I don’t know whether or not they still publish it, but when I was a kid, Marvel Comics had a title called What If? that answered questions like “What If…Spider-Man was a villain???” or “What If…Wolverine joined S.H.I.E.L.D.???”
Or, uh, what if the Hulk became a barbarian.
Anyway, What If? popped into my head this morning as I listened to an advance leak of Yeah!, the upcoming Def Leppard covers album. This is because listening to Yeah! is like hearing the answer to the question “What If…Def Leppard played weddings and bar mitzvahs?”
Not that I think anybody was really asking that question. This is probably the dullest, most uninspired, most strictly competent record I’ve heard all year — not good enough to listen to, not bad enough to hate. It’s a CD-length shrug. I don’t know that the world really needs another album of original material from these guys — they could have quit after Hysteria for everything they’ve done since — but if they really feel the need to continue pressing on, they should at least have the decency to leave stuff like this for their B-sides.
Eh. Whatever. Here are a few songs; judge for yourself. It’s been awhile since I’ve heard it, but I’m pretty sure Michael Damian’s cover of “Rock On” was better than this one (download), and he isn’t even really a singer. “No Matter What” (download) is a great song that seems almost idiot-proof, but apparently isn’t. The worst, though, is this pointless cover of the Faces’ “Stay With Me” (download), which somehow manages to sound almost exactly like the classic original version, yet also utterly suck.
What a perfectly stupid album for a Monday. I need to go find something good to listen to now.