | Comments

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Chartburn: 3/28/08

by The Chartburn Panel

Chartburn Logo


Mainstream Rock: Lenny Kravitz, “Are You Gonna Go My Way” (1993)

Zack: I remember when Lenny Kravitz was first thrust upon the music world by a few cynical record company executives. It seemed like he had been designed by a committee to take advantage of all the latest pop-culture trends. Dreadlocks were in, so they gave him dreads. Tattoos and nose rings were still edgy and cool, so those were included. It was like watching a rock-star version of Poochie. One of the talking points that was pushed was that he was a talented songwriter, and every time I heard that spewing from the mouth of some idiot VJ I felt like I’d been taking crazy pills. Some sample lyrics from Lenny’s quill:

We’ve got to hug and rub-a-dub
We got to dance and be in love

Based on his biography, Lenny doesn’t sound like such a bad guy, and this is actually a well-produced video, but I hate hate hate the song.

Robert: I shouldn’t hate Lenny because he’s beautiful, but I do, and it’s because he knows he’s beautiful. He has a few good songs, but I can’t think of any I’ve liked past the Are You Gonna Go My Way album. The title track is one of his best singles, but I’m sure classic-rock fans could tell me note for note who Lenny’s ripping off in this song.

Dunphy: Y’know, I don’t mind “Are You Gonna Go My Way” much. This and “Believe” made the insurgent grunge brigade a little easier to tolerate. Maybe not by much, but still. “We’ve got to hug and rub-a-dub,” while being a fireable offense, certainly had dynamism against “Kill the pain, oh the pain, heroin? Yes, please …”

Jeff: How do I hate thee, Lenny? Let me count the ways. If I had a dollar for every hour Lenny Kravitz has sucked, I’d be … I’d be even richer than Lenny Kravitz, actually, but not by much. How depressing.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Chartburn, Music | Comments

Friday, February 8th, 2008

The Year in Rock: 1978

by Darren Robbins

Although released in late 1977, the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack would be impossible to ignore for much of 1978, with the Bee Gees’ “Night Fever” and “Stayin’ Alive,” as well as Yvonne Elliman’s “If I Can’t Have You,” all reaching #1. At several points during the first half of ‘78, the soundtrack album was selling over 1 million units a week.

Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
Bee Gees – Night Fever (w/ More Than a Woman) (more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Music, The Year In... | Comments

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

Sugar Water: Parade (Of Lies!)

by Robert Cass

sugarwater.gif

I should start subscribing to the newspaper again on Sundays. Not for the news, of course. Please. No, the only part of the paper I’m interested in is Parade magazine, particularly Walter Scott’s Personality Parade, the regular page-two feature where Scott answers readers’ questions about various celebrities’ careers, love lives, and deeply offensive character flaws.

Judging by his responses, I’m guessing that Scott is somewhere around the age of 117. He’s a curmudgeon who thinks Hollywood doesn’t make them like they used to, whether the “them” in question is movies, movie stars, or the tawdry things those stars do in public to keep Scott’s readers interested and thereby keep his mailbox full. Flash your unmentionables at the paparazzi all you want, Paris and Britney, but Walter Scott remembers a time when unmentionables with true talent were the talk of the town, and they were being violated by real celebrities like Fatty Arbuckle.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Current Events, Sugar Water | Comments