With all this talk about remakes in various stages of production, from rumored to released, I’ve received a couple of suggestions that I do a list of needless remakes. But because (to sort-of quote Robert Stack in Airplane!) “That’s just what they’re expecting me to do,” I decided to flip it around and do a list of great remakes. Because let’s face it, none of us want these movies to turn out bad — we’d all rather they be good. When I hear of a remake in the works, such as 2008’s The Day the Earth Stood Still, when I’m finished rolling my eyes there is a gullible part of me that thinks “wait a minute, Keanu Reeves is an interesting casting choice and the themes of the original are still relevant today — this might work!” But then the movie gets released and the reviews are so universally awful, I decide to skip it. That’s typically what happens, but there is always a twinge of hope that the remake will be good.
So what constitutes a great remake? I’d define it as a movie that takes the original premise, makes it its own and in no way tarnishes the memory of the original. Here are ten films that I feel do exactly that. I know it’s sacrilege to say, but some of these I think are even better movies than their inspirations.
The Thing (1982). From the very opening, with the desolate shots of the Antarctic and the Norwegian helicopter pilot trying desperately to kill a dog running in the snow, we can tell we’re in for a different ride than the 1951 Howard Hawks original The Thing from Another World. Director John Carpenter and screenwriter Bill Lancaster take the story in a more psychological direction — as the men become infected by the “thing” they show no outward signs and the paranoia grows as they begin to point fingers at each other. The good old early 80’s makeup effects by Rob Bottin still hold up beautifully, especially that defibrillator gag. The great cast includes Kurt Russell, Richard Dysart, Wilfred “I’m all better now” Brimley and Donald “I’d rather not spend the rest of this winter tied to this fucking couch” Moffat. By the way, John Carpenter has had good luck remaking Howard Hawks’ films — if his 1976 Assault on Precinct 13 had “officially” been a remake of Hawks’ 1959 Rio Bravo, I would have included it on this list. (Now if only people would have luck remaking Carpenter’s own films!) (more…)
My vote for greatest rock and roll song of all time goes to the Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” It’s got it all: its guitars are loud and its lyrics filthy, sung in broken English by a bunch of long-haired yet still balding German dudes with names like Klaus and Matthias. The album it came from, Love at First Sting, was chock full of likewise loud, enormous-sounding, German-accented rawk songs like “Big City Nights,” “I’m Leaving You,” and “Bad Boys Running Wild” (cuz the Scorps were not good boys; good boys would never do such a thing).