The Thirteenth Day of Mellowmas: Drunkymas!

Written by Mellowmas, Music


Happy First Day Of Extended Mellowmas! The scary thing is…we’re just getting started!

John Denver – “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” (download or stream below)
From Rocky Mountain Christmas Amazon iTunes


Jeff: What song today?

Jason: Ready to plead to daddy?

Jeff: Oh no.

Jason: Oh yes. Please. Daddy. Don’t get drunk this Christmas.  Hey, didn’t your daughter sing this song to you last year?


Jason: Oh god. I can’t believe this song.

Jeff: I never liked John Denver.  I can’t believe those nerds from the Starland Vocal Band wrote it.

Jason: They wrote this for him?

Jeff: Either that or he stole it.

Jason: Holy shit! Talk about a passive-aggressive intervention! “Oh yeah, John, we, um, wrote this for….someone else…Jim Croce.”

Jeff: Goddammit, if you had a kid who sounded like this, don’t you think you’d get drunk every night of the fucking year?

Jason: Ha ha ha! Actually, I’d probably pay a pilot to sabotage a…oh.

Jeff: “I turned around and saw my mama’s tears.” This is depressing as hell. Is it supposed to be funny? Because it isn’t.

Jason: I love the voice crack on “Please.”

Jeff: Yeah, but it would be better if he didn’t do it every single time.

Jason: Big finish! Big finish for the alcoholic!

Jeff: Blech.

Jason: Wow.

Jeff: Miserable.

Jason: That was 2:37 and we had nothing to say about it.

Jeff: Well, I mean, it’s kind of heartbreaking.

Jason: I thought we were going to be much funnier with this one.

Jeff: One of the SVB members must have had a horrible childhood.

Jason: Who writes Christmas songs like this?

Jeff: The Danoffs! No wonder their Christmas album was never officially released!

Jason: Oh, you’re not going to get me to speak ill about SVB again. I don’t think Bill Danoff is too happy about last year.

Jeff: I’m not happy about right now.

Jason: And I still feel bad about it. I seriously love Starland Vocal Band.

Jeff: Even after this?

Jason: Bill, if you’re reading this, well, first, why are you reading this? Second, I love you.

Jeff: Third, what the hell were you thinking?

Jason: Don’t listen to him, Bill!

Jeff: What’s next, “Please Daddy (No More Sodomy for New Year’s)”?

Jason: I think Bill was clearly trying to tell John that maybe – just maybe – he needed to, you know, not get drunk this Christmas.

Jeff: I’m telling you, that song came from a very real, very dark place. And it should have stayed there.

Jason: I wonder if there’s a published story behind it.

Jeff: Me too.

Jason: I guess I’ll just keep on wondering. Because I can’t be bothered to look it up.

Jeff: I’m looking it up. Oh. My. God. The Decemberists covered this. What kind of world do we live in?

Jason: They did? I know Alan Jackson did.

Jeff: Alan Jackson will cover anything.

Jason: The Decemberists probably being ironic. I’m not listening to this. I won’t. I refuse.

Jeff: Dude, it literally cannot be worse than this.

Jason: Please Jefito (Don’t Make Me Listen To Indie Hipsters This Christmas)

Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha!