Happy Friday, everybody, and welcome back to another edition of CHART ATTACK! This week’s Top 10 is relatively diverse, with a bunch of artists who stand absolutely no chance of getting anywhere on the charts ever again. There are a few genuinely great songs on this chart, a few I think I’m supposed to hate but don’t, and a few that are seriously terrible. They’re all a part of March 21, 1976!
10. Money Honey — Bay City Rollers Amazon iTunes
9. Right Back Where We Started From — Maxine Nightingale Amazon iTunes
8. Let Your Love Flow — Bellamy Brothers Amazon iTunes
7. Dream On — Aerosmith Amazon iTunes
6. Sweet Thing — Rufus Featuring Chaka Khan Amazon iTunes
5. Disco Lady — Johnnie Taylor Amazon iTunes
4. All By Myself — Eric Carmen Amazon iTunes
3. Lonely Night (Angel Face) — Captain & Tennille Amazon iTunes
2. Dream Weaver — Gary Wright Amazon iTunes
1. December 1963 (Oh, What a Night) — The Four Seasons Amazon iTunes
10. Money Honey — Bay City Rollers (download)
So here’s one I think I’m supposed to hate. It’s by the Bay City Rollers, right? Why wouldn’t I mock it? Well, honestly, if I didn’t know this song was by the Bay City Rollers, I wouldn’t have any reason to mock it. I’m not offended by it. The song kind of boogies in a rock-ish way, and I think both the music and harmonies are pretty solid.
The Bay City Rollers are often considered one-hit wonders in America because of “Saturday Night” (and okay, that song does kind of suck), but “Money Honey” reached #9, and the band racked up six songs in the Top 40 between ‘75 and ‘77.
I don’t know. Take a listen. What do you think?
9. Right Back Where We Started From — Maxine Nightingale
This song is certainly quite popular — everybody knows it — and has a catchy chorus, but I find it unbelievably annoying. It’s mainly a result of the drums and the handclaps: They continue on and on, never stopping for a second, seemingly determined to drive us nowhere in particular but crazy. The song just goes nowhere. Ugh. And it’s possible Maxine Nightingale felt the same way: according to Wikipedia, when approached to record the song, she agreed to do so only if she could release it under a pseudonym. (It wasn’t released under a pseudonym.) It was her biggest hit, peaking at #2, with “Lead Me On” coming in second in 1979. We’ll be talking about that one in a future Mellow Gold post.
I figured out another reason why this song annoys me: it reminds me of Captain & Tennille. And on another note, can you imagine having to sing backing vocals on this song? I think I’d shoot myself.
8. Let Your Love Flow — Bellamy Brothers
I recently heard someone play a fantastic cover of “Let Your Love Flow,” but I can’t remember who it was or when I heard it. All I remember is that they did a fantastic job on the chorus and “bird on a wing” became much more southern — like “bird on a wang.” Written out, that looks awful, but I think you know what I mean. In any case, I have been all over the Internet for two days trying to track down this cover, and I just can’t do it. I’m pissed that I’m going to lose sleep over a Bellamy Brothers cover.
“Let Your Love Flow” is a really great song, and who do we have to thank for it? Roadies. Not just one roadie, either. David Bellamy’s producer, Phil Gernhard, often hired Neil Diamond’s touring band for studio sessions, and one of Diamond’s roadies, Larry Williams, was also an aspiring singer-songwriter. He presented Gernhard with “Let Your Love Flow,” a song clearly written after one too many spins of “Listen to the Music.” David took a stab at recording it, but the results were unimpressive, and the track was shelved.
That’s roadie #1. Roadie #2 was David’s older brother, Howard, who was working as said roadie for one of the producer’s other acts Jim Stafford (”Spiders and Snakes,” covered in CHART ATTACK! 2/23/74). Gernhard heard Howard’s voice and somehow determined that he was the missing ingredient in “Let Your Love Flow.” (I think this part of the story is bullshit, but that’s just me.) Anyhoo, the Bellamy Brothers re-recorded the song, and the rest is history. The track hit #1 for a week in May, and remains the group’s biggest hit. They cracked the Top 40 with “If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me,” and no, I’m not making that up, that’s the full title, no parentheses or nothin’. It even reached the top of the country charts in 1979. Shame on them.
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I don’t believe Kajagoogoo has ever come up as a topic in this series before so I don’t know what the reaction will be when I claim these guys are total crap. I truly believe that Kajagoogoo are one of the luckiest bands of the decade. I can’t sit here and even remotely tell you that “Too Shy” despite its stupid lyrics isn’t catchy as hell, but the rest of their debut album White Feathers, including “Hang On Now” is slop. These guys were poised to rise like Duran Duran would soon do (the album was even produced by Nick Rhodes and Colin Thurston who was the Duran Duran producer at the time) but they forgot to actually write some songs. White Feathers is straight by-the-book new-wave, taking very few chances at all. And dumb titles like “Ooh To Be Ah” and “This Car is Fast” cemented their place as poor songwriters in my book. Singer Limahl was fired after this album and the ensuing two records without him (both by Kaja — no “googoo” suffix — in the U.S.) sucked even worse. Good for them that they are still making money off “Too Shy” but damn if that wasn’t just good luck rather than talent.