Just because it’s not even close to Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you should pass up the opportunity to tell someone special to you how much you care about them. But man, the typical store-bought greeting card just feels so generic and impersonal. And forget those blank cards with the cute pictures on the front. I’m already paying the card company to express my feelings for me, so screw the creative writing assignment.

There’s got to be some middle ground here, and I think I have it — the Kiss Kard. Think about it. Kiss has been wooing the ladies with their stage spectacles and killer riffs for 40 years, and in the process earned a reputation as lotharios. But I know they’re really just big old softies at heart.

So for you, the lovestruck fool who has been searching for how to say “I love you” in the most creative and romantic way possible, I offer ten vintage Kiss lyrics in the form of heartfelt greeting cards. Get ready to rock and roll all night, and cuddle every day!

#1. “Burn Bitch Burn” (from Animalize)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Burn Bitch Burn" (from Animalize)

#2. “Let’s Put the X in Sex” (from Smashes, Thrashes & Hits)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Let's Put the X in Sex" (from Smashes, Thrashes & Hits)

#3. “Spit” (from Revenge)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Spit" (from Revenge)

#4. “Uh! All Night” (from Asylum)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Uh! All Night" (from Asylum)

#5. “Take Me” (from Rock and Roll Over)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Take Me" (from Rock and Roll Over)

#6. “Goin’ Blind” (from Hotter Than Hell)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Goin' Blind" (from Hotter Than Hell)

#7. “Fits Like a Glove” (from Lick It Up)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Fits Like a Glove" (from Lick It Up)

#8. “Rocket Ride” (from Alive II)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Rocket Ride" (from Alive II)

#9. “Read My Body” (from Hot in the Shade)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "Read My Body" (from Hot in the Shade)

#10. “God of Thunder” (from Destroyer)

Kiss Greeting Kard - "God of Thunder" (from Destroyer)

About the Author

Chris Holmes

Chris Holmes joined the Popdose writing staff only after enduring a humiliating series of hazing rituals. One day he'll write a tell-all book, and then they'll all pay. Until then, you can also catch him at his regular home, The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, or you can follow him on Twitter.

View All Articles