If there’s anything worse than having your heart broken in high school, when your fragile emotional identity is still developing, probably badly, it’s having your heart broken in elementary school,…
Jeff Vrabel
Some love stories are full of hideous terror, but some can teach us things, such as that for a not-insignificant portion of the populace, there is apparently something called a…
There are a few cold, hard truths in this world: you can’t run for president on the GOP ticket if you’re a thrice-married cross-dresser, the Cubs aren’t going to win…
We’ve been doing “Songs for the Dumped” for awhile now, and if we’ve learned anything it’s that: 1. People are at heart mean and vindictive, and 2. Apparently nobody had…
You know who’s good for breakups? Bruce Springsteen. He’s also good for budding romances, weddings, funerals, long walks on the beach, calculus tests, trips to the jungle gym, pretty much…
David Medsker takes us on a mad, dark journey into a land most of us are probably familiar with — the Land of the Co-Dependent Relationship That Will Not Die,…
Timing, the New Testament tells us, is everything, and it takes a startlingly few number of works to turn a glorious, magnificent, rainbows-and-puppies kind of day into one of hideous…
We’ve been having a lot of fun here at Songs for the Dumped, but let us not forget that these are stories of heartache, woe, ache and heartwoe, and that…
The great thing about breakup songs is that you have absolutely no control over what they are; they just happen to be playing in the background, clamped into the CD…
A lot of people are going to tell you that adolescent regression is an unhealthy thing, but few among us are the people who, if given the chance, wouldn’t jump…
In most cases, a breakup song is whatever happens to be playing in the background, but on rare, special occasions, it’s as though the DJ has temporarily set up shop…
Everything is worse in high school: your hair, your taste in music, your grasp of how bad you have it, your ability to have a meaningful conversation with a girl…
The poet Emily Dickinson once wrote that “Valentine’s Day sucks rocks,” and it’s easy to see why: Dickinson was known for her use of filthy geological metaphor, as well as…