El Madmo, “Vampire Guy” (2008)
Like a lot of artists who are very good at doing one thing, Norah Jones has visibly strained under her image as a shy, doe-eyed purveyor of piano ballads — even though shy piano ballads are what she’s absolutely best at. Hence her side project El Madmo, which finds her rocking out in fishnets in a blonde wig. It’s kind of silly, but still: Norah Jones in fishnets. No one’s complaining.
Randy VanWarmer, “I’m Gonna Prove It” (1980)
When your name is Randy VanWarmer, and you look like your name is Randy VanWarmer, and you score your first big hit with a simpering ballad like “Just When I Needed You Most,” well…I think the world should just step back and let you rock as much as you want, because clearly you have been dealt an unfair hand.
Sadly, the world was not ready for Randy VanWarmer to rock, or do much of anything besides collect royalty checks for “Just Like I Needed You Most”; despite his most valiant efforts, he was destined to forever be remembered as a Mellow Gold legend. Not that he didn’t try to turn up the volume every once in awhile — as noted by our own Brian Boone, who suggested this track, “it sounds like hard Wings.”
[youtube id=”yEzKxJe5Neo” width=”600″ height=”350″]Stephen Bishop, “Love at a Distance” (1989)
Like Christopher Cross, Stephen Bishop is a solid songwriter and talented guitarist whose visual vibe and gift for ballads pigeonholed him early in his career. It also didn’t help that anytime Bishop turned up the volume, his breathy tenor undercut any intensity in the arrangements.
Observe “Love at a Distance,” from 1989’s Bowling in Paris. Even with Phil Collins producing and using his multiplatinum might to strongarm promotional dollars out of Atlantic, the album tanked. Oh hai shoulder pads!
[youtube id=”k39XHZN5DAQ” width=”600″ height=”350″]Toto, “She Knows the Devil” (1992)
Toto certainly always had the ability to rock, as evidenced by the band members’ work on roughly 60 percent of the recordings made in L.A. from 1977-1990 — and they also had a knack for finding rock belters to fill the lead vocal position, from Bobby Kimball to Fergie Frederiksen to Joseph Williams. But they always knew where their bread was buttered, especially as the ’80s wore on: smooth, anonymous ballads like “I Won’t Hold You Back” and “I’ll Be Over You.”
That all changed for 1992’s Kingdom of Desire, an album that might as well have been titled The Label Won’t Promote It Anyway. Bizarrely issued in the States via a one-off deal with guitar-wank indie label Relativity, Kingdom found guitarist Steve Lukather taking the mic for a succession of loud rockers. Overshadowed by drummer Jeff Porcaro’s death, Kingdom is one of the less talked-about titles in the Toto catalog, at least partly because nobody was buying Toto records to hear stuff like this:
[youtube id=”4o5nBm2-zYs” width=”600″ height=”350″]Styx, “Not Dead Yet” (1990)
Six years after his theatrical ballads drove Tommy Shaw out of the band, Dennis DeYoung reformed Styx for the Edge of the Century album, inviting Jersey legend Glen Burtnik to fill the Shaw-shaped hole in the lineup and contribute rockers like the title track and “World Tonite.”
DeYoung, meanwhile, mainly focused on what he does best — yes, you guessed it, theatrical ballads — and even scored the band an unlikely comeback hit when the mawkish “Show Me the Way” somehow became a Gulf War anthem. Notice I said mainly: DeYoung also handled lead vocals on an exceedingly ill-advised cover of the Bad Examples’ “Not Dead Yet,” a tongue-in-cheek song sung from the perspective of an aging rocker that’s entirely undone here by his google-eyed mugging.
Four years later, DeYoung was recording show tunes. That’s about right.
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