Like most people I know, my favorite feature in Us Weekly is the “Stars — They’re Just Like Us!” spread. You know, Brad Pitt with his fly down, Ryan Phillippe pushing a cart at Ikea … (No, I do not read Us Weekly! Sometimes I just, you know, catch a glimpse when my wife leaves it open on the vanity.)
Next week, Us readers might see a spread featuring Michael Phelps (“They take bong hits in public!”), Tom Daschle (“They cheat on their taxes!”), and Christian Bale (“They tear underlings a new asshole!”). A lot of those readers might be appalled. But how many of them would have a right to be?
OK, forget Bale — that tirade truly was out of the ordinary. But before we send Batman after these other two arch-villains, can we please take a moment to consider the sheer mundaneness (mundanity?) of their actions?
Phelps is a 23-year-old with pockets full of dough and time on his hands. He’s part of the Pineapple Express generation, for crying out loud! How many of his peers, much less their ’60s-bred parents, really care if his idea of blowing off steam involves sucking down illicit smoke? A recent survey quoted no fewer than 42 percent of Americans who said they’ve tried pot, and the nation’s marijuana laws are steadily becoming as flaccid as the stuff supposedly renders its male users (I have no direct evidence, of course). Why is this a big deal?
As for Daschle, yes, the dollar value of his outstanding tax liability was eye-popping. Still, I encourage the working mom who has never once handed a wad of cash to the nanny without reporting it to the IRS — or the homeowner who has never once acted on his impulse to fudge the “charitable contributions” line on his 1040 — to cast the first stone. The rest of us should pause a moment. There must be some reason why tax-debt resolution has become such a growth industry in this country — and it can’t be that liberal politicos are the only ones responding to all those commercials on Fox News.
