“A liar lies and a thief steals from you, but a hustler gives you something that you don’t mind parting with your money for. You’re entertained by the meal or the sex or the impression that something is going to happen. You’re given a sense of well-being….” –actor Val Kilmer describing porn star John Holmes, who he portrayed in 2003’s Wonderland

Val Kilmer wants to be the next governor of New Mexico. In fact, as he told the Associated Press in a recent interview, “If I run, I’m going to be the next governor.”

That’s the spirit! After all, Arnold Schwarzenegger had never held public office before he became governor of California in 2003, and by most accounts he’s done an admirable job in that post. But Schwarzenegger was always more of a movie star than an actor, and one reason he got to be such a huge international star was because he was a smart businessman (and, by extension, politician). He promoted action films like Total Recall and comedies like Twins with equal amounts of salesmanship and hyperbole, appearing on as many talk shows and in as many entertainment magazines as he could. He knew he wasn’t a great actor, and he knew his fans didn’t want to see him try anything Oscar-worthy, which is why the clip of him playing a pyrotechnic Hamlet in 1993’s Last Action Hero is the best joke in that otherwise misbegotten attempt at melding Schwarzenegger’s two favorite genres. (“To be or not to be,” he says before deciding on “not to be” and detonating the royal castle.)

Kilmer, however, is much more of an actor than a movie star, despite matinee-idol looks and brief brushes with superstardom in blockbusters like Top Gun (1986), in which he played one of Tom Cruise’s rivals, and Batman Forever (1995), where his Batman was overshadowed by Jim Carrey’s Riddler and Joel Schumacher’s campy direction. (To be fair, 2005’s Batman Begins is the only Batman film that focuses more on the title character than the villains. Even last year’s critically adored The Dark Knight gave more screen time to the Joker and Two-Face.) Kilmer decided not to reprise his role for 1997’s Batman & Robin. This probably pleased Schumacher, who returned for the franchise’s fourth installment and told Premiere magazine in ‘97 that “Val is the most psychologically troubled human being I’ve ever worked with. The tools I used to work with him — tools of communication, of patience and understanding — were the tools I use on my five-year-old godson. Val is not just high-strung. I think he needs help. I say this to you only because I have said it to him.”

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