The story so far: Kate has the house to herself. When Brian comes over, she decides sheâ€™d like to get intimate before they leave for Eric’s party. Unfortunately, Brian is unable to rise to the occasion. What started as a nice, romantic moment went south fast, with Brian rushing out of Kateâ€™s bedroom. The year is 1987.
Well that wasâ€¦ Iâ€™m not sure. What am I supposed to take away from that? I created the perfect opportunity for my boyfriend to make love to me, with no fear that my parents or brother might catch us, andâ€¦ it doesnâ€™t work for him. I naked ON THE BED, beckoning him andâ€¦ he canâ€™t perform.
These things happen, right? Sure. I bet it happens more often than you hear about. Why, I bet every relationship has had a situation like this one.
I stare at myself in the mirror.
I mean, it canâ€™t be me, can it? Donâ€™t I turn him on anymore?
Iâ€™ve worked so hard to maintain this figure. I keep a strict diet, count my calories, and stay away from fatty foods. Sometimes I skip breakfast and lunch just so I can keep off the weight. I canâ€™t make my breasts any bigger, and I canâ€™t grow three more inches to look like some supermodel or an MTV dancer. All I can do is keep myself in shape so that Brian thinks Iâ€™m sexy. Well, okay, I donâ€™t just do it for Brian. Iâ€™ll admit I want the other guys in school to think Iâ€™m sexy, too.
And itâ€™s not just the guys I have to worry about. All of the girls I know, we all judge each other. No matter how much we stress over our bodies, thereâ€™s no hesitation when it comes to cutting down one of our peers.
Brian has it easy. He throws on a pair of cut-off Dockers, a T-shirt from some classic rock band no oneâ€™s heard of and people think he looks fine. Maybe thatâ€™s why it annoys me when he dresses like a slob. If I have to put forth an effort, so should he.
But I like being noticed; I like being complimented. If Brian isnâ€™t going to say anything, I know that some other guyâ€™s head is going to turn. Like Tom Meany.
Tom Meany, again.
In the other room, the newest Whitney song is playing on the radio. â€œI wanna dance with somebody. Somebody who loves me.â€ Donâ€™t you know it, girl.
I place my hands on the counter and close my eyes. I let the music clear my head.
My thoughts circle back to the coitus-ineffectiveness that occurred a few minutes ago, and I realize the root of the problem.
Eric claimed it was â€œjust one swig.â€ One swig, my ass. Iâ€™d always read that alcohol can cause trouble down below in boys. I now have first hand knowledge.
I sigh, relieved. It wasnâ€™t me.
I grab my toothbrush and scrub the taste of alcohol out of my mouth.
Returning to my bedroom, Iâ€™m surprised that Brian is no longer there.
â€œBri?â€ I call out.
â€œIn the kitchen,â€ he hollers back.
I pick out some capris and a Polo shirt. I shimmy into the pants and check myself in the full length mirror behind my door. Satisfied, I pull on the shirt. I look good, if I do say so myself.
The phone rings again. I pick up the cordless, pulling open the antenna.
â€œHello?â€ I answer.
â€œGet your butt over here!â€ Andrea shouts. In the background is music and loud voices.
â€œWeâ€™re just getting ready.â€
â€œWhatâ€™s to get ready? Iâ€™m sure you look aces, as usual.â€
And just like that, I feel a lot better.
â€œAlright, letâ€™s not get all mushy. Get your hiney in the car. Itâ€™s time to party!â€
â€œSee you in a bit.â€
I hang up.
Andrea always knows how to lift my spirits. Gliding into the bathroom, I finish getting ready, even spraying a touch of perfume on my wrists. As I head down the hallway toward the stairs, Iâ€™m surprisingly in a good mood. Maybe I really was just tired, and thatâ€™s why I was so cranky. Maybe Brian really is excited for me and Iâ€™m just misinterpreting some of his expressions. If we can put everything behind us for just a couple of hours, maybe tonight can be fun after all.
Today’s artwork is by Andy Garner-Flexner. Andy specializes in watercolor paintings, logo design, and illustration. He is also the Production Assistant onÂ Adventure TimeÂ at Cartoon Network. For more information about Andy, visit his website:Â andygarnerflexner.com
Whitney Houstonâ€™s song, â€œI Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)â€ is found on her 1987 album, Whitney.
Read Chapter 14 of Legendary