Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 68

After what will probably go down as the worst week in the Bottom Feeders series, we crank it up a notch with some superstar artists and some really well-known songs. HereÁ¢€â„¢s another week of artists whose names begin with the letter P, as we continue looking at songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.

Pet Shop Boys
Á¢€Å“Love Comes QuicklyÁ¢€ — 1986, #62 (download)
Á¢€Å“SuburbiaÁ¢€ — 1986, #70 (download)
Á¢€Å“Left to My Own DevicesÁ¢€ — 1989, #84 (download)

Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe are awesome. If you’re unfamiliar with Pet Shop Boys, pick up PopArt: The Hits (2003) for a near-flawless retrospective of their career. WhatÁ¢€â„¢s most amazing about that double album is that itÁ¢€â„¢s not in sequential order, yet the Á¢€Ëœ80s Pet Shop Boys sound still melds well with their new-millennium tunes. I admit, though, that I kind of lost track of them after their 1996 album Bilingual, even though I think that album is excellent. They are probably going to be my next Á¢€Å“catalogÁ¢€ artist, where I have to own everything they put out (which canÁ¢€â„¢t be easy with a dance-oriented duo like these guys, what with the million remixes and side projects). Both Á¢€Å“Love Comes QuicklyÁ¢€ and Á¢€Å“SuburbiaÁ¢€ are from their debut album, Please; Á¢€Å“Left to My Own DevicesÁ¢€ comes from their third studio album, Introspective.

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Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Á¢€Å“Here Comes My GirlÁ¢€ — 1980, #59 (download)
Á¢€Å“A Woman in Love (ItÁ¢€â„¢s Not Me)Á¢€ — 1981, #79 (download)
Á¢€Å“Make It Better (Forget About Me)Á¢€ — 1985, #54 (download)
Á¢€Å“RebelsÁ¢€ — 1985, #74 (download)

I go back and forth on Tom Petty all the time. IÁ¢€â„¢m pretty sure Damn the Torpedoes is the only full Heartbreakers album I like. I definitely dig his Á¢€Å“soloÁ¢€ records, 1989Á¢€â„¢s Full Moon Fever and 1994Á¢€â„¢s Wildflowers, much more than any record the group put out. IÁ¢€â„¢m not saying I donÁ¢€â„¢t like Petty, but on some days I find his music boring, while on others I find it exhilarating. ItÁ¢€â„¢s tough for me to even understand, but with a song like Á¢€Å“DonÁ¢€â„¢t Come Around Here No More,” some days I completely recognize the genius, and other days I can’t listen to it. Somehow I donÁ¢€â„¢t think IÁ¢€â„¢ll ever come to a set conclusion on Messrs. Petty, Tench, Campbell, Lynch, and Epstein/Blair.

Mike Pinera
Á¢€Å“Goodnight My LoveÁ¢€ — 1980, #70 (download)

This limp-wristed song from 1980 is another supertough-to-find single from a guy thatÁ¢€â„¢s been in a mess of groups IÁ¢€â„¢ve never heard of (Blues Image, Ramatam, New Cactus) and one I have (Iron Butterfly). After releasing this he joined Alice CooperÁ¢€â„¢s band for three years, and if this song is any indication, itÁ¢€â„¢s no wonder AliceÁ¢€â„¢s career tanked in the decade.

Pink Floyd
Á¢€Å“Run Like HellÁ¢€ — 1980, #53 (download)
Á¢€Å“Learning to FlyÁ¢€ — 1987, #70 (download)

ItÁ¢€â„¢s interesting how this post progresses. YouÁ¢€â„¢ve got the superstar group I love (Pet Shop Boys), the one I waver on (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers), and now the one I canÁ¢€â„¢t stand. Okay, so Á¢€Å“canÁ¢€â„¢t standÁ¢€ is a little harsh as I canÁ¢€â„¢t possibly shit on Dark Side, but even other “classics,” like The Wall, I canÁ¢€â„¢t listen to. I guess their spacey, psychedelic prog-rock isnÁ¢€â„¢t for everyone, which is probably why I can actually listen to Á¢€Å“Learning to Fly,Á¢€ since itÁ¢€â„¢s pretty accessible. I have a feeling IÁ¢€â„¢ll get myself into a world of hurt if I go on and on about these guys, so IÁ¢€â„¢ll leave the rest of the Pink Floyd discussion up to you.

Planet P Project
Á¢€Å“Why Me?Á¢€ — 1983, #64 (download)

On the other hand, maybe tossing a science-fiction theme into my prog-rock is the key, because I love Á¢€Å“Why Me?Á¢€ In fact, the entire debut self-titled record from this Tony Carey-fronted group is pretty awesome. Just a note that renowned drummer Hartmut Pfannmueller performed on the record. Actually, I have no idea who he is. I just like typing “Pfannmueller.”

Robert Plant
Á¢€Å“Burning Down One SideÁ¢€ — 1982, #64 (download)
Á¢€Å“Pledge PinÁ¢€ — 1982, #74 (download)
Á¢€Å“Ship of FoolsÁ¢€ — 1988, #84 (download)

And we cycle right back around to a superstar artist that I love. It took me many years to really enjoy Zeppelin, and even more years to pick up on Robert Plant solo, but now that I have, I realize that heÁ¢€â„¢s made some awesome albums. IÁ¢€â„¢m a bit surprised that he didnÁ¢€â„¢t have a bigger solo career; I mean, the guy did come from one of the greatest rock bands ever. The first two tracks here come from his solo debut, Pictures at Eleven, and feature Phil Collins on drums. Á¢€Å“Ship of FoolsÁ¢€ is from Now and Zen, which was the closest heÁ¢€â„¢d come to ZeppelinÁ¢€â„¢s sound (well, with the addition of electronics) since they broke up.

Platinum Blonde
Á¢€Å“Somebody SomewhereÁ¢€ — 1986, #82 (download)

Á¢€Å“Somebody SomewhereÁ¢€ is the only charting single in the U.S. for Canadian (via England) new-wave artist Platinum Blonde. While Á¢€Å“Somebody SomewhereÁ¢€ can certainly be considered new wave, if you look at the album cover from the record this was on, Alien Shores, they are one poofy hairdo away from being a glam rock band.

Player
Á¢€Å“ItÁ¢€â„¢s for YouÁ¢€ — 1980, #46 (download)
Á¢€Å“If Looks Could KillÁ¢€ — 1982, #48 (download)

Every place I read about Player, they’re called a Á¢€Å“rockÁ¢€ band. I guess I find it funny what was considered rock music in the early Á¢€Ëœ80s, although Á¢€Å“soft rockÁ¢€ is a form of rock, I suppose. Either way, these were the final two of six total singles for Player before they broke up. (Note: Player reunited for a minute in the ’90s, and thanks to those stupid Swiffer commercials, they’re back together again and planning a new album. Thanks a lot, Swiffer! –Ed.)

Pleasure
Á¢€Å“GlideÁ¢€ — 1979, #55 (download)

I should have known better than to type Á¢€Å“Pleasure GlideÁ¢€ into a search engine. At least now I know where to get moderately priced lube. The group Pleasure was a small funk band that released four albums before finally getting a hit with Á¢€Å“GlideÁ¢€ off their next-to-last record, Future Now. I donÁ¢€â„¢t know anything else from Pleasure, but if they sounded like this on other records, IÁ¢€â„¢m surprised they werenÁ¢€â„¢t a bigger hit.

Plimsouls
Á¢€Å“A Million Miles AwayÁ¢€ — 1983, #82 (download)

The Plimsouls’ Á¢€Å“A Million Miles AwayÁ¢€ is exactly the type of song that fits this series perfectly. A catchy little new-wave-ish ditty from the Valley Girl soundtrack, this was their only hit, but it can be found on countless Á¢€Ëœ80s comps.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Pet Shop Boys, Á¢€Å“SuburbiaÁ¢€
Worst song: Mike Pinera, Á¢€Å“Goodnight My LoveÁ¢€

TOP 40 ONLY
Jim Photoglo (2)

Next week we get the worst remix of the decade, and the third and final song in the Á¢€Å“unholy trilogy.Á¢€