I had an English professor who used to preach to my class, “Why is a cliche a cliche? Because it works.”
I understood his point in context and especially about writing – when in doubt, don’t feel badly about leaning on tropes and convention when creating; storytelling has successfully relied on the principles of Aristotle for 2000 years.
Yet when it comes to how we live our lives, no one wants to be a cliche.
So, why are people still afraid to declare that they like their steaks well-done, they don’t like watching subtitled movies, or they hate jazz – simply because that’s not cool?
We Know Better
It’s amazing. Many of us realize that these micro-displays of “cool” are mostly arbitrary and then still feel guilty about liking what we like.
Speaking of the word “guilt,” why do we have to preface our love of The Real Housewives of Melbourne as a “guilty pleasure”?
If everyone knows these hierarchies are mostly constructed, why do they still feel socially binding in real time conversations?
I don’t think I’ve ever eaten Thai food with a group of people where at least one person doesn’t get goaded into ordering a higher level of spice, effectively making their meal a celebrity-less version of Hot Ones.
Status Signal to Noise
Of course, we’re all a little bit performative. Social media was built on the concept that people want to present themselves one way, while actually living another.
Some of this classic performative taste has been around and annoying people well before Mark Zuckerberg started rating women with his buddies in a dorm room.
Every major city in America has a floundering symphony and/or opera. Then when they’re about to go under, the citizens lament that “we can’t let this happen, we’re a first-class city!” All from people who couldn’t pick Madame Butterfly out of a police lineup.
We’ve all got the one friend who can’t wait to tell people, “I don’t even OWN a TV.” Or they criticize the Seattle Times or the Houston Chronicle as an inferior newspaper, like they serve on the Pulitzer Prize committee.
Or the hipsterish anti sports crowd – who cares if it brings the majority of people on the planet a lot of joy and happens to be the only form of entertainment without predictable endings.
Even when we recognize how performative this sounds, we still absorb the social rules around it.
Let Your Uncool Freak Flag Fly
Taking all of that into account, we still whisper our orders for mild Mexican food or a well-cooked steak, half hoping not to be noticed.
Why?
The stakes for these decisions couldn’t be lower. If you don’t know how to pronounce French or you don’t listen to music on vinyl, who the fuck should care at this point?
At some point we have to let go of the notion that “I prefer X” still functions like “I am XXX kind of person.”
I Shouldn’t Have to Say This …
These are all obvious with even 10 seconds of consideration, but I’ll write about them anyway.
- If you’re on the socially cool side of the fence, ask yourself if you really like it?
- If on the uncool side but know it’s something you like, then go ahead and own it.
Cool Is Binary
Lots of these choices are binary: spicy or mild, rare or well-done, vinyl collector or not an annoying jackass.
Unfortunately, it just comes down to which side you’re on, and the other side isn’t cool.
As I keep proving around here, if there’s a point to be made then it’s best made by a standup comedian – George Carlin in this case:
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