There are few things more interesting, in my opinion, than a bloated, washed-up old rock star. And if the rock star in question has a blog, well, that’s just fascinating.

Some of you may be too young (*shudder*) to remember Asia, the 1980s supergroup that brought together members of King Crimson, Yes, The Buggles, and Emerson, Lake, & Palmer. You may never have heard any of their remarkably pompous and sterile hits. If you don’t, and you haven’t, this may not be quite as funny to you as it is to me, but that’s just the price you pay for being young and foolish. Life isn’t fair.

Anyway, being that I wrote about music to pay the bills for a decade or so, and I regularly troll Melodic Rock, I’m fairly in the know when it comes to these dirty old has-beens. Asia’s original lineup hasn’t been able to stay together for more than a few months at a time since about 1985, leaving keyboard player Geoffrey Downes to soldier on with a band that calls itself “Asia” but includes none of the other founding members. It was recently announced that Downes and the original Asia singer, John Wetton, had patched up their differences long enough to record a new album together. They’re calling themselves Icon:

The album is out in Europe. I hear it’s selling well. No, I haven’t heard it, and I don’t really plan to. Now, enough with the plugs–on to the poking fun.

As I was reading about this Icon project, I came across Geoffrey Downes’ blog, and it is wonderful, in an honest-to-God, Spinal-Tap-come-to-life sort of way. In a sense, I really think you’ve got to hand it to the guy for being so honest. But on the other, I can’t help laughing at passages like this one:

We did the show to Asia’s worst ever attendance in the history of the band (38 people) tonight.

Or photos like these:

Wetton and Downes in the studio

That’s me, landing in my spacecraft during the keys solo.

Downes and his latest version of Asia just wrapped up a tour of Slovenia. Yes, that’s right, Slovenia.

So listen, if you think you’re having a shitty day, or your career is in the toilet, just remember: At least you aren’t schlepping a “spacecraft” onto a tour bus in Eastern Europe after playing a set of your moldy hits in front of 38 people.

About the Author

Jeff Giles

Jeff Giles is the founder and editor-in-chief of Popdose and Dadnabbit, as well as an entertainment writer whose work can be seen at Rotten Tomatoes and a number of other sites. Hey, why not follow him at Twitter while you're at it?

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