We all know Hollywood is bereft of ideas and has been for a good long time. There’s still no reason why we should lead them to awful choices, and yet Popdose insists — nay, demands! — to speak the name of atrocity aloud. It’s called “Don’t Give ‘Em Any Ideas” for a reason, folks!

Zach to the Future (2012): Between 2009 and 2010, Zach Galifianakis made over 14 different film and television appearances. He has been contracted to double that in 2011 alone, but that apparently isn’t good enough. Now, from visionary director Robert Zemeckis comes this fantasy tale of an overexposed comic actor sent to the past to star in EVERY MOVIE THAT HAS EVER BEEN!

Through the miracle of CGI, Zach Galifianakis can be inserted into dead-eyed facsimiles of every movie ever filmed! Witness the splendor as he sets the South ablaze, literally, in Gone With Zach’s Wind, or dances a jig down the yellow brick road in The Galifiniakis Of Oz, or glares disapprovingly at Linda Lovelace in Zach’s Throat.

But wait, there’s more! You also get Zach spotted in candid shots with both Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, catch a glimpse of his magnificent beard on the grassy knoll in The Zapruder Film, stroll with him and Neil Armstrong across the surface of the moon – hell, he’s even been inserted into my baby pictures! The point is that now, through the miracle of modern cinema, Zack Galifianiakis can be gently wedged into every single piece of celluloid and digital imagery, Zelig-like, for all to see, forever and ever. And after you’ve gone and they’ve boxed you up for your wake, all the photos on the memory board next to the casket will be of Zach Galifianiakis, as God intended!

And as a special treat, Zach will personally escort you to the theater and feed you your popcorn, kernel by kernel, in the auditorium. Doesn’t that sound grand?

This film is rated G. I know you can guess why.

About the Author

Dw. Dunphy

Dw. Dunphy is a writer, artist, and musician. As a senior editor for Popdose he has contributed many articles that can be found in the site's archives. He also writes for New Jersey Stage, Musictap.net, Ultimate Classic Rock, and Diffuser FM. His music can be found at http://dwdunphy.bandcamp.com/.

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