A recently published report by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life found that 26 percent of “millennials,” or young people born after 1980, claim they have no religious affiliation, compared to 20 percent of Generation Xers (1965-1980) and 13 percent of baby boomers (1946-1964) when they were between the ages of 18 and 29.

There’s no need for religious organizations to panic, since 40 percent of millennials say religion is a major part of their lives, just as 39 percent of baby boomers said the same thing in their late teens and 20s. However, as a precautionary measure, God has become the latest celebrity to create a Twitter account, in the hopes of reaching young people in the ever-evolving world of social networking.

Besides, as author and pastor Robert J. Morgan pointed out on his Facebook page last summer, “Texting is very biblical; it has divine origin … For example the book of Proverbs is the original Twitter. In 140 characters or less, the Lord sent down His short bursts of insight and wisdom, which we call the Proverbs. Each of the individual verses of Proverbs is like a Tweet from the Lord — His divine Short Message Service.”

Here are some of the tweets God has posted in the past couple weeks:

Anybody know of a good, affordable beard trimmer? Tweet me back.

The Dark Ages — not my finest hour.

Just had a guy on Earth tell me, “You look like Morgan Freeman.” I get that a lot.

Thought I’d have more than 286 followers by now. Oh well.

If the Dems can’t pull off this health care bill, I’ll just GIVE everybody good health. Serious as a heart attack, y’all.

Listening to ‘Dear God’ by XTC. Melody? Awesome. Lyrics? A little whiny.

Good talk with my son today, feeling good about comeback special this April. Hope he doesn’t get cold feet just b/c it’s on NBC.

Republicans, I love U, but what’s w/ all the crazy talk?

Whenever anything bad happens in the world, just think of it as one of my “lost weekends.”

@johncmayer I think it’s time you and I had a talk.

Trouble sleeping? Read a little Nietzsche. Knocked me RIGHT OUT.

On the seventh day I “rested”? If that’s what you call overeating, fine. But I prefer not to sugarcoat it.

Is it all right if I don’t like Sarah Palin OR ‘Family Guy’? Kidding! Calm down…

Not to brag, but I always knew “You’re So Vain” was about David Geffen.

Truth be told, I’m a moral relativist.

Thanks, California beauty queens, but if I want to speak out against gay marriage, I’ll do it myself.

“Cleanliness is next to godliness”? Tell it to the tighty-whities I’ve been wearing the last three days.

For the last time, I LOVE EVERYBODY. Stop claiming I’m on your side, whatever side you’re on.

@obamarama Yes. “700 Club” is a guilty pleasure of mine. Why else do you think Pat Robertson is still alive?

It’s true — I’m always tempted to use my name at restaurants so I can get a better table.

Wow. Lot of Negative Nellys here on Twitter. Lighten up, everybody — I’m this/close to sending in the locusts.

No, I will not start using emoticons so everyone is 100% clear on my meaning. I never said this was going to be easy.

If you’d told me 5,000 years ago that the Bible would make it past the first printing, I wouldve laughed in your face.

Of course I watch Leno — I’M REALLY REALLY OLD!

To all you songwriters who claim I wrote your songs ‘thru’ you, where my royalty checks at?

Hey! Episcopalians! Ease up on the communion wine or I’ll have Jesus turn it back into water! LO*!

IT’S is not the same as ITS. YOU’RE is not the same as YOUR. THEY’RE, THEIR, and THERE are all different words. Evolve already!

Is the Bible open to interpretation? Did Me-hu’ja-el begat Me-thu’sha-el?

If I were an inventor, I’d probably invent something that destroys dust once and for all. That stuff gets on my nerves.

Mickey Rooney’s still alive?! I thought I saw him up here the other day. Guess not. All the best, sir!

Angry God? Benevolent God? It all depends on my mood. But all-knowing? You bet.

Are you guys retweeting my stuff because you like it or because I’m God? Sometimes I’m not sure.

This guy cracks me up! http://tinyurl.com/1xln

If a stray lightning bolt hits my cloud and I’m not the one who threw it, is that still considered an act of me?

Get well, Charlie Sheen. You are truly one of my greatest creations.

Straight from the horse’s mouth: Judas was underrated.

Sometimes I watch Larry King and it’s spooky how much I sound like him.

@rwcass I’m not going to make a personal appearance just so you can win an argument with your girlfriend. Please stop asking.

WHAT?!?! NBC preempted Nickelback at the closing ceremony in Vancouver! Time to smite somebody…

* “LO” is an abbreviation for “laugh omnipotently,” commonly used in heavenly e-mails and tweets.

About the Author

Robert Cass

Robert Cass lives in Chicago. For Popdose he's written under the Sugar Water, Bootleg City, and Box Office Flashback banners and collaborated on the series 'Face Time with Jeff Giles and Mike Heyliger.

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