The funny thing about music in 1985: they would make an extended mix of anything. Even funnier, people would dance to it.

Take this weekÁ¢€™s subject, the UK band Vitamin Z Á¢€” pronounced Veetamin Zed by their fellow countrymen Á¢€” who made their biggest splash with a slick, overproduced slice of mid-tempo ear candy called Á¢€Å“Burning Flame.Á¢€ Singer Geoff Barradale (now the manager of the Arctic Monkeys, thank you very much) does a mean Curt Smith impression Á¢€” which might explain why the band opened for Tears for Fears at one point Á¢€” and the song boasts a catchy, if wimpy, chorus. Á¢€Å“How you teased when I first made loveÁ¢€? Even Morrissey blushed at that line. The song had its charms, but a catchy beat that makes you want to shake your groove thing isnÁ¢€™t one of them.

And yet, this song was a big hit on the dance charts. The Dead Milkmen werenÁ¢€™t kidding: we really will dance to anything.

This is not to denigrate the extended version any; given what they had to work with, the mix works rather well with the breakdowns and echoed vocals and what have you. Still, itÁ¢€™s not a dance track. Was there anyone circling the dance floor in 1985, saying to themselves, Á¢€Å“This music is fine, but IÁ¢€™m not going out there until I hear Á¢€ËœBurning FlameÁ¢€™Á¢€? There must have been, if the songÁ¢€™s chart success is to be believed, but who were those people? For some reason, I keep picturing stock brokers with ponytails. Whatever the case, they were white, thatÁ¢€™s for sure.

In fact, letÁ¢€™s have some fun with this. I officially declare Á¢€Å“Burning FlameÁ¢€ to be one of the whitest songs ever recorded. LetÁ¢€™s hear your suggestions for other songs that share this dubious distinction. Bonus points if there is an extended dance mix of the song as well.

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Vitamin Z – Burning Flame (Extended Version)

About the Author

David Medsker

David Medsker used to be "with it." But then they changed what "it" was. Now what he's "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to him. He is available for children's parties.

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