It’s called B(e), pronounced “B-to-the-E,” and it’s Budweiser’s latest innovation in their quest to make terrible beer. “Hey, people like Red Bull in their vodka,” say the Bud geniuses. “Why not add it to our sort-of-beer-like beverage?”
Four ten-ounce bottles will cost you $8. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, and because I had my last final tonight, and on account of how I love you all so much, I ponied up the dough. Then I endured five minutes of embarrassment while every employee on shift at BevMo tried to find the SKU for this shit. I would rather have been waiting for a price check on tampons, let me tell you.
Now, I’ve never had a Red Bull, and I’ve never had Bud, except for once at a hockey game when I didn’t know what was in the cup, so I don’t have a great frame of reference here. But I do know beer. I figure I can reliably judge B(e) on taste merits. I took my good frosted mug out of the freezer and poured away:
First thing you notice is that it smells funny. Not beer-y. It smells weak and sickly sweet. Not a good sign, but actually a pretty fair summation of the way it goes down. I could try to put the experience into words, but I think Leah’s photo essay says it all:
get off my taste buds
No. No. No.
After that last picture was taken, I actually spit in the glass. It really is that awful. I hear Rainier Beer is pretty crummy, but this has got to be the Worst Beer Ever.