The Seventh Day of Mellowmas: Carrack Carols!

Written by Mellowmas, Music


Something surprising happens today, on Day Seven of Mellowmas: we actually wind up with a song that’s…not so bad! Will you feel the same? Listen and read on, suckas!

Paul Carrack – Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (download or stream below)
From A Soulful Christmas Amazon iTunes


[audio: Carrack – Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.mp3]

Jason: Ooh, listen to that classic sound. That actually is quite pretty.

Jeff: How loooooooooooong…has this reindeer been Rudolphin’ on… I’m falling asleep.

Jason: This doesn’t even sound like Paul Carrack to me. I hope the whole song isn’t this slow.

A few seconds pass.

Jason: OOOOH YEAH! Samba, bitches! Or whatever style this is.

Jeff: Ha ha ha! I think Casio calls it “drunk.”

Jason: Okay, well, give him credit for at least shaking it up a little. HORNS!!!

Jeff: Horn blast!

Jason: Those things damn near knocked me out of my chair!

Jeff: I think I can hear him snapping his fingers.

Jason: Jeff? I like this.

Jeff: Oh, wow.

Jason: I actually like this.

Jeff: This is, like, an arrangement.

Jason: I’m not crazy about the samba beat, but the big band sound is working for me.

Jeff: Big finish!

Jason: I like this a lot.

Jeff: Carrack just did the splits!

Jason: Ha!

Jeff: Yelled something unintelligible to the band!

Jason: Carrack quickly left the studio in the middle to write a song for Timothy B. Schmit!

Jeff: Ha! I think this may have actually been recorded live.

Jason: Wait, he just said “Santa came to stay,” not “say.” KEY CHANGE! I LOVE key changes. This song rocks.

Jeff: Yeah, I can’t argue with this.

Jason: It’s actually recorded really well, too. Like, great production.

Jeff: I bow down to Paul Carrack. (applause)

Jason: “History, man!”

Jeff: Paul Carrack saved Mellowmas.

Jason: “Mmmm….Rudolph.”

Jeff: That was great.

Jason: Great ending! You liked it too?

Jeff: Who wouldn’t like that?

Jason: I don’t get it. This isn’t the Paul Carrack I know. For starters, he looks like Mandy Patinkin on the cover.

Jeff: Hey, I’m just as pleasantly surprised as you. I wonder if Patinkin has released a holiday album.

Jason: Oh, I’m sure he has. Not only that, I’m sure I’ve bought it for my mother.

Jeff: Have you heard him sing? He sounds like Jim Nabors’ aunt.

Jason: How about that? He hasn’t. I heard Patinkin on the radio today singing a Sondheim tune. I was really excited to hear it, and then I turned it off instantly.

Jeff: I say we start a letter campaign asking for “A Very Mandy Hanukkah.”

Jason: Happy Patinkinmas! Hey, have you heard the rest of this Carrack album?

Jeff: I haven’t, but now I really want to.

Jason: Yeah. I agree. Wow. I can’t believe that we’re actually not ripping a Mellowmas artist apart. I kind of blame this on you. You picked this one.

Jeff: It seemed perfectly bad. Paul Carrack…Rudolph…what could go right?

Jason: I’m going to have to listen to the rest of this album. We’ve failed, Jeff. We’ve failed ourselves and our readers. I mean, reader. I just heard him leave. He took a ginger snap, some egg nog, gave us the finger and ran out.

Jeff: No, no, we’re just softening them up for the next terrible track. The death blow is so much more painful when you aren’t expecting it.

Jason: Let’s give ’em something really bad tomorrow! Like….FOGELMAS!

Jeff: (evil cackle)