
Jeff: I do want to say that I think it’s funny how often we keep coming back to Dolly. Is this the second or third time we’ve covered something Parton-related? I think it’s the third.
Jason: I thought it was the second! Did I forget the other one?
Jeff: Didn’t we cover two of her duets with Chicken Beard?
Jason: I only remember doing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” Did I block the other one out of my memory?
Jeff: I think you might have. Was “I Believe in Santa Claus” the one with the terrifying ski lodge video? Because that would bump a few things out of the memory banks.
Jason: No, that was the one in the shopping mall with Kenny dressed as Santa. But now I’m totally remembering what you’re talking about!
Jeff: I feel sort of guilty, because Dolly seems like such a nice person. But she keeps releasing such bad Christmas music.
Jason: Yes! We did “A Christmas To Remember!”
Jeff: Dollytoe!
Jason: Yes!
Jeff: shudder
Jason: I wouldn’t feel guilty. Look at that cover.

Jason: I mean, who is that? Is that Dolly Parton?
Jeff: It’s Dolly after she was attacked by an airbrush, I think.
Jason: She looks like The Joker.
Jeff: Is her face frozen like that?
Jason: Look at her lips. Look at that facial expression.
Jeff: And those eyebrows! Holy shit!
EYEBROWS DON’T DO THAT, JASON
Jason: And is that a mole on her face? I thought it was dust on my screen, but then I moved the image and the dust mark stayed where it was.
Jeff: I think it’s butterfly poop.
Jason: Her facial expression, I would imagine, is supposed to say “I wonder what’s in this package?” But all I’m seeing her saying is “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Jason: I supposed we have to listen sooner or later, don’t we?
Jeff: I suppose we must. This is just a single, right? I mean, you aren’t going to spring another track on me after this is over, are you?
Jason: As far as I know, this is just a single. But even if it’s not, I promise you: no more Dollytoe after today.
Jeff: That’s a promise you may not be able to keep, but okay. I feel better. You can’t see me crossing my fingers and hoping Dolly covers “Last Christmas” next year.
Jason: SHE HAD BETTER NOT
Jeff: Ready to…uh, comin’ home for Christmas?
Jason: I wonder if there’s any correlation to the title and the fact that she’s surrounded by balls in the picture.
Jeff: Ha! And a box!
Dolly Parton — Comin’ Home for Christmas (download)
From Comin’ Home for Christmas (single) 
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‘
TO: Barry Gibb
F. Scott Fitzgerald once famously declared that there are no second acts in American lives. It’s a good thing that the 
