In the mid â€˜80s, Dead Milkmen were a college radio programmerâ€™s wet dream. They were smart, snotty, and loud at a time when most bands were polished and pre-recorded. They made fun of anyone and everyone. They even took a shot at Stevie Ray Vaughn once, calling him a â€œcheesy Texas motherfucker.â€ (As tempting as it is to pass judgment on the band for making such a claim, it appears that time has already done that on our behalf.)
It was therefore only a matter of time before Dead Milkmen set their sights on the dance-oriented bands that were stealing their college radio glory. And what better way to defeat your enemy than by singing his song: â€œInstant Club Hit (Youâ€™ll Dance to Anything)â€ (download), from the bandâ€™s 1987 album Bucky Fellini, is completely programmed — save for one well-timed outburst on guitar — and in fact it appears they deliberately used machines that were already outdated, in order to prove their point about the musicâ€™s disposability. Depeche Mode, Siouxsie & the Banshees, the Smiths, Public Image Ltd. and Book of Love — all of whom, curiously, will be the subject of future White Label Friday features — suffer the Milkmenâ€™s wrath, along with the â€œdanceteria typesâ€ who worshiped them. You want to put an indelible time stamp on your music? Use a word like â€˜danceteria.â€™
The club DJs, of course, loved â€œInstant Club Hit.â€ Even the ones with 80 pounds of makeup on their art school skin thought it was funny. I mean, how do you not love a song that tells the people dancing to it that theyâ€™re all a bunch of art fags?