Hang on, folks, we’ve only got a couple more days of Mellowmas ahead, and these last few – ESPECIALLY DAY TWELVE – are going to rock.  (By "rock," I mean…well, you know what I mean.)  Today we’re listening to a song that was recommended by not one, but TWO readers, which means it must really be mellow.  And away we go!

Jim Croce – It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way (download)
From Life and Times, but more easily purchased through The Definitive Collection

Jeff: So much separation!

Jason: Who names a Christmas song "It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way?"  That’s an awful choice for a title. 

A musical genius.

: I need to give props to two readers – woofpop and J.A. Bartlett of The Hits Just Keep On Comin’ – who both suggested this song.  Separately.  That’s both awesome and a little sad.

: The Christmas carols sound like blues, but the choir is not to blame.

: You know who’s to blame?  Fogelberg.

Jeff: He’ll be dropping by today, because they could get it together tonight.  Croce was fucking smooth.

: No, that’s an awkward lyric.  I disagree with you. 

He’s telling her to get ready for some rough ridin’.

Jason:  Ha!  "It doesn’t have to be that way. I could give it to you all night."

Jeff: He’s the Smoove B of Mellow Gold.

Wow.  I hope SOMEBODY else gets that reference.

Jason: Croce sounds wimpy…but not necessarily mellow.  There aren’t any backing vocals, which is a shame.
  Still, this is vintage Croce.

Jeff: Who needs backing vocals when you’ve got Croce?  Backing vocals would ruin the purity of the Croach.

Jason:  The Croach?

Jeff: This should have been titled "I Will Slip You My Yuletide Sting." 

: Oh shit, the song is over!  It’s over before it’s begun!

: He’s got more important things to do.

Like schtupping.

He was unbuckling his pants during the solo.

Jason: I thought I heard that!

Jeff: Unrolling the bearskin rug.

Jason:  Waxing his moustache.  If you know what I mean.

Warming up "Little Jim"

You don’t mess around with Little Jim.

No, you sure don’t.

Turns out that "Leroy Brown" was just his codename for anal sex.

Jeff: She’s going to be walking funny the day after Christmas.  But, of course, it didn’t have to be that way.

Jason: Ha!

About the Author

Jason Hare

Jason Hare used to love Christmas. He feels differently now.

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