If you’re like me, you checked out the CW’s reboot of 90210 for nostalgia’s sake. I mean — Jennie Garth, come on! Even my wife thinks she looks good. Well, Jennie Garth’s hotness is about the only thing this show has going for it. I’ll admit, I was curious to see how producers Gabe Sachs & Jeff Judah would transform the show from its Aaron Spelling sudsy roots. After all, these two worked on NBC’s exceptional series, Freaks and Geeks. Unfortunately, none of the charm and humor from Freaks and Geeks exists in 90210. In fact, there is nothing to differentiate 90210 from Gossip Girl, except that Gossip Girl is a little better written.

The setup for the new 90210 is similar to the original series, which ran in the 90’s on FOX: Annie Wilson (Shenae Grimes) and her adopted brother, Dixon (Tristan Wilds) are the new kids at West Beverly Hills High School. They’ve just moved to California from Kansas so that their parents (Robe Estes and Lori Loughlin) can keep an eye on grandma Tabitha (Jessica Walter, rehashing what she did on Arrested Development). For Annie and Dixon, the awkwardness of being the new kids is made worse by the fact that their dad has taken a job as the principal. Annie and Dixon have a close sibling relationship, which they’ll need to help them cope with all the new cliques and classmates, including the spoiled, rich, Naomi (Anna Lynne McCord); Ethan (Dustin Milligan), a popular jock who crushes on Annie; Navid (Michael Steger), who heads up the school’s TMZ-type newscast; and Silver (Jessica Stroup), the rebel, who also happens to be the younger sister of one Kelly Taylor, played by Garth, reprising her role from the original series.

You still have a bunch of rich kids moping through life, worried about their lives, and spending shitloads of cash. And we’re supposed to care about them why? What’s worse, every “teenage” girl on this show looks like she has borderline health problems. I haven’t seen this many stick figures since Ally McBeal and Lara Flynn Boyle of The Practice went off the air. When you consider that the camera adds weight, I am saddened and sickened by how malnourished the actresses look. Except, that is, for Jennie Garth, who actually looks like a thirty-something mother. Good for her for not starving herself now that she’s back on prime time television.

Sadly, (and I’ve said this before) American television series about middle-class people struggling to make ends meet do not garner the ratings networks desire, no matter how great the show. Freaks and Geeks was shuffled around in the NBC lineup, and it eventually went out with a whimper. Friday Night Lights, one of the finest shows on television — I would say the best family drama airing — has a loyal audience, but NBC has not been able to get the ratings it wants. This year, FNL will air on Direct TV’s 101 in the fall and return to NBC come wintertime. This arrangement was done to offset the supposed expensive costs of producing the show. Any show that seems to find some success has to have a high concept to succeed. (more…)