This past weekend I was the best man at my friend Rodger’s wedding. I spent a long time working on my toast, which went well, but there was something I was thinking about that I didn’t get to include in my speech.
A lot of times, our ability to feel joy for others is constrained by our own status – if you’re having a horrible month, it’s hard to be happy when you find out that one of your friends just scored a huge raise. That’s why it’s a bad idea to gamble as a group – for every person that hits it big, there’s going to be at least one other who takes a bath. But what’s always been interesting about my friendship with Rodger is that I’m always rooting for him – regardless of what’s going on with me. I can spend two hours bobbing about in freezing water without catching a single wave, but if I see Rodger pick up a long right and stroll out onto the nose, I’ll be hooting for him as loud as I can.
I’ve always tried to resist being jealous about having friends chase after my ex-girlfriends, but Rodger’s the one guy I was actually disappointed in when he passed up his chance when my ex Suzon turned up at his New Year’s party in a pair of tight leather pants.* Doug Liman’s independent film Swingers (1996) features a similar sort of friendship between its central character Mikey (Jon Favreau) and his libertine friend Trent (Vince Vaughn).
The Film: Swingers
The Song: “Go Daddy-O”
The Artist: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
