Posts Tagged ‘Zack Dennis’

NFL Picks: Week 3 (updated)

UPDATE: A few minor tweaks in the spread have changed my bets a little bit, but nothing more than half a point or more than few dollars. Gaining the half point in Chicago made the computer a bit less enthusiastic about the Bears, and the change on the Dallas line led to the computer switching its pick, since a single hedge bet came in on the side of Carolina. A new summary sheet is here. Still no line on the Philadelphia game.

UPDATE 2: Ah, finally. The line on the Philadelphia game is up – the Eagles are favored by 8.5 points. Which means that Gamblor would like to place (gulp) a $31.50 bet on the Chiefs. My thoughts are summarized below.

I really enjoyed my Sunday last week. In the morning, I watched my chosen team (the Raiders) put together a sensational drive late in the game to come from behind and pull out an improbable win (and win some money for me). In the afternoon, my girlfriend and I watched her chosen team (the Bears) put together a sensational drive late in the game to come from behind and pull out an improbable win (and win some more money for me). In the evening I went out and saw We Were Promised Jetpacks, The Twilight Sad, and Frightened Rabbit play a corker of a show at the Knitting Factory. It was a good day. Last week I mentioned that I’d be impressed if Gamblor could beat his Week 1 weighted win percentage of 77.5%. He didn’t, but he came awfully close, nailing 75.1% of his picks – and finishing 11-5 for the week (tabulated summary is here). My own picks were a little better, going 9-7, which brings me to even for the season. As I mentioned before, you’re better off listening to the computer, not me.

You’d expect that Vegas would have enjoyed their Sunday as well, as the week featured a number of close games and underdogs prevailed in 9 of the 16 games. Unfortunately, the bettors were a little bit too savvy and correctly identified Oakland and Baltimore as the same kind of dogs I’d like to see set loose on Michael Vick’s testicles. So the books took a beating, and likely will try to recoup their losses this week. I find Gamblor’s picks a bit unsettling this week, as it only likes one favorite in the entire slate of games. Then again, it only liked one favorite last week too, and it’s awfully hard to argue with those kinds of results. This week, the computer is making a grand total of 1464 hedge bets – its sixth most ever. For some historical context, the most hedge bets it has ever made was 1806, which happened in Week 15 of 2005. In weeks that it has wanted to make this many hedge bets, it has actually done quite well – when making 1200 hedge bets or more it has been profitable 13 out of 22 times – with an overall win percentage of 57.2%. So I’ll swallow my concerns and let Gamblor continue (I hope) to work his magic.

One of the reasons the computer is so enthusiastic about underdogs this week is because many of those underdogs are playing at home. Some of the tougher teams in the league (New Orleans, Green Bay, New York Giants, and Pittsburgh) are headed out on the road against comparatively weaker teams (Buffalo, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, and Cincinnati), which means that although we’ll probably see at least one upset, it’s virtually guaranteed that a few unlucky cities will have to watch their teams get slaughtered on their own home fields. Which brings me to my feature for the week… (more…)

NFL Picks: Week 2 (updated)

UPDATE: The lines wiggled a little bit before I placed my bets, so I updated the lines and the bet amounts to reflect my wagers. The only major change was the line in the Jets game dropping from +5 to +3.5. Smells like a trap to me. Here’s a summary sheet of the computer’s picks if you want to follow along at home.

Wow! For those of you who decided to blindly trust some guy on the Internet in his first week of making football predictions, congratulations! The computer hit the ground running, nailing its top three picks and five of its top six en route to a dazzling weighted win percentage of 77.5% (tabulated results are here)! I hope this isn’t the finest week the computer has this season, though it has set the bar awfully high for itself. Overall, the computer pulled in a profit of $156. My own personal predictions were much less impressive; I was 7-9 for the week. Some of my assessments were dead-on (Philadelphia, Atlanta, Minnesota, Green Bay), I was wrong about the particulars but ultimately prevailed on a couple (Buffalo, San Francisco), and on some I just flat-out missed the mark by a mile (Seattle, Oakland). And there were a pair of games where I was tantalizingly close to being correct. The first was my weeklong dream that Detroit would sneak in a backdoor cover against the Saints — which almost came true. They made it all the way to New Orleans’ 36 yard line with 5:00 left before Stafford tossed his third pick of the day and New Orleans put together a long drive to finish killing the clock. The second brings me to my feature for this week:

The Top 5 Indescribably Idiotic Decisions of Week 1.

insertbrainIs there anything more satisfying than second-guessing the decisions that players and coaches and referees make while they are in the midst of intense pressure, deafening crowds, and hurtling bodies that collide with such force that it’s a wonder fission doesn’t take place? Monday morning quarterbacking is one of the guiltiest delights of the game of football. The tactical nature of the game enables us to pick through every play in slow motion and critique every missed block, every mistimed route, every blown coverage that occurs during the course of a single play. There’s no sport that gives us a better chance to say “…if only” and be absolutely certain that if that receiver had just thought to lateral the ball before getting laid out by the safety while he was six inches short of the first down marker, the outcome of the game if not the ENTIRE SEASON would been totally different.

Of course, it’s not always tactical mistakes that raise our ire. Sometimes players can do things that are so mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly stupid that you want to reach into your television set, take off their helmet, and beat them about the ears with it. Players will call for a fair catch at the one-yard line, try to scoop up fumbles they should have just pounced on, spike the ball in the middle of a play, and casually run out of the back of the end zone as though the field were ten yards longer. Blooper reels are filled with players displaying magnificent lapses in judgment. Leon Lett’s entire legacy is built on a pair of these plays. It sometimes makes you wonder whether suffering a coma-inducing concussion would actually make some of these guys smarter. Here are my nominees for what I think are the most boneheaded decisions of the first week of NFL football:

5. Hines Ward, Tennessee vs. Pittsburgh. Once he’s inside the ten, all he’s got to do is protect the ball, let them kill a bit of clock, and then Jeff Reed would handle the rest. Instead, by trying to fight his way through for a touchdown, Ward fumbled away a sure victory and put the game in jeopardy. Without the good fortune of winning the coin toss, Pittsburgh could easily have lost this game.

4. NFL Officials, San Diego vs. Oakland. Absolute horseshit, and I’d say this even if I hadn’t been a Raiders fan since the age of seven. If a player has two feet down and has control of the football in the end zone, it’s a touchdown. End of story. Anything that happens afterwards is irrelevant. I don’t remember the league contorting themselves into sixteen different positions to explain why this was ruled as a touchdown. According to their own assessment of what the completely undefined term “going to ground” means, they applied the rule correctly. Except just like the “tuck rule,” it’s a terribly defined rule that whose inadequacies should have been blatantly obvious to them the instant it was committed to paper.

3. John Harbaugh, Kansas City Chiefs vs. Baltimore Ravens. With thirty-one seconds left on the clock, the ball on the Kansas City goal line, and a seven point lead, Baltimore coach John Harbaugh decides to try to run it into the end zone to build a fourteen point lead, cover the spread, and earn the eternal enmity of all the bookies in Las Vegas. What are the odds of getting a touchdown on fourth and goal from the 2 yard line? About 43%. From this distance, a field goal is essentially an extra point, and what are your chances of connecting on that? 98%. I know Harbaugh’s kicker is effectively a rookie and this ended up being irrelevant when they scored the touchdown, but this is an incredibly bad decision by an otherwise intelligent coach.

2. Patrick Mannelly, Chicago Bears vs. Green Bay Packers. This was a disastrous decision, but at least there was a certain logic to it. Mannelly correctly noted that Green Bay had twelve men on the field and tried to take advantage of it, snapping the ball directly to running back Garrett Wolfe with the prospect of getting a free play; either Wolfe runs for the first down and the penalty is declined, or Wolfe fails and the Bears punt from five yards further forward. Unfortunately for Mannelly, by the time he snapped the ball the Packers had cleared their twelfth man and there was no penalty – giving Green Bay the ball deep in Chicago territory with just twelve minutes left in the game.

1. Leodis McKelvin, Buffalo Bills vs. New England Patriots. Wow. Leodis managed to fuck up this play in just about every possible way. Instead of taking a knee in the end zone, he runs it upfield. Possibly in a quest for late-game glory, possibly in an ill-advised attempt to run the clock down to the two-minute warning, either way it’s a bad idea. And then, rather than finding his way towards the relative safety of the sideline, he darts up the center of the field and plunges into a crowd of tacklers (who have undoubtedly been properly coached by Beilichick to STRIP THE BALL in this situation). And then, rather than go down at the first sign of contact, he tries to stay on his feet and muscle through, prolonging the play until the Patriots gleefully strip him of the ball and the kicker – the kicker – recovers the fumble. I’m not sure we’ll be able to top this level of ineptitude this season, but if we do, it’s going to have to be something special.

Without further ado, here are your picks for Week 2!

(more…)

NFL Picks: Week 1

Welcome to Week 1! I can’t tell you how excited I am for this football season to get started. Vegas set the lines for these games almost a month ago, before preseason even began, and there’s been a bit of movement in a few games since then, but most lines have stayed pretty much the same. I think many people put a lot of stock in the changes that teams make from season to season (draft picks, free agent signings, coaching and system changes) but in truth the players and philosophy that make up the team’s core rarely change all that much during the offseason. Vegas tends to use this misconception to set a few traps. The computer’s historical performance in Week 1 doesn’t deviate much from its overall performance; the Weighted Win Percentage (WWP) is 54.3% compared to a lifetime WWP of 55.6%. Hedge bets during the first week tend to perform poorly, but this is balanced by the flip bets, which do quite well. There’s only one team that the computer is 90% confident about this week, and that’s the Atlanta Falcons. But the largest bet of the week is actually Philadelphia, where over 1/3 of the models call for a bet on the Eagles with 85% confidence. The other big bets are hedges on Denver, Detroit, and Oakland. It’s important to remember that the lines you see here are from when I placed my bets, and don’t necessarily reflect the final lines on each game. It’s also important that you listen to the computer, not me. The computer is better at this than I am. (more…)

The Friday Mixtape: 8/28/09

sumbitch

I know what you were expecting. “See You In September” or “Summer Nights” from Grease or, in a sarcastic vein, “School’s Out” — but we don’t need no steenkin’ kitsch. Your Popdose Pals have something else planned entirely.

September is more than just the unofficial end of summer; it’s also back-to-school time, and with the migratory return to dorms and classrooms comes the return to computers for the sake of homework. Did you know that new semesters are traditionally a heavy time for music downloading, probably because of all that new time at the PC or Mac? Neither did I, because I just made it up right here, but it kind of makes sense (even though it’s utter B.S. on my part.) The thought of increased downloading certainly wouldn’t cheer the beleaguered record labels, which through expansive & expensive special editions, Wal-Mart and Best Buy exclusives and the like are desperately trying to maintain market share. The Internet is evil, I tells ya.

Not really. To prove my point, I asked the staff to contribute a song, band or artist they found through the Internet. It could be from random surfing, suggestions via Facebook, Twitter or other social networks or even PR companies and their electronic press kits. The premise is that these introductions opened up new sounds, and new wallets, through this oft despised medium. Without further ado, I cede the floor to my colleagues and wish everyone a fine and functional new school year.

And to the rest who don’t have to go back to school, ha-ha! We don’t have to go back to school! (more…)

Product Review: Rosangel Tequila

rosangelIt’s hard to say no to a free bottle of tequila.  It’s even harder to write a review of that free tequila where you explain how the only way they could have made a less palatable product is by mashing up three turnips and a carrot, filtering the juice through a nylon stocking they found on the side of the interstate, and leaving the swill in an unwashed goldfish tank for two weeks to ferment using leftover saran wrap from a package of ground beef as a valve, then distilling it in a column made from the catalytic converter of a 1984 Oldsmobile.  Fortunately, this is not that review.

The Champs – “Tequila”

The free tequila in question is Rosangel, a hibiscus-infused version of Gran Centenario Reposado tequila.  It’s bottled in clear glass, which lets the pink hue of the hibiscus show.  The glass is incredibly solid – great for clubbing an opponent in a bar fight or preparing root mush – but the cork adds a touch of class that’s usually only seen in a nice bourbon or scotch.

A few friends and I drank the majority of this bottle while watching the classic British gangster film The Long Good Friday.  It’s well-suited to drink as a shot – the hibiscus flavor makes it much more interesting on its own – and survives the trip down your throat smoothly enough that a lime isn’t needed.  As long as you’re secure enough in your masculinity to handle the pink color (or sufficiently heedless of your femininity to drink straight tequila), it’s also fine for sipping. (more…)

CD Review: Silversun Pickups, “Swoon”

SwoonIn “There’s No Secrets this Year,” the first song on Swoon, the Silversun Pickups come out swinging for the fences.  If the band has been bothered by frequent comparisons to the Smashing Pumpkins, they don’t show any signs of it here.  It’s an auspicious track that makes the same kind of promises that “Cherub Rock” made as the opening track of Siamese Dream fifteen years ago.

The comparisons are apt.  The band enthusiastically acknowledges the Pumpkins as one of their primary influences, and even the appearance, gender, and ethnicity (a lanky vocalist, a female bassist, an Asian-American male) of their lineup is similar.  “There’s No Secrets this Year” showcases a number of the postive ways the Pumpkins have influenced the Pickups, as mulitple guitar overdubs and rattling drum rolls are assembled together into an ambitious, portentous opener.

(more…)

Exit Music (For a Film): “The Last Temptation of Christ”

In 1998, Terrence McNally’s play “Corpus Christi” was first performed in New York City. It wasn’t hard to predict that portraying Jesus as a promiscuous homosexual living in Corpus Christi, Texas would inspire vehement condemnation from religious groups – and it most certainly did, as “Christians” spewed death threats against the members of the Manhattan Theater Group that first produced the play, and when the play opened in London in 1999 a British Muslim group issued a fatwa calling for the assassination of the playwright.

A few clues exist in the gospels that suggest Jesus’ sexual preferences might have made it a little easier to ignore the charms of the prostitutes he was willing to defend.  Mentions of the “disciple who Jesus loved,” and “the kiss of Judas” provide fodder for interpretation, but in a larger sense, I think Jesus’ sexuality is entirely irrelevant with regards to the core message of his teachings.  Whether Jesus had any sexual nature at all affects his legacy no more than Morrisey’s sexuality affects his lyrics or whether Kevin Spacey’s sexual preference influences the roles he inhabits.

The Film: The Last Temptation of Christ

The Song: “It Is Accomplished”

The Artist: Peter Gabriel

(more…)

Popdose Gets ‘Faced: The Ultimate Drinking Mixtape

faced

A couple months ago, Jeff mentioned to me that he was thinking of putting together the Ultimate Drinking Mixtape in time for St. Patrick’s Day. I got so excited that I persuaded him to immediately open the floor to suggestions from the Popdose writers. And the song requests flowed in.

As the resident souse of the Popdose staff, I felt it was my responsibility to filter through the ideas that emerged and weave them together into something slightly more coherent than the drunken rantings I’d occasionally find typed out on my computer during the extensive beta-testing process. Later, during gamma-testing, the songs started to find their ways into groups. Finally, when I reached the delta-testing phase, things had been organized into chapters that celebrate the many different aspects of that delightful elixir that can lift or lower our spirits, make us in turn beautiful or ugly, and loosen or tangle our tongues with equal abandon.

Here’s the full tape – 116 minutes of pure malt goodness, with some wonderful words of wisdom sprinkled in.  Just add liquor.

The Ultimate Drinking Mixtape

A playlist follows the jump, but I feel I must warn you – it goes down a lot smoother if you drink straight from the bottle.

(more…)

Chartburn: 1/23/09

Chartburn Logo


Mainstream Rock: Blue Oyster Cult, “Burnin’ for You” (1981)

Mike: One of exactly two Blue Oyster Cult songs I’m familiar with (I’m sure we can all guess what the other one is). It’s the kind of meathead early Eighties rock I dig. Whenever I hear the intro I envision a laser-light show.

Dunphy: Otherwise known as “the other good Blue Oyster Cult song,” “Burnin’ For You” is just a nice old slice of hard rock. Buck Dharma’s thick harmony “aaaah aaaahs” lean more toward The Cars than the macabre graveyard imagery the band ordinarily toyed with, but that’s where music was going in 1981. I like it.

Taylor: I wrote a Lost MP3 on this song awhile back. I have the return of KROCK to thank for reminding me how awesome it is. It’s pretty much flawless from the start – the exultant opening riff, the more subtle guitar that sort of tick-tocks, the beefy chorus. I have the ask, though, what the hell are they wearing in the video?

David: I will be the first to admit that my knowledge of Blue Oyster Cult boils down to four songs: the cowbell song, “Godzilla,” “Shooting Shark,” and this. So here’s my question: are these guys really a hard rock band, or just a rock band that occasionally kicked out the jams? I’ve always had the impression that these guys didn’t deserve the title of hard rockers, and this song – along with “Shooting Shark,” which I actually really like – are my evidence. Am I standing on faulty ground?

Zack: Not at all – while this song and “Reaper” rock incredibly hard, I wouldn’t describe either one as hard rock. (more…)

No Concessions: *Top 10 List 2008

noconcessionsThere was a time, not too long ago, that when the Oscar nominations were announced, I’d seen all the nominated films. Indeed, I’d seen all the significant movies of the year. My Top 10 list would have been signed, sealed, and delivered at least a week ago.

But fatherhood has a way of devouring that moviegoing time. Days spent at double features are instead devoted to bottles and diapers. Where I once had an aisle seat, I now have a blue “Bumbo” at my feet, with a gurgling baby girl as my companion.

This has added a welcome new dimension to my life, but subtracted from my list-building. So I have to put an asterisk by this year’s list, and revisit it sometime this summer, by which I’ll have seen the best of the rest on DVD. Right?

Without further ado, my not-quite-complete, needs-work, snapshot of a *Top 10 list as of right now:

10) Chop Shop. The American Slumdog Millionaire. No, not hardly, but if that gets you to rent it I’ll have done my job and you won’t mind the misinformation. A realistic slice-of-immigrant-life set in the repair shops and garbage dumps of Willets Point, Queens is the second, excellent film from Ramin Bahrani, after Man Push Cart. He makes invisible lives, hidden in plain sight, tangible.

9) The Visitor. The way more commercially successful Gran Torino is like the McCain response to this more nuanced, waiting-for-Obama drama, with Oscar nominee Richard Jenkins suddenly confronting the immigrant underclass, and doing his bit to relieve the war on terror waged upon them. (more…)