Title: “The Lumberjack Song”
Album: Jackyl
Release Date: 1992

Why You Remember Them: You cannot imagine how often, in the research of this column, one comes across the phrase “lumped into the hair metal category,” as though being a cornball Southern-rock outfit with a wacky-eyed lead singer and a schlong obsession is better. Jackyl formed in 1990 as a hair meta … ahem, Southern-rock boogie band, but if you’ve read this far you’re probably going, “The jags with the chainsaw, right?” Right.

Total Sales: Jackyl moved 1.35 million units in 1992, making me sad for 1992.

Key Tracks: “Down on Me,” “The Lumberjack Song,” “I Stand Alone”

OK, But I’m Pretty Sure Those Are Dogs on the Cover of This Album: Right, you tell the chainsaw-wielding redneck he’s got his canids misidentified.

GET THE EFF OUT OF HERE, BRENDAN O’BRIEN?: Before resorting to producing hillbilly crap by “Bruce Springsteen” and “Pearl Jam,” O’Brien ran with the big dogs. I am desperately hoping these are people who still keep in touch.

Jesse: “Brendan, it’s Jesse, listen, I have a great idea for a new track that…”
Brendan: “(interrupting) Does it have a chainsaw?”
Jesse: “Yes.”
Brendan: “Christ.” (click)

Best Part of Their Wikipedia Entry: “(Dupree) once had been asked, “How the hell can you play a chainsaw?” to which he responded, “How the hell can you not play a chainsaw?” Got me there, longhair.

These Guys Seem Like Candidates to Write An Ass-Kicking Post 9-11 Song: No kidding! That’s when they released “Open Invitation,” a ass-whuppin’ number that featured clips of Bush reading from the Bible and lyrics like “I hate you, Bin Laden.” and “You’ve got an open invitation to kiss our ass.” The track received “wide airplay,” according to the Web. The Web and I disagree on this crucial point.

Get This: AC/DC singer Brian Johnson lent vocals to the 1997 “Locked and Loaded,” which the Web calls a “hit song.” The Web and I also disagree on this crucial point. Johnson also pitched in on the band’s 2002 album Relentless, because Dupree sounds exactly like him.

Number of Woodstocks These Pinheads Played:
Just ’94, in Saugerties.

True or False, Jesse Dupree named his 2000 solo debut Ankles Are Awesome: Ha! False, of course. It was actually called Foot Fetish.

Sweet Christ, They Actually Covered:
“I Am The Walrus,” and the increasingly inescapable hair-metal karaoke track of choice, “We’re An American Band.”

Most Improbable Song Title: “Mr. Evil.” We would have also accepted “Billy Badass.”

Pre-Nirvana Song Titles: “Dirty Little Mind,” “Redneck Punk,” “She Loves My Cock”

Post-Nirvana Song Titles: “I Am the I Am,” “Private Hell”

Recent News: Dupree and Tom Green got into a fight during recess on The New Tom Green Show, beating the Insane Clown Posse’s recent appearance on Stern as the Room I’d Most Like to Drop a Flaming Steamroller On.

Arbitarily Scored Ferocity of Devil-Horns Thrust: Three. Plus two points deducted for getting into a feud with Tom Green.

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