Fake music is no joke. Sometimes people can roll their eyes at a fictitious band playing it for laughs in TV or movies. But what makes the truly great ones is when the music is actually good. They become something you want to listen to over and over, and once that happens voila: The songs can mean as much as any “real” music.
With that in mind, I want to present to you 25 fake bands that I would really love to see perform live. When it’s done right, the music is first class and the songs themselves are catchy AF.
Just a couple of parameters before we get on with it. These bands need to be acts that commanded a real stage, not garage bands. So sorry, Jesse & The Rippers and Hep Alien, you’re not making it. And as much as we love Citizen Dick in Singles, we really don’t see them perform.
Then as far as fictitious creations go, some great ones spilled over into reality too much with actual real-world tours and fans. Blues Brothers, The Partridge Family and The Monkees (and maybe even Lenny and the Squigtones) crossover success is disqualifying.
But hey, enough of my yakking. Whaddya say, let’s boogie!
1. The Kid – Purple Rain
Not Prince, just an incredible simulation. In the real world these songs made up the best album of 1984, maybe the best of the 1980s and maybe the best record ever. How much would you kill to see The Kid at First Ave?
2. Tony Ferrino – Tony Ferrino Phenomenon
From an incredible Steve Coogan BBC special if you can find it. Steve Coogan is synonymous with his Alan Partridge character, but I feel either Saxondale or Tony Ferrino is his greatest creation. The Tony Ferrino album is incredible start to finish; “Silence Of The Lambs” is my ringtone for my sister.
3. Spinal Tap – This Is Spinal Tap
There are so many successful eras for these legends, not including their freeform-jazz-odyssey without Nigel. Yes, they’re metal legends but ’60s era “Gimme Some Money” is just fantastic.
4. Style Boys – Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Sure, their early stuff with “Donkey Roll” was what made this band, but you can tell with “Incredible Thoughts” that the whole band was evolving.
5. Dewey Cox – Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
You get so many genres in a Dewey Cox show: country, rock and roll, lush Brian Wilson arrangements, verbose Dylan stuff. But damn if I don’t love variety show era Dewey the best. Shoutout to my guy Michael Andrews for composing all of the songs in Walk Hard.
6. The Clash at Demonhead – Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
I like them so much better than Scott Pilgrim’s band Sex Bob-Omb, it’s not even funny, and I resent him for breaking up The Clash at Demonhead. In reality, their music was written by real-life band Metric, so this band almost does exist.
7. Test Pattern – Documentary Now!
The real world has Talking Heads and the fictional world gets Test Pattern. I agree with Marky in the band: “I don’t love the Balinese stuff.” The rest is art-rock gold. I still regret kinda knowing about but not attending to be an extra in the theater when they filmed this episode.
8. The Wonders – That Thing You Do!
We all know The One-Ders for their hit “That Thing You Do,” but I’m posting the clip of Lenny singing lead on “Dance With Me Tonight.” Outside of this movie, several of these songs really could stand alone nicely.
9. The New Main Street Singers – A Mighty Wind
Yeah, The Folksmen have the integrity, but this is the band I would rather see. I wanted to get cute and link “The Good Book Song,” which is really worth your time, but how could I leave out the bonkers Terry Bohner harmonies from this neuftet? They’ve got more hits than you think, including “Potatoes In The Paddy Wagon.”
10. Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem – The Muppet Show
Have you seen a better horn section from either a fictional or real band? Just like a Dead show could be disappointing if Jerry was on the junk, the same goes for Janice in DT&TEM. It’s an all-star band, and Animal is the felt Keith Moon.
11. Guy & Girl – Once
They broke up, as a band and a couple, before they really had a chance to play live together. But damn that record they made was so good even the jaded rental studio engineer had to appreciate it. There are multiple legit emotional haymakers here.
12. The Schmenges – SCTV
This really is the Last Waltz of polka. Yosh and Stan toss so many little playful things in their arrangements, the knowledgeable music lover is the ideal audience. And when you throw in special guest Linsk Minyuk as a bonus, that’s why this makes the cut.
13. Randy Watson & Sexual Chocolate – Coming to America
Yes, there’s not a lot of originals in his catalogue. We all know his killer interpretation of “The Greatest Love Of All,” but everybody’s on their feet for “We Are Family.”
14. Eddie & The Cruisers – Eddie & The Cruisers
The Springsteen vibes are undeniable. And Eddie was really showing some great artistic development on that last second album, if only the band wasn’t fighting him. That said, the Rimbaud poetry references were a bit pretentious.
15. Infant Sorrow / Aldous Snow – Get Him to the Greek
Aldous Snow is a legitimate rock star. You wouldn’t like to see a live show of “The Clap,” “Going Up,” and “Inside You”? Sure, when they launch into “African Child” it’s time to duck out to the restroom, but the rest of the evening is gold.
16. Bob Roberts – Bob Roberts
A pure guilty pleasure, I wouldn’t be able to admit that I paid money to see a fascist reactionary folk singer. But damn, the songs are catchy. In reality, Tim Robbins didn’t release an album because he thought people would sing along with the uber right-wing sentiment. He was probably right.
17. The Rutles – All You Need Is Cash
Eric Idle and Neil Innis absolutely crushed it walking a thin line between close parodies of The Beatles but with enough originality for these songs to succeed on their own. The Beatles never toured after 1965, so you could argue that the best Beatles live show ever was done by The Rutles.
18. Stillwater – Almost Famous
Outside the Top 10 just because they seem stuck in ’70s rock. Lots of people make the mistake of thinking this is all about guitarist golden god Russell Hammond, but don’t sleep on lead singer Jeff Bebe: “I look for the guy who isn’t getting off, and I make him get off.”
19. Buckaroo Banzai & The Hong Kong Cavaliers – The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
That neurosurgeon test pilot is a hell of a frontman. The band is rock solid as well: Perfect Tommy, New Jersey, Reno, Rawhide, et al. An indescribable ’80s movie relic, and peak John Lithgow. Remember, wherever you go: there you are.
20. Jess Robin – The Jazz Singer
The performance at the end is as good as any Neil Diamond show, not just “America,” but “Summer Love” is sneaky great. Although we really have to deduct some points for Jess breaking out the blackface to sub it for his friend’s group. I wish I were kidding.
21. Jim & Al Cody – Inside Llewyn Davis
Lists like this are supposed to name-check the Soggy Bottom Boys from O Brother Where Art Thou?, but when it comes to Coen brothers musical groups (yes, Autobahn is incredible too) for folk, this novelty hit is a ton more fun and less like homework – would love to see this on a stage.
22. The Sorels – Streets of Fire
Yes, it’s Ellen Aim and the Attackers that’s the main band in the film, but I’d rather buy a ticket for The Sorels, who seem like The Temptations with a bit more rock and roll in there.
23. The Blue Jean Committee – Documentary Now!
It’s a rock tragedy that they broke up so soon. Seeing them live and catching Clark’s famous falsetto would be mind-blowing. Plus, there would certainly be plenty of Catalina Coolers at the concession stand.
24. The Commitments – The Commitments
I fell in love with Ireland in this movie years before I fell in love with Ireland for real. These guys never landed the big stage – but their version of “Try A Little Tenderness” is every bit as good as Paul Giamatti’s version in Duets is bad.
25. Mouse Rat – Parks & Recreation
They started as a Dave Matthews cover band, but really evolved. “5000 Candles In The Wind” is an anthem for horsey heaven. And you might just get a walk on guest from Duke Silver or Johnny Karate.
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