Every once in a while, a beautiful (mostly) instrumental Christmas album is released. And then, every once in a while, a curveball is inserted smack into the middle of the tracklist. Observe!
Jerry Douglas — Santa Claus is Coming to Town (download)
From Jerry Christmas (Get it?) 
Wow! People are really fired up about this Tuesday’s election in Bootleg City! As mayor, it warms my heart to see such civic pride and faith in democracy. Don’t forget to vote, everyone. Remember, we’re all in this together.
Everyone except the mayoral candidates whose asses I’m totally going to kick on November 3, that is. On that note, here’s my final attack ad of the campaign season:
Last summer Matt Wardlaw was quoted as saying, “Taco Bell and I have a relationship that dates back to an infamous church youth group trip in the late ’80s.”
So what else is Matt Wardlaw not telling us that he already did tell us but not without it being taken out of context?
For starters, just last week Mr. Wardlaw told Mayor Robert Cass, “Not if you were the last immigrant grocer on Earth!” But why does Mr. Wardlaw hate immigrant grocers? And does he plan to molest them the way he molested 14 innocent Mexican-American tacos in 20 minutes back when Republicans were still in the White House?
On November 3, don’t vote for a molester of tacos or any other foods made by hardworking, minimum wage-earning, American Dream-having immigrants. Vote for Robert Cass. Vote for him for Mayor.
Paid for by the Committee to Re-elect a Mayor Who Isn’t Addicted to Vinyl or Any Other Mind-Altering Substance.
![tacobell[1]](http://popdose.com/wp-content/uploads/tacobell1.gif "tacobell[1]")
Taco Bell and I have a relationship that dates back to an infamous church youth group trip in the late ’80s, when I was living in the Chicago suburb of Joliet. On this particular road trip, I took the challenge on a dare that I could eat 10 tacos in one sitting — and surpassed the goal, packing in 14 tacos in about 20 minutes. The story became legendary with friends and family, accessorized with slanderous details of alleged gassy side effects that the other passengers were forced to endure thanks to my little stunt, for the entire van trip home, a charge which I continue to deny to this day.
In the years to follow, I’ve watched and wondered in silent amazement at the knack that Taco Bell has for continuously making new creations out of the same basic seven ingredients, and each time it tastes different somehow. How the hell do they do that?
As an underpaid working professional with no money in my 20s, I ate Taco Bell a lot. For five bucks, you could grab food for a couple of days and forget, for one brief moment, how bad you were getting screwed by the man.
My not-so-inner fast food junkie eventually branched out from the traditional tacos and burritos, first with the Mexican Pizza – two crisp shells packed with ground beef (is it really?) and beans, topped with pizza sauce and multiple cheeses, please hold the tomatoes. I discovered that 20something me could easily pack away two of those bad boys, and potentially a soft taco or two if I really wanted to kill my will to do anything for the rest of the day. (more…)
