Oh, Gossip Girl, why did you tease me so? After stealing my heart last year, you went away for a summer vacation and returned confused and flustered, like a co-ed waking up in bed with your roommate after two many shots of tequila and decision to experiment. You had lost your way. Finally, after some miscast actors and pointless storylines, you redeemed yourself and regained your glory as the queen of all soaps on network television.  Thank you, Gossip Girl; thank you for bringing me hours of salacious entertainment, but damn you, too, for making me want you more and having to wait, again, until your season premiere in September.

When we last saw you, the whole gang had graduated from high school. This was a good thing because everyone was starting to look a little long in the tooth to play teenagers.  So season three began and off to college some of you went, with Dan (Penn Badgley), Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) and Blair (Leighton Meester) opting for NYU and dorm life. Serena (Blake Lively) returned from a European excursion that involved partying, tabloids, and a search for her long lost father. The poor blond decided to forego Brown for a year to find herself. Do I smell a Serena/Blair reunion around the corner? Then there’s Chuck (Ed Westwick). With his twisted face and tight smile, our favorite blueblood decided to pursue the business world and carry on in his deceased father’s footsteps. Meanwhile, Nate (Chace Crawford) returns from his summer with a gorgeous redhead on his arms.  Unfortunately, fate and a terrible miscasting of Joanna Garcia will doom this relationship.

And what of Rufus (Matthew Settle) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford)? Their wedding is looming, but it sure does seem that the future Mrs. Rufus Humphrey is harboring some secrets from her fiancÁ©. Could it be that daddy van der Woodsen is looming somewhere in the background? Well, you don’t cast Popdose’s favorite reader, William Baldwin, if he isn’t going to come along and cause some trouble. If anyone can rival Ed Westwick’s contorted face and squinty eyes, it’s Mr. Baldwin.

So you started slow and eventually found your way again by the glorious Thanksgiving episode. After that, things seemed to fall in place for you and your wonderful cast. Personally, I could care less about Jenny (Taylor Momsen) and her feud with Eric (Connor Paolo). High school storylines are so yesterday, Gossip Girl, not when you have college stories that involve threesomes with Hillary Duff to explore. And that congressman that Serena was so in love with? Come on! Guy looked like he could play her younger brother. Next time cast someone who looks like he might be able to actually vote if you’re going to have that actor seduce our Serena.

But a feud with you, my beloved Gossip Girl, can only last as long as one between Serena and Blair; that is, three or four episodes. I mean, spend enough time with someone and you’re eventually going to come around, right. And come around you did as you ended the third season on a high note, leaving me gasping for air like poor old Chuck and chomping at the bit for season four.

But take note, Gossip Girl, if you let me down again at the top of four like you did when three began, you may have a harder time getting me back. A guy can only take so much.

Until next time.


Gossip Girl: The Complete Third Season is available through Amazon

About the Author

Scott Malchus

Scott Malchus is a writer, filmmaker and die hard Cleveland Indians fan. His memoir, “Basement Songs,” is available in paperback and Kindle. He wrote and directed the film “King's Highway." His family is heavily involved in fund raising to find a cure for cystic fibrosis. Scott Malchus is an employee of Cartoon Network and Turner Broadcasting. The opinions expressed on Popdose are his own and do not reflect those of his employer. Email: Malchus@popdose.com. Follow him @MrMalchus

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