Why do I love today’s CHART ATTACK! author? Well, there are many reasons. First and foremost, of course, is his fantastic, thoughtful writing at The Hits Just Keep On Comin’. The second reason is because he has been willing to grace Popdose with his monthly column, “One Day in Your Life.” Today, however, I love him because who else could be counted on to write a phrase that begins with “Lo, its powerful bubblegummy mojo”? Read on and love him, too! — JH

In the fall of 1970, I was the first kid on my school bus every morning, and thus I traveled through rural Wisconsin on gravel roads and paths trodden by cows to get to school. Being the first kid on, I had my pick of seats. The back of the bus was the most desirable spot, but what you must know about the social dynamics of the school bus is that little kids don’t get to sit in the back. One particular morning, in an attempt to keep from getting my ass kicked, I chose a seat near the front, underneath the radio speaker. And on that morning, the bus driver tuned in WLS, the Top 40 giant from Chicago, and nothing in my life was ever the same after that.

There were some fine, fine songs on the radio that day, and some goofy stuff too, because it was the 1970s, and that was the law. The nation’s Top Ten looked like this on November 7, 1970:

10. Lola — The Kinks Amazon iTunes
9. Candida — Dawn Amazon iTunes
8. Cracklin’ Rosie — Neil Diamond Amazon iTunes
7. I Think I Love You — The Partridge Family Amazon iTunes
6. All Right Now — Free Amazon iTunes
5. Indiana Wants Me — R. Dean Taylor Amazon iTunes
4. Green-Eyed Lady — Sugarloaf Amazon iTunes
3. Fire and Rain — James Taylor Amazon iTunes
2. We’ve Only Just Begun — Carpenters Amazon iTunes
1. I’ll Be There — The Jackson Five Amazon iTunes

10. Lola — The Kinks

If, in the version you know, Ray Davies sings about champagne that tastes like cherry cola, you have the version he recorded after the BBC refused to air the original line about champagne that tastes like Coca-Cola because it would have constituted a commercial mention. (The re-cutting apparently required Davies to make a one-day round-trip from New York to London.) As a lad of 10, I could not have grasped the transvestite subtext, but I take comfort in the fact that there are people who are a lot older who still don’t get it. If that’s you, please click here for an explanation in flowchart form.

9. Candida — Dawn (download)

“Candida” was written by late-period Brill Building songwriters Irwin Levine and Toni Wine. (She’s best known, probably, for providing female vocals for the Archies.) Producers Hank Medress and Dave Appell had cut a version they didn’t like by a group they didn’t like, so they asked Orlando, a friend in the record biz, to recut it. He laid down the lead vocal; Wine and Jay Siegel later provided the backing vocals. Legend has it that Orlando didn’t think about the record again until it was Number 3 on WABC. Telma Hopkins and Joyce Vincent-Wilson were drafted to become Dawn for the followup single, “Knock Three Times”; they didn’t even meet Orlando until after it had gone to Number One.

8. Cracklin’ Rosie — Neil Diamond

More ungraspable subtext for the 10-year-olds. Despite the song’s borderline racy puns about wine and prostitutes, Diamond was already beginning to shed his ’60s kid-rocker image for that of an adult-contemporary balladeer, at least until you turned this record over. The flipside, “Lordy” is as rough as anything he ever made, featuring throat-shredding screams and lines like “cut your heart out for the prize/while the bitch sings hallelujah.” Here’s how it sounded on his Live at the Troubadour album in 1976:

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