Matthew Ryan‘s new album, In the Dusk of Everything, comes out October 30, which is much too long to wait for new music from one of our favorite songwriters. But because he’s a nice guy, Matthew is graciously offering a sneak preview of the album: “And It’s Such a Drag,” available for download (for a limited time) below. Scroll down to read Rob Smith’s thoughts on the track and watch Matthew’s new video:

Pain, by definition, hurts. There’s nothing you can do when it hits you, and you want to hit back, but you can’t. Like when love dies but doesn’t die, when it walks away and leaves you sitting there, your face and arms and chest suddenly hollowed out, emptied of everything you imagined that would last you the rest of your days. You’re afraid to breathe, and you’re angry at being afraid; you don’t want to cry, and maybe you don’t at first, but eventually you will. You will and you will and you will and you will and you will.

The pain. It can curl up inside you and unravel at will, each movement a new source of hurt. The movie in your mind plays on, and you shout at the screen behind your eyes; you want to warn the protagonist about the cliff he’s headed for, the key he shouldn’t turn, the right he’s about to make, when he should go left. You shout, but all that comes out is recrimination—

And who wanted you
Before all this
And who held the girl
When no one gave a shit
Who can tell the truth now darlin’
And who can tell a lie
Who said they could never understand how people became monsters
And if that ever happened to you you’d rather lay down and die
Who loved you
More than me
And who couldn’t care less
Now that I see
Now that I see

Who couldn’t care less? It’s bullshit; it’s a shield; it’s the thing you say when you don’t want to say what’s really on your mind and in your heart. It’s all you have left to defend yourself against indifference.

Like it’s such a drag
That I should have something to say
After all that we knew and had
It don’t even make you sad

You’ll get over it. You’re not over it now, like you say you are, but you will be. For the most part. Still … there will be that little part of her that will stay with you, inside you, coiling and unfurling. And there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s not a thing you can do.

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About the Author

Rob Smith

Rob Smith is a writer, teacher, wage earner, and all-around evil genius who spends most of his time holed up in his cluttered compound in central PA. His favorite color is ultramarine blue. His imaginary band Mr. Vertigo tours every summer. You can follow Rob on Twitter, if you desire.

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