CHART ATTACK!: 11/20/76

A duck, a muskrat, and Rod Stewart in a bowtie — the only thing that could save this Billboard Top 10 is a four-minute talkbox solo. It’s all in Jason Hare’s latest edition of CHART ATTACK!

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The Friday Mixtape, 11/20/09

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Bend It Like Bender! – Devin Townsend Project from Addicted (2009)

Blue Cheadle – Cheer-Accident from Fear Draws Misfortune (2009)

Cruisin’ With The Deuce – Quarterflash from Quarterflash (1980)

Elegy – Bob Belden from Black Dahlia (2001)

Hard Shoulder – Mark Knopfler from Get Lucky (2009)

Love’s Got A Lot To Answer For – Nick Lowe from At My Age (2007)

My Blue Heaven – Django Reinhardt from Django in Rome 1949-1950 (2004)

Never Mind – Minster Hill from MiNsTeR HiLL (1999)

The Road To Hell – Chris Rea from The Road to Hell (1989)

Rocks In The Ocean – Al Stewart from 24 Carrots (1980)

Take Me Back (Deja Vu) – Van Halen from Balance (1995)

That Old Black Magic – Louis Prima and Keely Smith from Capitol Collectors Series: Louis Prima (1991)

What She Wants – TDF from Retail Therapy (1997)

Witch’s Promise – Jethro Tull from Original Masters (1985)

Wooden Planes – Art Garfunkel from Watermark (1977)

CHART ATTACK!: 11/20/76

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So before we get started with today’s chart, I need to call your attention to those purty lil’ Amazon graphics below. They were created by the awesome Brian Ibbott, the man behind my favorite podcast (after the Popdose podcast, of course), Coverville. I figured Brian had taken them from the Amazon website, and since I couldn’t find them over at Amazon, I just took ‘em straight from Brian. I didn’t mean to be a thief, but turns out I am. So all credit for that nifty graphic that nobody clicks on goes to Brian — thanks, Brian! And if you’re not listening to Coverville, you’re missing out on one of the best, most compelling podcasts on the web. Check it out!

Okay, so now that I’ve stopped Brian’s team of blood-thirsty lawyers in their tracks (kidding!), we can take a look at this week’s chart. And I don’t mean to cast a cloud over this Top 10, but I’m not thrilled with most of these songs. Although three of them did hit #1 (one of them is actually the #1 hit of 1977), five of them didn’t make the Top 100 of either 1976 or 1977 at all. And as you’ll see, the songs that actually did hit #1 aren’t that great either. Things were better earlier in 1976 and later in 1977, but this specific week is, in my opinion, a low point. Do you agree? Let me know — and let’s attack November 20, 1976!

10. Do You Feel Like We Do — Peter Frampton null
9. Beth — Kiss null
8. Just to Be Close to You — Commodores null
7. Rock’n Me — Steve Miller null
6. The Rubberband Man — Spinners null
5. Disco Duck (Part 1) — Rick Dees null
4. Muskrat Love — Captain & Tennille null
3. Love So Right — Bee Gees null
2. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald — Gordon Lightfoot null
1. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright) — Rod Stewart null

10. Do You Feel Like We Do — Peter Frampton

nullOne day, if I’m lucky enough to have kids as geeky as I am (seems kind of inevitable), I’ll sit them down and tell them about the improbability of this song’s success. Sure, I’ll have to explain terms like “double album,” “record label” and “radio,” but I think it’ll be worth it. I’ll explain to them how Peter Frampton managed to remain on a major record label, A&M, despite the fact that his first three albums (as well as his first eight singles) didn’t even crack the Hot 100 (”what’s the Hot 100, daddy?”) and his fourth album peaked at #32. And that despite these failures, A&M decided that his next release should be a live album — and when he turned in the live album, the head of the record label (Jerry Moss) complained that it was too short (!) and should be a double album (!!). And so Frampton — who had recorded most of the album at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco, went to record more tracks live at SUNY Plattsburgh, better known as the least sexy of all the NY State-owned colleges. (I know. My dad went there.) “Do You Feel Like We Do” was one of the tracks recorded on the college campus. Unedited, it clocks in at 14:15. And children, guess what? “Radio stations,” as they were known back then, actually played the full, unedited version of the song! “Disc jockeys,” who were the people who actually had some control over what songs were played on the radio, used the song as an excuse to go to the bathroom or do other things that I’ll tell you about when you’re older. A&M understood that some stations might not want to play a 14-minute song, though, so they reasonably edited the song…to 7:19. 7:19 was considered reasonable, children!

At this point, my kids will probably be asleep from boredom, and that’ll be a shame, because I haven’t even explained to them why the unedited version of this song became so successful. Two words: TALKBOX SOLO. And here’s what I want to know, people: why do I have to wait SEVEN MINUTES AND 25 SECONDS for the talkbox solo? There should have been one in the beginning, in the middle, and then another one at the end. No, wait: the end one should be a false ending, and then there’d be another one after that one. There. That’s your perfect song. And I know the audience would have agreed, because you can hear how loud they cheer when he starts using the damn thing. You can’t deny the power of the talkbox. The talkbox is so powerful that the audience forgets the fact that anybody using one looks like a total douche.

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“durrrrrrrrrrr!”

Frampton does a talkbox solo for four full minutes, making “Do You Feel Like We Do” not only our CHART ATTACK! Song of the Week, but perhaps The Greatest Song of All Time, Excluding “What a Fool Believes.”

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Believe It or Not: The Strokes’ Julian Casablancas a Solo Artist?

51kxMZN3uOL._SCLZZZZZZZ_[1]I hadn’t even thought about the Strokes in quite awhile, never mind listened to them, before I spent about two weeks listening to nothing but the new solo album from Julian Casablancas while on the treadmill. It was probably a good thing, because I was really enjoying Phrazes for the Young. Then yesterday, I spent the entire day listening to the three albums from the Strokes and nothing else. Don’t get me wrong, I still think that Casablancas’ solo turn is an entertaining listen, but I just can’t stop thinking that it would be better with the rest of the Strokes. Phrazes makes me feel conflicted, and it kind of makes me mad.  Why won’t they just make another fucking Strokes album already?

The Strokes were victims of what happens to bands when the perfect storm of hype carries them beyond their allotted 15 minutes of fame. I remember publications calling them the next Nirvana. It was a poignant prophecy in a way, if by being the next Nirvana meant making three really good albums that were raw yet polished at the same time, and then never being heard from again. It’s hard when people anoint you the savior of rock and roll before you’ve actually really done anything. The Strokes unfortunately bought into the idea that they had to change the world, when they should have just kept on making Strokes albums. Their music was better than good enough, and much better than any of the solo records their hiatus has produced. Phrazes for the Young is no exception, though it comes closer than the others. (more…)

Infinite Play: Old 97’s, “Barrier Reef”

Too Far To CareWell, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve done one of these. Sometimes I figure out which song I want to write about, but have no idea what angle to take other than “This song rules!” Then another song pops into my head and I think, “That’s the one.” Without getting into the backstory, that’s what happened to me the other day with “Barrier Reef.”

Like nearly all the great early songs by Old 97’s, the beauty of “Barrier Reef” is how it simultaneously works within the confines of country music while standing them on its head. It starts off with a simple guitar riff by Ken Bethea, followed by the rhythm section of drummer Philip Peeples and bassist Murry Hammond crashing in with a loping shuffle. If that wasn’t enough to scream “COUNTRY!” Rhett Miller’s lyrics seal the deal.

The Empty Bottle was half-empty
Tide was low and I was thirsty
Saw her sitting at the bar

Isn’t that perfect? Within the first 25 seconds, you’ve got a bar with a great name for the local honky-tonk, and a girl just waiting for some guy to put the moves on, which is what Rhett does in the second verse. (more…)

Lo-Fi Mojo: The Zombies

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The Zombies: Odessey & Oracle [Revisited] – The 40th Anniversary Concert DVD was just released, and it just landed in my mailbox. Let’s cut to the chase: The second part of this fantastic DVD contains the complete and legendary 1968 psychedelic classic Odessey & Oracle album, with all 12 tracks from the original release lovingly re-created and excellently played by the original four members of The Zombies: Rod Argent, Colin Blunstone, Chris White and Hugh Grundy, during an historic 40th Anniversary reunion concert in March 2008, at the Shepherds Bush Empire in London. It’s introduced by Al Kooper, who, as staff producer at CBS/Columbia records in the late ’60s, strongly urged label boss Clive Davis to release it in the States (Kooper had picked it up in London, and loved it; the Zombies’ American label was going to pass on it). It also marked the first time the album was played in its entirety by the original band in 40 years since its release. The band played three consecutive sold-out concerts around this time. One of these nights was filmed for this DVD.

The first part features everything else performed the same evening by the Zombies Touring Band comprised of Rod Argent, Colin Blunstone, Jim Rodford (ex-Argent), Steve Rodford and Keith Airey, and augmented by a string quintet. Songs include music made famous by the Zombies and Argent, plus selections from Colin Blunstone’s solo albums. (more…)

Basement Songs: 100 and Counting

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Two years ago I quietly began writing the Basement Songs posts on my blog, Thunderbolt. At the time I didn’t know who my audience was, as I honestly believed that ten, maybe twenty readers were checking out Thunderbolt on a weekly basis. Inspired by some of the finer music blogs I’d come across, I thought that Basement Songs would be an interesting alternative to the daily confessionals I was posting. At least it could be fun. As I’ve written before, the early months of 2007 were tough. I believe that the 2005 death of my friend, Matt, and a laundry list of regrets and unresolved issues finally caught up with me. Coupled with the ongoing stress of worrying about my son, I sunk into a deep funk (and not the kind of funk that involves the groove of Duck Dunn). Despite those dark months, I found great pleasure in writing the Basement Songs. A friend used the term “therapeutic communication” once, and I believe that’s a sound way of describing what I was doing. Again, I had no idea who was reading; I just needed to get some things off of my chest, and I wanted to share my love of certain music.

One person who was reading happened to be Jeff Giles, whose Jefitoblog was one of the best written and enjoyable sites I visited daily. Jeff and I became friends thanks to a comment he made about Springsteen and my response. This led to the exchange of some choice bootlegs, an Idiot’s Guide to Journey, and then one of the kindest gestures I’ve experienced this decade: Bloggers for a Cure, in which Jeff and some other fine bloggers (most of whom write for this site) joined together to raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Jeff was also a strong supporter of the Basement Songs and would link each new post in his weekly “Friday Linkfest.” (more…)

Way Out Wednesday: “Donkey Kong”

donkeykong frontThis week’s Way Out Wednesday brings you that video game icon, Donkey Kong. This album gets credit for trying to give Donkey Kong a little backstory (as improbable as at might be). Interspersed through the story are some songs. We’ll feature some of the songs here, and I’ll do my best to fill you in on the story.

Here’s a catchy (and very ’80s) theme for DK himself. One note about the song: I don’t know whyit speeds up like that. The record isn’t warped (although some of the people involved with the record might be). I think it’s supposed to remind you of when the game gets faster and faster. Or the original version was warped when it was recorded and transferred to the record in the same condition. This is already more time than I’ve spent in years worrying about Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong Theme

The story opens with the circus coming to town with Donkey Kong as one of its attractions. He used to be part of the zoo, until the zoo closed down and he was sold to the circus. The circus truck passes by the old site of the zoo, now torn down. DK goes there, reminisces, and escapes from the circus truck to head to the construction site. This goes into a song called “The Climber,” which really has nothing whatsoever to do with DK himself. It could just as easily have been a song about Spider-Man. (more…)

You Again?: Kansas, “There’s Know Place Like Home”

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The American music industry has never been particularly interested in — or good at — pursuing slow, sustainable growth models. Americans in general are obsessed with speed, and that’s reflected in our rock folklore — from Elvis striking God’s perfect chord during his first Sun Studios take to Taylor Swift writing hit songs while she was still in high school, we love a fast, out-of-nowhere success story on the pop charts. There’s a whole world outside the spotlight, however, and even though it doesn’t seem to happen as often as it used to, the major labels have occasionally functioned as impatient and/or semi-unwilling incubators for artists who, for one reason or another, take a little extra time to achieve mainstream success.

Like, say, Kansas.

Needlepoint violin solos aside, pretty much everything about Kansas is slow. The first of the band’s many lineups formed in 1970, but it was 1974 before they got around to recording an album, which flopped, as did the two that followed. It wasn’t until their fourth album, 1976’s Leftoverture, that Kansas was able to claw a toehold in the marketplace — and by 1982, when original singer Steve Walsh took a hike and the band briefly morphed into a terrifying CCM/prog hybrid, they had already slid back into commercial irrelevancy. Kansas’ last major label release, In the Spirit of Things, came out in 1988, and their last overall studio effort, Somewhere to Elsewhere, was released almost ten years ago.

While contemporaries like Boston, Styx, and REO Speedwagon managed to retain various degrees of dignity during their commercial dotage, Kansas has given off a sad, flat-footed vibe for the last 25 years or so — Walsh’s departure kicked off an era of multiple breakups, grimy club tours, and long silences punctuated by bargain-priced archival live albums. During the mid ’90s, Kansas attempted a comeback with Freaks of Nature, an album recorded for Intersound, a label widely believed to be a Mafia tax shelter; three years later, they were recording live symphonic covers of their greatest hits for another shady indie outfit, River North. During an interview to promote 2002’s live CD/DVD project Device – Voice – Drum, drummer Phil Ehart admitted that the band had been dumped by not only its last label (prog champions Magna Carta), but its booking agent — a horribly galling admission for a band with evergreen AOR hits in a touring marketplace that always has room for everyone from Air Supply to whatever jiveass live package Alan Parsons happens to be peddling. (more…)

White Label Wednesday: Medsker’s Retro Beat Mix

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In the comment section of last week’s White Label Wednesday column on ABC, Ted lamented that I didn’t beat mix the songs together. Today, he gets his wish.

I made roughly 15 to 20 beat mixes during my time as a DJ in college (1987-1991). I didn’t own any gear, so I either made the mixes after hours at the clubs where I worked or I used the gear of a fellow DJ friend, who was brave enough to have his gear in his dorm room. Since the mixes were all recorded on cassette, very few have made the jump to the digital realm. Easy CD Creator had an add-on earlier in the decade that enabled people to input analog sources into their computer, and it would record the tracks and break them down. The program was clearly designed for vinyl, thinking that it would create a new file whenever a song ended or faded out. With beat mixes, this was a little more complicated, since the idea is for there to never be a break. I’d end up with one 12-minute file, and then 15 ten-second files. I would then take this .wav file editor and put the songs back together. Wheee.

The worst thing about uploading the tapes was that the digital recording was really quiet, so I would have to amplify the tracks exponentially, which of course amplified the tape hiss as well. You don’t really hear it when things are jumping, but when a song got quiet…whoooooosh! I should just break down and get one of those USB turntables that can convert vinyl and cassettes, but there is just one problem: I have no money, and with two kids, no time. So most of my tapes are still tapes. (more…)

Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 78

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It’s the second week of artists whose names begin with the letter S, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the 1980s.

john-schneiderJohn Schneider
“Still” — 1981, #69 (download)
“Dreamin’” — 1982, #45 (download)
“In the Driver’s Seat” — 1982, #72 (download)

Well, you probably know how much I’d really like to rip into Bo Duke, but for the most part I can’t. However, this man’s man from Hazzard County came right out of the musical gate pretty limp. If he wanted to do country music, that’s fine. A song like “In the Driver’s Seat” is actually kind of good. But “Still” is terrible, terrible adult contemporary crap. But, his music career was certainly targeted towards women who thought he was dreamy so I guess I understand why he went to the softer gentler side. If nothing else, most of his music was better than the self-titled debut from Luke Duke (Tom Wopat, 1982).

Eddie Schwartz
“Over the Line” — 1982, #91 (download)

Eddie Schwartz released three albums in the 80s and a half-dozen or so singles with minimal success. He had more success writing for others as he wrote or co-wrote Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot’ as well as the Doobie Brothers’ “The Doctor” and Paul Carrack’s “Don’t Shed a Tear.” All three are much better than “Over the Line.”

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