You think you could do this job? Do you? Do you really?[youtube id=”XemtXy7aAWA” width=”600″ height=”350″]
That is Farrah Abraham, who is/was one of the stars of MTV’s Teen Mom, although I had never heard of her until a few days ago. “Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom” is a single she released last August, if by “released” we mean “dredged up from a hitherto-uncharted hole in the deepest precinct of Hell.” I suppose one can’t entirely blame Abraham for this. After all, somebody else had to “write” it and “produce” it, if by “write” “and “produce” we mean “arrange to withdraw the protection of a loving God from the planet he created.”
Farrah has apparently released a whole goddamn album, on which are auto-tuned other random vocalizations that occasionally resemble human speech. Go looking for it if you want, don’t go looking for it if you want, I don’t care. I’m going off to pray for my own swift death.