January 12, as I’m sure you remember, was my lawyer/friend Dave-o’s birthday, and in case you’re wondering, I didn’t end up getting him a leather attaché case. What if it rains? Exactly.
Aside from my romantic exploits south of the equator (I am talking about the actual equator, but I’m also talking about sex), I’m not the type to brag, but you should’ve seen the look on Dave-o’s face when I told him he’d be spending his birthday week with me in Ocala, Florida.
He winced. Then he looked like he had to go to the bathroom. Then I ended my dramatic pause and said, “With front-row seats to the celebrity trial of the month! That’s right — Wesley Snipes’s tax protest trial!”
Now who has to go to the bathroom, Dave-o? Actually, I do. Back in a second …
