Posts Tagged ‘Mellow Gold’

Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold 49

Great news, everybody! Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold is back!

McD-tastic!

Or, alternately:

Awful news, everybody! Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold is back!

McD-tastic!

The point is: like it or not, we’re back and planning on bringing you more of the lamest, pansy-assiest music from that magical period in the ’70s and ’80s when everybody seemed to misplace their nutsacks.  My hope is to do this once a month (after doing weekly MG postings in ‘07, I found I could no longer sustain an erection), and now that I’ve written it on the Internet, it must be true, right?

Anyway, so away we go!  Let’s see.  I have a nice big Mellow Gold playlist here on iTunes.  I’ll just close my eye and point my mouse at a track, and…

Aw, shit.  Nigel Olsson? What the hell is he doing on here?  Isn’t he just the guy who plays drums in Elton John’s band with the headphones and white gloves and looks like the spawn of David Cassidy and the Cryptkeeper?

Okay, I looked back, and it seems like we can blame a reader named John Anselmo for today’s post, as he suggested Olsson’s one song that cracked the Top 20.  Let me see if I can find his address and we can torch his house.  Kidding, kidding.  Actually, I will defend John’s suggestion, because the song in question fits quite well into the Mellow Gold genre (did we decide if Mellow Gold was a genre?).  It fits so well, actually, that I often hear it, think “this is perfect for Mellow Gold,” promptly forget about it, and then repeat the process.  Wussy, yet utterly forgettable?  I don’t think it could be any more appropriate for this series.

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Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold 48

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Rumors of the death of Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold have been greatly exaggerated. You know the old saying, friends: once a wuss, always a wuss. But you know how it goes. You listen to nothing but mellow music for a whole year, you end up in therapy, and who’s there to pay the bill? Benny Mardones? I think not. He has problems of his own. So you can expect this mellow tradition to continue here on Popdose, albeit at a slower pace.

Today, though, I’m unbelievably excited to share with you a Mellow Gold gem, but one with a twist. Forget about the subservient male; today’s artist cares little for the feelings of the fairer of the sexes, and is damn proud of it. (more…)

Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold 47

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I know, I know: where the hell have I been? Where the hell is your Mellow fix? I understand your pain, and I thank you for your continued patience as I try to see if there’s life beyond crappy music. But we have a MELLOW RED ALERT on our hands, people, and I need to bring it to your attention, like, yesterday.

Eagles – I Don’t Want To Hear Anymore (download)

That’s right! Mellow Gold, 2007 style, bitches! And grab this one quick, ’cause Irving Azoff is going to be banging on my door in about twenty seconds. This one comes from the brand-spankin’-new release, Long Road Out Of Firing Felder Eden. I don’t even have the album yet – we don’t believe in Wal-Mart in New York City – but at 6:45 this morning, my main man Jeff contacted me and insisted that I hear this track as soon as possible. And I knew he was onto something, because as I listened, my wife called out from the other room.

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