Jason: Hey Jeff! Remember our buddy Fred Figglehorn?

Jeff: I’m leaving. You go to hell.

Jason: YOU COME BACK HERE.

Jeff: YOU DO NOT INVOKE THE NAME OF FRED FIGGLEHORN

Jason: Man, that was awful. Remember listening to him?

Jeff: Do I ever. Ugh.

Jason: It made me want to throw up. Which is appropriate, because today’s song is by somebody named Ralf.

Jeff: Wait, what? I’m sorry, did you say Ralf?

Jason: Ralf! Ralf Mackenbach!

Jeff: I’m crossing my fingers for a bootleg Muppet.

Jason: No such luck! He’s a Dutch singer.

Jeff: Shit!

Jason: Born in 1995, and you know what that means.

Jeff: SHIT!

Jason: ONE YEAR OLDER THAN ZENDAYA

Jeff: I cannot tell you how much I dislike listening to music made by people born in the ’90s.

Jason: Then I think maybe today is not your day.

Jeff: I think I had the right idea when I said “I’m leaving.”

Jason: But don’t you want to see THE VIDEO.

Jeff: NO THANK YOU.

Jason: You’re cute. Acting like you have a say in the matter.

Jeff: Wait, this is no ordinary video — it’s an “officiële videoclip.” That sounds high-quality. Umlauts denote class.

Jason: Officiële videoclip? Hair like old-school Bieber? What could go wrong?

Jeff: This little fucker could be a HeartBeat Boy.

Jason: I could have been one too, remember?

Jeff: So many missed opportunities.

Jason: He definitely doesn’t know English.

Jeff: At least he isn’t blind like whoever dressed him.

Jason: He also doesn’t know how to dance.

Jeff: Where IS this?

Jason: I like the part with the women singing in front of him at a point where there aren’t any backing vocals.

Jeff: Is this the moose lodge where Kenny and Dolly taped that one video?

Wait, is Ralf a midget?

Jason: OH MY GOD I WISH THAT WERE TRUE

Jeff: There’s something weird about the way he looks when they show his whole body. Also about the way he says “clock.”

Jason: Yeah, and who told him argyle was a good idea?

Jeff: He almost punched the black kid!

Jason: Whoa, what is happening at the end of this clip?

Jeff: JASON WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW

Jason: I don’t know, but it was the best part of the song!

Jeff: Why are half of the suggestions after it ends for Ratt videos?

Jason: Why are you questioning anything anymore?

Jeff: I honestly don’t know. I give up.

Ralf. Ralf is a thing. Ralf and argyle and a hat.

Jason: I want a whole album from him. A Very Merry Ralfmas. Ralfin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

Jeff: I’m just glad that was the officiële video, rather than a böotleg.

Jason: Ralfnuts Roasting On an Open Fire.

Jeff: YES.

Jason: The Christmas Ralf.

Jeff: Or better yet, A Homeless Ralf Christmas.

Jason: I can do this all day! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Ralfdeer.

Jeff: I think the lesson here is that we need to avoid holiday music from the cold European countries. Who was that Norwegian country singer we suffered through last year?

Jason: That wasn’t Pierre Perpall. Who was it? Michael Damian? It was Michael Damian.

Jeff: Arne Benoni!

Jason: Oh, Jeff. Arne Benoni was two years ago.

Jeff: I’m looking at his picture and wishing he had an argyle sweater vest and a hat.

Jason: You straight up Ralf’d right through 2012.

Jeff: I wish I could Ralf back to 2004!

Jason: Back when Ralf was only 9!

I hate you, Zendaya.