Title: “The Lumberjack Song”
Album: Jackyl
Release Date: 1992

Why You Remember Them: You cannot imagine how often, in the research of this column, one comes across the phrase “lumped into the hair metal category,” as though being a cornball Southern-rock outfit with a wacky-eyed lead singer and a schlong obsession is better. Jackyl formed in 1990 as a hair meta … ahem, Southern-rock boogie band, but if you’ve read this far you’re probably going, “The jags with the chainsaw, right?” Right.

Total Sales: Jackyl moved 1.35 million units in 1992, making me sad for 1992.

Key Tracks: “Down on Me,” “The Lumberjack Song,” “I Stand Alone”

OK, But I’m Pretty Sure Those Are Dogs on the Cover of This Album: Right, you tell the chainsaw-wielding redneck he’s got his canids misidentified.

GET THE EFF OUT OF HERE, BRENDAN O’BRIEN?: Before resorting to producing hillbilly crap by “Bruce Springsteen” and “Pearl Jam,” O’Brien ran with the big dogs. I am desperately hoping these are people who still keep in touch.

Jesse: “Brendan, it’s Jesse, listen, I have a great idea for a new track that…”
Brendan: “(interrupting) Does it have a chainsaw?”
Jesse: “Yes.”
Brendan: “Christ.” (click)

Best Part of Their Wikipedia Entry: “(Dupree) once had been asked, “How the hell can you play a chainsaw?” to which he responded, “How the hell can you not play a chainsaw?” Got me there, longhair.

These Guys Seem Like Candidates to Write An Ass-Kicking Post 9-11 Song: No kidding! That’s when they released “Open Invitation,” a ass-whuppin’ number that featured clips of Bush reading from the Bible and lyrics like “I hate you, Bin Laden.” and “YouÁ¢€â„¢ve got an open invitation to kiss our ass.” The track received “wide airplay,” according to the Web. The Web and I disagree on this crucial point.

Get This: AC/DC singer Brian Johnson lent vocals to the 1997 “Locked and Loaded,” which the Web calls a “hit song.” The Web and I also disagree on this crucial point. Johnson also pitched in on the band’s 2002 album Relentless, because Dupree sounds exactly like him.

Number of Woodstocks These Pinheads Played:
Just ’94, in Saugerties.

True or False, Jesse Dupree named his 2000 solo debut Ankles Are Awesome: Ha! False, of course. It was actually called Foot Fetish.

Sweet Christ, They Actually Covered:
“I Am The Walrus,” and the increasingly inescapable hair-metal karaoke track of choice, “We’re An American Band.”

Most Improbable Song Title: “Mr. Evil.” We would have also accepted “Billy Badass.”

Pre-Nirvana Song Titles: “Dirty Little Mind,” “Redneck Punk,” “She Loves My Cock”

Post-Nirvana Song Titles: “I Am the I Am,” “Private Hell”

Recent News: Dupree and Tom Green got into a fight during recess on The New Tom Green Show, beating the Insane Clown Posse’s recent appearance on Stern as the Room I’d Most Like to Drop a Flaming Steamroller On.

Arbitarily Scored Ferocity of Devil-Horns Thrust: Three. Plus two points deducted for getting into a feud with Tom Green.

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